I feel so unappreciated.
I love my friends, and I only want the best for them, but they really wind me up sometimes. I always do little things for them to show I care like waiting behind 10 minutes for them even if I really need to be somewhere, letting them take some of my food for the umpteenth time, being there if they need me etc, but they never do the same. If I vocalise my thoughts about this I only get a shrug in return.
I'm not the loud and chatty type so I listen to most of their conversations while nodding along, but if I ever want to share a story they quickly tune me out because everything I say is 'boring'. Then they complain I don't say much. I have an olive skin tone, which apparently translates to 'green' and they'll randomly point out that I'm camoflagued while sitting in the grass. I don't have any input when it comes to group descisions because 'my opinion doesn't count' because of something dumb I did 5 years ago that they bring up all the time. Everything I love is weird, pervy and disgusting to them and they make sure to remind me constantly while telling me how much of a faliure I am. I have a little more money in my savings than them because I don't blow it all at once so they expect me to lend them money whenever and expect that I don't notice they pay me back short or use things they've given me as an excuse.
I have some great times with them from time to time, sure, but I can't wait to move in and make new friends. Sometimes I wonder why I'm still dealing with them. I guess it's because I'm afraid of being alone. The trouble is, I feel lonely even though I'm surrounded by people.