I'm apparently over-sensitive, depressed, dissociated, have no skills to do what I want (especially creative things like furry art/stories), in the wrong body for my mental/spiritual self (in terms of gender/species), left out, should have got involved in things like furry sooner (because I feel like an odd one out, sort of), out of control (mentally/spiritually), lovesick, vulnerable (in social situations, especially), trapped mentally/spiritually/circumstantially, with low self-esteem / feel I might not match expectations to some (and the case of not being damaging to my feelings and growing (online) social relationships with others) and keep hurting others by running / breaking down / being misunderstood. And I hurt (though sometimes I don't feel and I hurt myself (in my own ways)) and I don't know what to do. I feel like I need to owe an apology to everyone but not everyone accepts / knows why I feel sorry and not knowing half-why myself makes me feel like others think I'm just seeking attention / think I'm just worthless filth when I really just want to fulfill my dreams and have friends that are mutually understanding and instead of improving self (because of having no hope / not knowing how) I just end up wasting time talking about and hoping someone will help me (when they may be can't?) and slip into going too far and ending up feeling like I'm sort of like a toy to others. It just makes me hate myself and every time I hit a complete low I'm back to square one and just end up hating myself for it and scared what me and my "daemons" might do (like... to me or even others).
