I cant cry anymore

[Ares the Ram]

I havent cried in what seems like an eternity. Ive been to two funerals of family members, 1 I was close to and the other not really, and I almost cried, but no tears. Ive worked myself into a mentality of surviving instead of living where I cant have emotions or feelings because they get in the way. This is also why I've had trouble finding love. It's hard for me to accept help from people because I feel like I have to do everything by myself or else I feel weak. I wanna provide and take care of you. I want to be there forever and protect you from the world. I want to cry and hold you. I dont want to be a (censored just to be safe) I want to care about people. I dont want to be alone forever. I want to come down off my high horse and think myself equal to everyone. I dont want to hate people. I want someone here that I can love. Thanks for listening/reading.

[Puncia]

Oh Macid, don't beat yourself down like this. Many find it hard to shed tears although they feel the same emotions, just as deep. I hardly think anyone would think less of you just because of it. It's understandable. You have a reason for this and you've done great so far getting out of it.

What you need to understand is that people love you for who you are. All that post in this thread, me included, we love you for who you are. Especially once you find the right one, you'll see that it doesn't make you less of a person. I personally find it admirable if anything!

You don't need to keep up a constant façade to seem stronger than what you are - there's enough already. Come to terms with your true, raw and yes, sometimes fragile self. That's where your true strength lies.

[Lumi]

i feel you macid, im kinda the same way, i havent cried in what... years? i have felt sad and down but still nothing. sometimes i just think im emotionally dead

[Kaprika]

..i dun wanna sound like a prick here or anythin....but i came in here planning to give words of encouragement...but now i dont think i can cause the way you just described yourself sounds EXACTLY like my Ex..and he was a huge letdown to me, not to mention he was to blame for my current crippledness....so now all the sympathy i had just flew out the dang window


uh..i kinda feel like i wanna help though. all i can say is this.
the human mind does what it can to survive, and to protect its wellbeing. its a survival mechanism. and if sheilding itself from emotion is what it needed it will do that. those sort of problems take a long time to work out of yourself

[WhiteTiger89]

I can kind of empathize with you, Macid. In the last two months, a long time family friend died of cancer, and a new one has just been diagnosed. Both times I heard the news, I hardly felt anything really profound. Just the surface feelings of loss and worry. Which is weird to me because I'm normally a deeply emotional person. If I had to think of anything that's given me this weird "shield", it was the death of my first cat. That completely tore me apart, not only because it came out of nowhere, but because she was put down without anyone even telling me anything was seriously wrong with her. I cried for hours. :'(

Maybe something similar was the case with you?

[Puncia]

Important note: crying is just one way to show strong emotion, it is not the only. Absence of it does not mean there is no emotion.

[armagre]

i kinda know how you feel
except i hate crying, i feel that makes me look weak, and i cant stand how i feel after words. I feel like a zombie.

but you do have emotions i feel that the only way to gain them back is the force them out.... though i am unsure cause i hid mine a while back.(long story)
i think your mind is trying to protect yourself from something, what ever it may be, you just dont know *cause it does that for some reason*
maybe if you can figure this out, you can...cry again *if you wish*
just a theory though *sorry if this is of no help*

[Ares the Ram]

Thanks for the replies everyone, even you Kaprika   

[Drago Strega]

We are who we are reguardless of the names we are given. So what if you don't cry, so long that it's not health threatening, I don't see why such a stress inducing activity should be considered an ideal show sign of deep depression and saddness. But just because you don't do what is common to other people, doesn't mean you lack emotion. You just answer with silence which is actually calm and clean. And I'm sure the last thing your close family member would want is misery and mess to be brought from result of their death. If you have good memories, keep them and never let them die. Cheer up, you are very conciderate which is very kind and good of you, but it's ok to be what you must for the moment. Especially if it's for your own good and happiness, and if you can make other people happy in the process, considerate it a bonus.  
   Don't sweat it kitten you'll be fine, and I'm certain you'll find somebody to be with. Just be patient and more importantly be yourself.... and try not to lie too much to people, lying doesn't alway work wonders but it can cause great blunders. You're alive, so go live alittle.  
  Mow!

[Ares the Ram]

I have Shiizune here on the forums, but physically I need someone. Just had to add that.

@Drago  I really wish I could live. I really do.

[Drago Strega]

I have Shiizune here on the forums, but physically I need someone. Just had to add that.

@Drago  I really wish I could live. I really do.

   Ok...if you say so. No point in arguing with the unwilling. Good luck in with whatever ventures you pursue.
And always remember to... "Just Keep Swimming..." Like what Dory was singing to the depressing clownfish in "finding nemo," to whom I forgotten its name and don't feel like googling it.?... Or you could just completely ignore me like a lot people tend to do. No biggie... No reason for me to hold my breath hoping that anybody would even consider my opinion. After all what are my thoughts compared to anybodyelse but just another whisper in the dark.
  Mow.