Rants: Everyday Venting

[Bricket]

Nah, it's good.
If you're tired you need to sleep

[Rocco Rex]

No problem Cecilia. Sleep safe

Post Merge: July 06, 2016, 02:24:13 AMBricket, I can't say everything will turn out great, because I honestly don't know what will happen. I'm still at the beginning of my own story. But there is one thing I know for certain. We each have a purpose. We have each been through fires hotter than the vast majority of people. We each have an evil father who tries to defeat us and others in every way possible. I refuse to let my story end like this. When I die, I want to at very least say "I did my utmost best. I made mistakes, but I didn't give up. I fought". The strongest metal goes through the hottest fire. It will not be easy. At times, it has and will be down right horrible. But I refuse to lose, to give up and let him win. Please, join me. Refuse to lose. Live only if to spite him, to rub his face in your existence. Let's fight.

[Farewell]

Of course my mom makes me an appointment for therapy. Unbelievable... I have to talk to a complete **censor** stranger, that I don't feel comfortable doing, about all my damn problems and feelings? Pathetic. I don't care what anyone says "It can help you." I didn't ask, so shut it.

[Rocco Rex]

Lie Zaida. Maybe, if absolutely necessary, let a minor thing slip so your parents might think it worked. Or make up a fake problem to be 'fixed'. I've never had therapy, but bold faced lying would be what I do.

[Bricket]

Bricket, I can't say everything will turn out great, because I honestly don't know what will happen. I'm still at the beginning of my own story. But there is one thing I know for certain. We each have a purpose. We have each been through fires hotter than the vast majority of people. We each have an evil father who tries to defeat us and others in every way possible. I refuse to let my story end like this. When I die, I want to at very least say "I did my utmost best. I made mistakes, but I didn't give up. I fought". The strongest metal goes through the hottest fire. It will not be easy. At times, it has and will be down right horrible. But I refuse to lose, to give up and let him win. Please, join me. Refuse to lose. Live only if to spite him, to rub his face in your existence. Let's fight.

What's the point of winning if you know you've already lost?

[Rocco Rex]

If you give up, he wins. If you fight, he can't win, and his self destructive actions are pointless. And if you win, he loses. Even if you aren't willing to fight for yourself, fight him. Fight so he can't win. Fight so every day you can say "Screw you, I refuse to lose, you shall never win" use you anger. Channel it. Use it to light s fire. A fire that will keep you going so he never wins.

[Bricket]

Trust me: he already won.
I mean: he is almost 24/7 in my head, everytime someone says how much they love their dad I get a flashback of a beating or emotional breaking me.
He won, he is just finishing it

[Rocco Rex]

I hoped I would never have to suggest this to anyone ever. It was consuming me.

Kill your emotions. Become cold, psychopathic. Learn to use your anger and hatred of him. Learn to love anger and hatred. Enjoy causing pain. Literally nothing phased me. My reaction to literally everything was hatred and anger. It kept me alive, it kept me going. It lit a drive in me I still have today. I did some pretty bad stuff, but I survived, and now I'm heading up and out. I'm some who believes the end justifies the means.
And now, I've gotten to where I no longer need it. I can snap it back on in the blink of the eye. I'm scared, but alive and fighting.

Ignore the video, just listen to the song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EkzVHer6B8A

[Bricket]

Killing emotions?
How do you think I can keep walking with a smile?
I walked here without any emotion: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-Na4HJxCMo

This is just the end of the line dear Rocco.
He won, he has gotten what he want; he does not care about emotions, about others their futures. He has already robbed my bankaccount (around €5000) to use for himself, he has beaten me up, pushed me from stairs, threathened me with a nail gun and I've seen him doing horrible stuff.
I've see this happening since I was a kid of 3 years old...

[Rocco Rex]

It is only the end if you allow it. He would enjoy seeing you dead. Don't give him victory.
Your family needs you. They love you. Think how much more difficult it would be for them.
Your country needs you. You are a strong nationalist patriot, which is a rare breed today.

[Bricket]

He is not your everyday abusive dad.
Basically he enjoys hurting people as much as they can.

I was working on a modelrailroad: he smashed it.
Best part of all of it: this is when he is sober...

[Rocco Rex]

He is not your everyday abusive dad.
Basically he enjoys hurting people as much as they can.

My dad goes out of his way to hurt or offend people. When he is mad (almost everyday) he'll go around and find something not done perfectly, or he'll make a reason to go after literally everyone here. Incoming obscenity, abusive rant. He smashes stuff all the time.
For the majority of my life, I had zero contact with people outside the house. We are/were homeschooled, so literally none. He has banned almost everything. It was only recently music was permitted as long as he couldn't hear it. North Korea is a good comparison to here.


We could go on for hours about what they have done, but it changes nothing. And if you want, I will stay online for as long as I can. I'll stay awake for days until I pass out from exhaustion. I'll listen to anything you want to say. I'll say anything I think will help. In the end, it is your call. If you want to surrender, it is your call. But I beg you not to, and I'll do anything I can.

[Folic Acid]

Well I am honestly tired of people period it isn't just family doing that crap to me it is literally everyone I know and some people I have no clue who they are and they are talking about me... Like who the heck are you people?

[Bricket]

I wanted to come here and rant about personal stuff, but reading how some of you are feeling made me realise just how small my problems are in comparison to yours. Thanks for putting me back in my place, guys. And stay strong.

You don't have to be put in your place.
Every problem is a problem no matter of how big or small it is, you can have your rant here.
Just tell us what's been bugging you, so you can have the chance to let some steam off

[Bricket]

It's just a minor annoyance really, something about people being unthankful. Not at all comparable to what you have been through. No worries, Bricket.

No please, go ahead: have your rant