Jokes!!!!!

[Roxy Wolf]

Here are some more yuletide jokes:


What's a Fjord? - A Norwegian car.


What do you get if you cross a fox with a reindeer? - Vixen.


What do you get if you cross a turkey with an octopus? - Everybody gets a leg at Christmas.


Which of Santa's reindeer is the least polite? - Rudolph.

  epick I love the one about the Norwegian car, as I'm from norway too but here's my joke 


there was the Swedish the Norwegian and the Dane, they where at the top of a large building, and should she who reached the ground first... the Swedish jumped off the building, the Norwegian took the stairs running down them, and the Dane took the elevator, who reached the earth first?








Adam and Eva 

[Cifero Windtail]

It's Eve, actually.
 
 
 
  Wanna hear a dirty joke?

Spoiler for Hidden:

A white horse falls into a mud puddle.

[Roxy Wolf]

um, it really got silent here...


John sits in the living room with the train sett he got the day before, at Christmas, and says: to all you assholes who are on the train! get off, we have waiting pasangers, and to all you who are going on, get the gear up! we don't have all day! his mom comes screaming into the room and grab he's ear, dragging him upstairs: that type of Lanie isn't tolerated here! now you sit in your room for 3 hours and we'll see if you get to play with the train after that, if you use nice words.   3 hours passes, and John goes to the trainsett, and he's mother open her ears as she listens to him: god morning my pasangers, I'm thanking you for choosing our company, and remember your backpack, and to the next pasangers, remember your hand bag can be pleased over the seat. his mother smiles at the kitchen, pleased, the John says: end if someone want to complain at the 3 hours delay, I reffer you to that B*** at the kitchen!

[Edwolf]

Wolf: I'll huff and I'll puff...
Pigs: Get out of it! Or you'll be the one with swine flu!

[alpha wolf]

two peanuts walk into a dark ally and one of them gets asulted 

Post Merge: December 18, 2011, 03:14:01 AMSo there is this monistary and only the holliest of the holy monks go there.  every year the head monk mike hosts the monk of the year awards.  This year a monk named Jim wins monk of the year award.
 
Mike-- "Jim you have won the monk of the year award for this you may have one thing.  It can be anything you want,  it could be a swimming pool, skittles, a country (ANYTHING)
 
Jim--  wow that sounds amazing but i think ill have an apple an orange and a peice of string.
 
Mike--What?
 
Jim-- yea an apple an orange and a peice of string.
 
So mike gives jim his prize and that night there are weird noises and flashing lights coming from Jims room.  the next morning Mike walks up to jim.
 
Mike-- Hey jim what were all those noises coming from your room
 
Jim-- Im sorry Mike i cant tell you that.
 
So the next year Jim wins monk of the year again.  Once more Mike calls Jim into his office.
 
Mike-- Jim you have won monk of the year again.  For this you may have anything you want (ANYTHING)  IT could be a planet,  Wild berry skittles.  Those are just a few options.  The sky is the limit Jim
 
Jim--  Wow anything i want huh.  Well i think ill have an apple an orange and a peice of string.
 
Mike-- Again?
 
Jim-- Yea an apple an orange and a peice of string.
 
So jm givs him the apple orange and string and again there are weird noises and lights from Jims bedroom.
 
Mike-- Jim i cant stand it anymore if you dont tell me want those noises and lights are im kicking you out of the monistary.
 
Jim-- Ok ill tell you but you may not tell another lving soul.
 
So Jim procceded to tell Mike the secret.
 
and jim never told.
 
 
 
wOW THIS TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO WRITE 
 

[Cifero Windtail]

Okay here's a good one...
 
The FBI blows up and everyone dies.
 
 

[Edwolf]

Jimmy: Grandpa, make a frog noise.
Grandpa: No! I don't want to!
Jimmy: Please (!).
Grandpa: Why's it so important to you that I should make a frog noise?
Jimmy: It's because Mum says that if you croak, we can all go to Disney World.

[Luggz]

 I've just taken my 4 year old son to see santa.
 
 As he sat down on his knee,
 he immediately started crying.
 
 I said, "Calm down, he won't hurt you."
 
 "Are you having a laugh?" he screamed,
 
 "How much does this  kid weigh?"

[Edwolf]

Why is it alright for Thomas (the Tank Engine) to be naughty all year round? - He enjoys getting coal for Christmas. 

[Luggz]

An Englishman, a Scotsman, a Norwegian, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie,
 an American, an Egyptian, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Greek, a Russian,
 an Estonian, a German, an Italian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a
 Finn, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Czech, a
 Brazilian, a Canadian, an Argentinian, a Korean and a Swiss man walked
 into a pub. The bouncer says “Sorry.. I can’t let you in without a
 Thai”.
 

[Cifero Windtail]

 Please don't lynch me...

http://longestjokeintheworld.com/

[MrRazot]

 what do you call a man attacked by a lion? Claude *badum tsss*

[anoni]

This is one I made up myself (I later found out it had already been made though ) It's a physics joke though so Idk how many people will get it

Why are physicists bad at sex life? Because when they find the correct position, they don't know the correct momentum and when they find the correct momentum, they don't know the correct position!

3 men walk into a bar, they were taken to the hospital moments later.

[Cifero Windtail]

Okay, so a duck walks into a resturant...

Well, you know how it goes. 

[George]

This may have been posted before...
So...there's a guy in a bar, and the guy next to him (who's clearly drunk) bets him that he can jump out of the window and walk back up into the bar again. The first guy accepts, and the drunk one jumps out of the window and walks back in just fine. Then, the first guy tries to do the same, and falls to a, to say the least, uncomfortable landing. The bartender then says "Wow Superman, you're mean when you're drunk!"