Nobody likes my "lifestyle choices".

[Ori]

[I'm going to go off your first post as there's a lot of comments.] Here's what I think. I'll admit, yeah the whole I live with my mother thing does have a bad ring to it. And I'll admit that when I read that I frowned to say the least but I don't think your friends are using that as an excuse not to hang out with you. They may truly be occupied with things. X.x. my friend is like you a little. He's about 19, and has a daughter he loves with his mother. Now. He's my best friend, and unfortunately due to college, job, and all kinds of stuff. I get to see him at least once a month. At most a few times a month. Do I think he's a bit strange for having a daughter at 19? Sure. Does that change the fact that he's my best friend? HELL NO. But that just might be me >.>so I think you can put a bit more faith in your friends.

[Captain Degenerate]

All I can say is its gonna be one in a million to find a dude who's attractive and basically bumming.


I simply wouldn't date someone with no drive and I'm not particularly chiseled from stone.

[Dean]

I just flew over the previous posts and so I'm sorry if I should repeat other ones.

The most things seem to have been told you yet. I want to add: It sounds hard but give a shit on them. True friends don't care about such decisions if you don't harm yourself or other ones with them. As far as you're happy and healthy, so your friends and your family, everything should be alright. Those who begin to yell at you and to be the arrogant ones - oh hell... jealous beings, nothing else. Jealous and maybe manipulated by medias and the state, too. Since your childhood, you've been taught to go to school for a good job and to get this good job later as well as keep it. Why? Money... money rules the world. It's stupid that these colorful pieces of paper can do so but no one cares. They only see the money which gets you a house/an apartment, food, clothes and all that. And things which truly are real, have been forgotten or hidden with time.

It's not your fault and it's not their fault. It's the way we've been raised - mainly.
So, don't be sad, angry or disappointed too much. You seem to be a nice guy and so I am very sure that you'll find a real friend soon. Maybe not today or tomorrow, not this week but maybe next month. Who knows? Just be patient.

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I really tried to write a good and understandable text - I'm a tired German and can't concentrate anymore. You're allowed to keep all mistakes and weirdos within this post. Thank you!

[anoni]

Some of the reactions might be because of how society teaches us about work. Within a labour driven society like ours work is highly cherished, it is considered both a way for self actualization as well as alturism, having a job benefits society in great ways, while having a job is more arguable (It depends what you do!).

  Basically, you were born into this society, so you're expected to bring some value to that society implicitly. The movement and mindset these days is shifting, that people who do actually bring no inherent value in society should still be cherished, so there is a shift in this thinking, but a lot of people still subscribe to the old method.

  But an important concept to learn is that working is not an enemy, in fact it is one of the best ways to give your life some form of purpose. You know, I've read your previous posts before, and you're definitely aloof, and you've mentioned that you feel you don't bring anything to the table. If that was the case, working may be a way to fix it. And yes, it's hard, it's may not seem nice at first but you learn to cherish it (sometimes, sometimes you end up in a job you dislike, but this is the JOB you dislike, not the concept of work). Work is a good way to give you a sense of purpose and inherent value, to believe that you are contributing to this society in a positive way.

  You don't HAVE to work to contribute, but working is an easy way to contribute. People can contribute with writing, advice, artistry, and what-not, while not strictly working in a full occupation, but to do this well is hard and most people who try generally don't end up adding this value. So, you've made a choice to not work, and you're very privileged to be in a situation where that is a choice, but emotionally and for your personal growth this may not be the right choice, it might be, but it might not and that's something to consider.

  People want to believe they are worth something, working is a good way (not the only way) to achieve that feeling.

[asterisk]

[I'm going to go off your first post as there's a lot of comments.] Here's what I think. I'll admit, yeah the whole I live with my mother thing does have a bad ring to it. And I'll admit that when I read that I frowned to say the least  but I don't think your friends are using that as an excuse not to hang out with you. They may truly be occupied with things. X.x. my friend is like you a little. He's about 19, and has a daughter he loves with his mother. Now. He's my best friend, and unfortunately due to college, job, and all kinds of stuff. I get to see him at least once a month. At most a few times a month. Do I think he's a bit strange for having a daughter at 19? Sure. Does that change the fact that he's my best friend? HELL NO. But that just might be me >.>so I think you can put a bit more faith in your friends.

They were occupied with being judgemental twats.

Some are actually busy... but I see them post selfies hanging with other friends. As in, the other friends are better quality than me.

And I try not to be judgemental, but... holy hell, I hate when people procreate without being financially stable. If it was accident, it's one thing, but if it was easily preventable... ugh. Well at least he's being an active father in his daughter's life. I will never procreate because my genes are awful anyway and I don't want that responsibility.

All I can say is its gonna be one in a million to find a dude who's attractive and basically bumming.


I simply wouldn't date someone with no drive and I'm not particularly chiseled from stone.

Lol your username is so ironic. Call yourself degenerate, then judge others for being such?

Are you a gay male? I am too and I notice many tend to have your attitude. In a fandom full of them, it's hard to find decent people at times. I feel gayness is a bad influence on things due to the judgemental attitude.

But I do notice that most of us "NEETs"/"basement-dwellers" are not attractive at all. xD Like, really ugly, whether straight or gay. I'm definitely a better looking one and that's not saying much cuz I'm ugly. But I know it's just genetic luck.

I just flew over the previous posts and so I'm sorry if I should repeat other ones.

The most things seem to have been told you yet. I want to add: It sounds hard but give a shit on them. True friends don't care about such decisions if you don't harm yourself or other ones with them. As far as you're happy and healthy, so your friends and your family, everything should be alright. Those who begin to yell at you and to be the arrogant ones - oh hell... jealous beings, nothing else. Jealous and maybe manipulated by medias and the state, too. Since your childhood, you've been taught to go to school for a good job and to get this good job later as well as keep it. Why? Money... money rules the world. It's stupid that these colorful pieces of paper can do so but no one cares. They only see the money which gets you a house/an apartment, food, clothes and all that. And things which truly are real, have been forgotten or hidden with time.

It's not your fault and it's not their fault. It's the way we've been raised - mainly.
So, don't be sad, angry or disappointed too much. You seem to be a nice guy and so I am very sure that you'll find a real friend soon. Maybe not today or tomorrow, not this week but maybe next month. Who knows? Just be patient.

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I really tried to write a good and understandable text - I'm a tired German and can't concentrate anymore. You're allowed to keep all mistakes and weirdos within this post. Thank you!

Your post was perfect. Germans tend to be really excellent at English lol.

Anyway, thanks and I can only hope I find decent people soon.

Some of the reactions might be because of how society teaches us about work. Within a labour driven society like ours work is highly cherished, it is considered both a way for self actualization as well as alturism, having a job benefits society in great ways, while having a job is more arguable (It depends what you do!).

  Basically, you were born into this society, so you're expected to bring some value to that society implicitly. The movement and mindset these days is shifting, that people who do actually bring no inherent value in society should still be cherished, so there is a shift in this thinking, but a lot of people still subscribe to the old method.

  But an important concept to learn is that working is not an enemy, in fact it is one of the best ways to give your life some form of purpose. You know, I've read your previous posts before, and you're definitely aloof, and you've mentioned that you feel you don't bring anything to the table. If that was the case, working may be a way to fix it. And yes, it's hard, it's may not seem nice at first but you learn to cherish it (sometimes, sometimes you end up in a job you dislike, but this is the JOB you dislike, not the concept of work). Work is a good way to give you a sense of purpose and inherent value, to believe that you are contributing to this society in a positive way.

  You don't HAVE to work to contribute, but working is an easy way to contribute. People can contribute with writing, advice, artistry, and what-not, while not strictly working in a full occupation, but to do this well is hard and most people who try generally don't end up adding this value. So, you've made a choice to not work, and you're very privileged to be in a situation where that is a choice, but emotionally and for your personal growth this may not be the right choice, it might be, but it might not and that's something to consider.

  People want to believe they are worth something, working is a good way (not the only way) to achieve that feeling.

"Work Makes You Free"... why does that sound so familiar? :O /sarcasm

I just didn't feel useful working honestly. I was low-tier retail cashier or associate. I could be replaced in 5 minutes. People lining up to take my job if I got fired.

I try contributing in other ways... I end up feeling like that Ralph Wiggum "I'm helping" meme pic. I'll keep trying though.

[Ventus Fall]

Lol your username is so ironic. Call yourself degenerate, then judge others for being such?

Are you a gay male? I am too and I notice many tend to have your attitude. In a fandom full of them, it's hard to find decent people at times. I feel gayness is a bad influence on things due to the judgemental attitude.

But I do notice that most of us "NEETs"/"basement-dwellers" are not attractive at all. xD Like, really ugly, whether straight or gay. I'm definitely a better looking one and that's not saying much cuz I'm ugly. But I know it's just genetic luck.

Not to come across as rude (sorry if I do, it's not my intention). In all honesty I think you're ironic too. You mention how you dislike judgemental people, specifically gay furries. However, while you call yourself ugly (thus being a judgemental gay furry on yourself) you also have pointed out that other gay people in the fandom are ugly.

That aside, I know a gay person or two (if not more ) who also happen to be part of the fandom. Some of which are close friends.
Personally, I think they look handsome. I would even have dated one of them (which they are aware of) if I was a physical a guy myself But since I'm not, he wasn't and isn't interested in me (which I don't blame him for, he has his preferences ) If I was a guy, it might have happened.
Regardless, he too is a 'basement-dweller', but I consider him one of my closest (furry) friends. I have two of those 'types of friends' who live with their parents, don't work and who are gay. One wants to work, the other doesn't (nor probably can due to similar issues).
I don't like them any less or more because of it, they're my friends. I appreciate them for who they are, not if they happen to have a job or not, or living with their parents or not.

So all in all, either your friends are messing with you and you should tell them to stop, or you need to find other friends.

[Captain Degenerate]

I like both the D and the V and I said I'm not particularly chiseled from stone which means I'm average at best.


All I said is the truth I wouldn't date a bum female nor male attractive or otherwise neither will most people on this earth unless you find a person who gets a kick out of you being pathetic or just enjoys carrying financial dead weight.


Some females can get away with being bums I've yet to meet a man in person who can. It's reality help yourself.


And for fucks sake quit thinking someone has to be attractive to get men or women one of my friends irl is objectively unattractive and gets a hell of a lot more ass then me just based on being fun as **censor** to hang around.

[asterisk]

Not to come across as rude (sorry if I do, it's not my intention). In all honesty I think you're ironic too. You mention how you dislike judgemental people, specifically gay furries. However, while you call yourself ugly (thus being a judgemental gay furry on yourself) you also have pointed out that other gay people in the fandom are ugly.

That aside, I know a gay person or two (if not more ) who also happen to be part of the fandom. Some of which are close friends.
Personally, I think they look handsome. I would even have dated one of them (which they are aware of) if I was a physical a guy myself But since I'm not, he wasn't and isn't interested in me (which I don't blame him for, he has his preferences ) If I was a guy, it might have happened.
Regardless, he too is a 'basement-dweller', but I consider him one of my closest (furry) friends. I have two of those 'types of friends' who live with their parents, don't work and who are gay. One wants to work, the other doesn't (nor probably can due to similar issues).
I don't like them any less or more because of it, they're my friends. I appreciate them for who they are, not if they happen to have a job or not, or living with their parents or not.

So all in all, either your friends are messing with you and you should tell them to stop, or you need to find other friends.

You're a very rare individual. A very kind hearted individual. Please never change. For the sake of your friends and whatnot.  It's so difficult finding people like you nowadays. Most people wanna be demeaning and cruel (like the other poster in this thread...). Being mean is "cool" and "edgy" now. Finding decent people is so tough. Even in the fandom.

I'm what I'd like to call "judgemental via experience". I had bad experiences with gay people both in and out of the fandom, therefore, I now avoid them and generally don't trust them, despite being one. Nothing anyone can do about it unless I magically meet some awesome ones or someone invents a time machine and can undo the bad experiences.

As for the ugly comment... well... idk. I feel I'm not too picky yet can never find an attractive guy.

I like both the D and the V and I said I'm not particularly chiseled from stone which means I'm average at best.


All I said is the truth I wouldn't date a bum female nor male attractive or otherwise neither will most people on this earth unless you find a person who gets a kick out of you being pathetic or just enjoys carrying financial dead weight.


Some females can get away with being bums I've yet to meet a man in person who can. It's reality help yourself.


And for fucks sake quit thinking someone has to be attractive to get men or women one of my friends irl is objectively unattractive and gets a hell of a lot more ass then me just based on being fun as **censor** to hang around.

What do you mean with "get away" with? Like a woman being a "sugar baby" to a "sugar daddy"? I feel a male could do this. Some young gay males probably do it with older gay men. But straight men? Ehh. I knew of one case but I think he did work. But still, the woman was older and a lot "higher up" in rank than he was.

And idk why so many furries think it's cool to have your type of attitude. Everyone online thinks this. Hell I can't go anywhere without people being mean to each other.

[Captain Degenerate]

What do you mean "cool" all my attitude is is simply the harsh reality of existance. Most people share my view even the ones who claim otherwise they are kind and admirable I'm simply not kind and do not try to sugarcoat nor mince my words unless I have to because I find it non constructive and I'm flawed as hell I didnt learn to correct my failings through kind words I can tell you that.

[asterisk]

What do you mean "cool" all my attitude is is simply the harsh reality of existance. Most people share my view even the ones who claim otherwise they are kind and admirable I'm simply not kind and do not try to sugarcoat nor mince my words unless I have to because I find it non constructive and I'm flawed as hell I didnt learn to correct my failings through kind words I can tell you that.

Well okay but everyone is like this now. It just sucks.

[Captain Degenerate]

What do you mean "cool" all my attitude is is simply the harsh reality of existance. Most people share my view even the ones who claim otherwise they are kind and admirable I'm simply not kind and do not try to sugarcoat nor mince my words unless I have to because I find it non constructive and I'm flawed as hell I didnt learn to correct my failings through kind words I can tell you that.

Well okay but everyone is like this now. It just sucks.

Why does it suck?


If you are not pleased with you're situation and bothered by other peoples words or actions then you are not entirely secure that you are doing the right thing or comfortable with who you are so naturally you must either change you're ways or situation and regardless of if you fail or not  continuously make an effort to better you'reself to a point where you are comfortable and happy and do not assume I am telling you that you will always succeed in every venture just by trying you will fail a lot before you succeed but failing is experiance to be applied in the pursuit of an eventual success and all it takes is a bit of success to build self esteem.


I would say a first step is a job because money and independence go hand in hand and are a must for survival in the world.

[asterisk]

Why does it suck?


If you are not pleased with you're situation and bothered by other peoples words or actions then you are not entirely secure that you are doing the right thing or comfortable with who you are so naturally you must either change you're ways or situation and regardless of if you fail or not  continuously make an effort to better you'reself to a point where you are comfortable and happy and do not assume I am telling you that you will always succeed in every venture just by trying you will fail a lot before you succeed but failing is experiance to be applied in the pursuit of an eventual success and all it takes is a bit of success to build self esteem.


I would say a first step is a job because money and independence go hand in hand and are a must for survival in the world.

It sucks because I actually value nice people.

And you're trying to mold me into the type of person you want. That's not who I am.

I had jobs. My first job I somehow managed to keep for 2 years.

It didn't make people view me any better. Going to college didn't make people view me any better.

How long does it take before they do? Because I'm not doing that shit for myself. It didn't help my confidence or anything.

[Malina]

You seem to have gotten a lot of good advice so far but I just wanted to add my bit in. If this has already been said I apologise but there's a lot of replies 


In my opinion if you don't have a job or you still live with your parents it shouldn't be anyone else's business, however I think it's healthy to be doing something with your time instead of sitting around the house all day: whether that be charity work or caring/supporting people (eg a relative or homeless people). For me at least, sitting around doing nothing makes me very apathetic (and I know this is a trend in a lot of people I know) so I try to do as much helping/charity as I can since I'm still looking for a job whilst at college. Honestly being out and about (especially during the mornings when no one else is up) helped motivate me and even help my mental health by proving to me I'm not just wasting my life away. The best feeling is when you know you're helping someone else's life become even better (which I personally think is our duty as humans but that's another topic)


So yeah, you're contributing to society and giving your life a purpose whilst boosting your mental health. That can be the starting point to getting a degree/paid job as well.
If there are any homeless/animal shelters or children's centres near you,  it may be worth looking into

[Captain Degenerate]

Why does it suck?


If you are not pleased with you're situation and bothered by other peoples words or actions then you are not entirely secure that you are doing the right thing or comfortable with who you are so naturally you must either change you're ways or situation and regardless of if you fail or not  continuously make an effort to better you'reself to a point where you are comfortable and happy and do not assume I am telling you that you will always succeed in every venture just by trying you will fail a lot before you succeed but failing is experiance to be applied in the pursuit of an eventual success and all it takes is a bit of success to build self esteem.


I would say a first step is a job because money and independence go hand in hand and are a must for survival in the world.

It sucks because I actually value nice people.

And you're trying to mold me into the type of person you want. That's not who I am.

I had jobs. My first job I somehow managed to keep for 2 years.

It didn't make people view me any better. Going to college didn't make people view me any better.

How long does it take before they do? Because I'm not doing that shit for myself. It didn't help my confidence or anything.

I'm not trying to mold you into anything I don't even like you and quite frankly couldn't care less if you are unhappy with you're life I'm just tired of your endless pity farming and complete lack of pride.


All I said is if you are unhappy with you're life and actually bothered by other peoples words then do something about it and try to better yourself to something you actually like this could be a type of person I utterly despise for all I care but at least you would quit begging for pity and have some type of pride.

[asterisk]

I'm not trying to mold you into anything I don't even like you and quite frankly couldn't care less if you are unhappy with you're life I'm just tired of your endless pity farming and complete lack of pride.

Then block me and get off my posts.