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Author Topic: Rants: Everyday Venting  (Read 171389 times)

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Offline Alessia Starfurr

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Re: Rants: Everyday Venting
« Reply #6300 on: July 26, 2016, 07:34:19 PM »
Since the incident and the Toxicologic report I became pretty much the shame of the family
even though it wasn't your fault? Seriuously that's more like a shamed family that si not right >:(
Uhh..Lord I didn't train to be a pilot. Tell me I don't have any more flying to do today.........................  Amen. ~ 'Dutch' Halo3 ODST.

We all go through peroids of darkness. In such times we can turn to the Lord, but it's good to have friends ~  Joshua Graham , Fallout New Vegas, Honest Hearts.

When people are lost they turn to the man who  acts like he knows the way out,  when the truth is he knows less than them. ~ John McMillan Original War

"Never Interfere With an Enemy While He’s in the Process of Destroying Himself" -Unknown.

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Offline Bricket

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Re: Rants: Everyday Venting
« Reply #6301 on: July 26, 2016, 07:35:05 PM »
Since the incident and the Toxicologic report I became pretty much the shame of the family
even though it wasn't your fault?

They decided to think differently about it :')

Offline Alessia Starfurr

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Re: Rants: Everyday Venting
« Reply #6302 on: July 26, 2016, 07:36:15 PM »
Since the incident and the Toxicologic report I became pretty much the shame of the family
even though it wasn't your fault?

They decided to think differently about it :')
Seriously that's more like a shamed family that is not right >:( Shame on them!!!
Uhh..Lord I didn't train to be a pilot. Tell me I don't have any more flying to do today.........................  Amen. ~ 'Dutch' Halo3 ODST.

We all go through peroids of darkness. In such times we can turn to the Lord, but it's good to have friends ~  Joshua Graham , Fallout New Vegas, Honest Hearts.

When people are lost they turn to the man who  acts like he knows the way out,  when the truth is he knows less than them. ~ John McMillan Original War

"Never Interfere With an Enemy While He’s in the Process of Destroying Himself" -Unknown.

"I guess irony can be pretty ironic sometimes" ~William Shatter, Airplane II 

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Offline Bricket

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Re: Rants: Everyday Venting
« Reply #6303 on: July 26, 2016, 07:37:45 PM »
Since the incident and the Toxicologic report I became pretty much the shame of the family
even though it wasn't your fault?

They decided to think differently about it :')
Seriously that's more like a shamed family that is not right >:( Shame on them!!!

Welcome to my world where every faillure determines who you are and every misstep you make is your final path  :D
And then people are surprised I want to escape the toxic enviroment

Offline Alessia Starfurr

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Re: Rants: Everyday Venting
« Reply #6304 on: July 26, 2016, 07:39:31 PM »
Since the incident and the Toxicologic report I became pretty much the shame of the family
even though it wasn't your fault?

They decided to think differently about it :')
Seriously that's more like a shamed family that is not right >:( Shame on them!!!

Welcome to my world where every faillure determines who you are and every misstep you make is your final path  :D
And then people are surprised I want to escape the toxic enviroment
in  a way it does, Bricket ,but what you do with  these misteps and failures is what makes you.
Uhh..Lord I didn't train to be a pilot. Tell me I don't have any more flying to do today.........................  Amen. ~ 'Dutch' Halo3 ODST.

We all go through peroids of darkness. In such times we can turn to the Lord, but it's good to have friends ~  Joshua Graham , Fallout New Vegas, Honest Hearts.

When people are lost they turn to the man who  acts like he knows the way out,  when the truth is he knows less than them. ~ John McMillan Original War

"Never Interfere With an Enemy While He’s in the Process of Destroying Himself" -Unknown.

"I guess irony can be pretty ironic sometimes" ~William Shatter, Airplane II 

Credits: Alesssia pictures by JackThorn/Tomas13

Offline Bricket

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Re: Rants: Everyday Venting
« Reply #6305 on: July 26, 2016, 07:45:11 PM »
Welcome to my life Alex

I got regular beaten, bullied until I coulnd't take it anymore, abused for some sick reason, physically punished and all of that delicious childhood.
And now they all want to act like nothing happened and everything is fine + we are a happy family.

I've never experienced kindness, there is no trust in people all because I've seen what people really are.
You know what my biggest fear is? It's not the dark, it's not the monsters, it's not death, it's that I will become like my dad

Offline Nutmeg

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Re: Rants: Everyday Venting
« Reply #6306 on: July 26, 2016, 08:27:22 PM »
Welcome to my life Alex

I got regular beaten, bullied until I coulnd't take it anymore, abused for some sick reason, physically punished and all of that delicious childhood.
And now they all want to act like nothing happened and everything is fine + we are a happy family.

I've never experienced kindness, there is no trust in people all because I've seen what people really are.
You know what my biggest fear is? It's not the dark, it's not the monsters, it's not death, it's that I will become like my dad


I'm really sorry you had to go through this, Bricket, it must have been very difficult growing up for you and managing to stay sane through it. It's understandable that you've lost trust in people because of what you've seen, and that you're afraid of becoming like them. I've seen it too, though I can't say that I know exactly how you feel.


Even though the world is a terrible place at times, kindness still does exist, and it will help even someone in your situation if you allow it. People say that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree in terms of families, but what they fail to mention is that apples are seldom found below trees nowadays. They are picked off the ground by others and transported far away, saving them from rotting in the grass and being infested. Even though the world hasn't shown you enough kindness so far, we are here for you and we can help you pick yourself up so you can move on to a better place. Therapy is a good place to start too, it can help you with your outlook even if the situation doesn't get much better. Once you're mentally in a better situation you can start feeling happiness and it will draw people to you. Your situation with your family may improve, it may not, but there is always happiness, kindness and help to be found in others. It's always difficult placing trust in others, and there's always a risk that they may betray you. However, it can also be rewarding beyond what you imagine.


I'm so sorry if this isn't helpful, I tried to sum up my view on these things. Kind of.
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Offline Rocco Rex

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Re: Rants: Everyday Venting
« Reply #6307 on: July 26, 2016, 09:07:01 PM »

You know what my biggest fear is? It's not the dark, it's not the monsters, it's not death, it's that I will become like my dad
You have spoken for both of us.


Mom is making  a record for staying in town today. She knows exactly how critical it is I get home, yet she is doing literally everything. I can't tell you the last time she shopped for clothes. Guess what one of the things today is? You guessed it. That, and everything else

Offline Rob_Silvermyst

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Re: Rants: Everyday Venting
« Reply #6308 on: July 27, 2016, 04:58:52 AM »
Welcome to my life Alex

I got regular beaten, bullied until I coulnd't take it anymore, abused for some sick reason, physically punished and all of that delicious childhood.
And now they all want to act like nothing happened and everything is fine + we are a happy family.

I've never experienced kindness, there is no trust in people all because I've seen what people really are.
You know what my biggest fear is? It's not the dark, it's not the monsters, it's not death, it's that I will become like my dad
I know the feeling. Not my dad though, my stepfather. Although my biological father is one mentally sick person, the police arrested him the day after my mother married him. She divorced him very quickly once she learned what he did. She had the chance to abort me, but she chose not to, thankfully.

However, my stepfather was no step-up. He owns apartment buildings, so I can see why she accepted his help. But he has been nothing but abusive and derogatory to me. I wouldn't eat an orange without picking the seeds out, so he used my head as a punching bag before slamming me repeatedly into the table . The driveway wasn't shoveled wide enough, so he threw the shovel at me like it was a spear. At every opportunity, he'd re-enforce how 'useless and worthless' I was and how I'd 'never amount to nothing'. To him, all of my friends were just there to use me. Of course, this is when my mother isn't around due to work. And he'd make me help him out in his apartment buildings.

I will never know why he hates me. Quite honestly, I've grown beyond the point of caring and that's where my fear comes in. That I don't care. That I do snap when I get pushed far enough. Here I am in my mid-thirties and I want to be a father. To give a child the kind of love and support I never received as a child. I feel secure enough that I will never be like my stepfather and certainly nothing like my biological father, but I keep that fear in the back of my head to keep me on course. A warning of what could be if I let myself slip.
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Offline Ori

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Re: Rants: Everyday Venting
« Reply #6309 on: July 27, 2016, 10:42:15 AM »
Mother sent me out to throw out trash in the middle of the night, through a front yard where it's devoid of light (cause we're in the country) and it's just swarming with roaches. My mother sent me out there with two trashabgs, so one in each hand. I told her there was no light, she told me to deal with it, so I dealt with it the best I could, I put the phone in my front pocket of ymy shirt. Dropped my phone, Broke my phone's screen... Again. Upon returning I found a roach waiting for me on the wall by the door, and it was pretty big. Returning to the city tomorrow, chances are I won't  be able to fix my phone there because Galaxy note users in Japan are rare.

This vacation is the best vacation ever, (Sarcasm is intended.)
your from japan?

My mother is Japanese,  I live in America. Just taking a vacation in Japan.
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Offline Alessia Starfurr

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Re: Rants: Everyday Venting
« Reply #6310 on: July 27, 2016, 11:09:13 AM »
Welcome to my life Alex

I got regular beaten, bullied until I coulnd't take it anymore, abused for some sick reason, physically punished and all of that delicious childhood.
And now they all want to act like nothing happened and everything is fine + we are a happy family.

I've never experienced kindness, there is no trust in people all because I've seen what people really are.
You know what my biggest fear is? It's not the dark, it's not the monsters, it's not death, it's that I will become like my dad
I know the feeling. Not my dad though, my stepfather. Although my biological father is one mentally sick person, the police arrested him the day after my mother married him. She divorced him very quickly once she learned what he did. She had the chance to abort me, but she chose not to, thankfully.

However, my stepfather was no step-up. He owns apartment buildings, so I can see why she accepted his help. But he has been nothing but abusive and derogatory to me. I wouldn't eat an orange without picking the seeds out, so he used my head as a punching bag before slamming me repeatedly into the table . The driveway wasn't shoveled wide enough, so he threw the shovel at me like it was a spear. At every opportunity, he'd re-enforce how 'useless and worthless' I was and how I'd 'never amount to nothing'. To him, all of my friends were just there to use me. Of course, this is when my mother isn't around due to work. And he'd make me help him out in his apartment buildings.

I will never know why he hates me. Quite honestly, I've grown beyond the point of caring and that's where my fear comes in. That I don't care. That I do snap when I get pushed far enough. Here I am in my mid-thirties and I want to be a father. To give a child the kind of love and support I never received as a child. I feel secure enough that I will never be like my stepfather and certainly nothing like my biological father, but I keep that fear in the back of my head to keep me on course. A warning of what could be if I let myself slip.
don't quote me on this but he hates you because you don't make him money...
Uhh..Lord I didn't train to be a pilot. Tell me I don't have any more flying to do today.........................  Amen. ~ 'Dutch' Halo3 ODST.

We all go through peroids of darkness. In such times we can turn to the Lord, but it's good to have friends ~  Joshua Graham , Fallout New Vegas, Honest Hearts.

When people are lost they turn to the man who  acts like he knows the way out,  when the truth is he knows less than them. ~ John McMillan Original War

"Never Interfere With an Enemy While He’s in the Process of Destroying Himself" -Unknown.

"I guess irony can be pretty ironic sometimes" ~William Shatter, Airplane II 

Credits: Alesssia pictures by JackThorn/Tomas13

Offline The Past

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Re: Rants: Everyday Venting
« Reply #6311 on: July 27, 2016, 03:01:02 PM »
I don't know who the hell I am. I seem unintentionally inconsistent as a person, like I have no true identity aside from being a depressed ADHD-riddled NEET. But at the same time I could be overthinking.
But at the SAME time, I could be totally right and need to accept how I feel is the bitter truth.

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Re: Rants: Everyday Venting
« Reply #6312 on: July 27, 2016, 03:28:37 PM »

Rob: I suspect it's because you weren't his perfect imagined child. That's what I think my dad thinks...


Evnamishko: Oh I hate it when I'm inconsistent. I mean, I'm me, so I should always do what I do, right? I vastly overthink too. And then I'll overthink the overthinking. I'm still trying to break the home mold ( while still keeping up IRL) and figure out who I am.

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Re: Rants: Everyday Venting
« Reply #6313 on: July 27, 2016, 07:01:24 PM »
Hmm... I thought my brand new Windows 10 computer would be a bit smarter than what it's been showing me recently.
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Offline Bricket

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Re: Rants: Everyday Venting
« Reply #6314 on: July 27, 2016, 07:38:55 PM »
My GF broke up with me, well I did it in fact but she started behaving like a sociopath and I had to break-up.
Now she is starting to threaten me so I had to block her, she found out she can annoy my friends by asking where I'm etc.

Guess this is strike one

 

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