Issac's Rants

[Lord Isscarus]

Hey guys, Issac here, I have another question


I have this friend named Aaron, and one time he called my mom a slut in front of me, so I got pissed and put him in a headlock, then forcing him into the ground, making him apologize.


But he didn't even try to get out, he just laid there, crying, begging for me to get off of him, the he ran to the kitchen, yelling that he almost went unconscious.


This is bullshit in my opinion, I've wrestled with my bigger and stronger friend, Ethan, who has put me in headlocks WAY stronger and harder to get put of than the one I put him in, and was no where near close to blacking out, I could actually easily get out, and I ended up beating him in wrestling every time.


There was also another time where I heard him called him pathetic for not doing something, then I pushed him out of the house and he didn't resist or even sound angry at all.


He also doesn't do anything risky, even small things like cutting a fruit, question is, why is he such a freaking wimp? I'm skinnier than he is, yet I'm a way better fighter and much braver, it just doesn't make sense, someone please answer this to me.

[Jibz]

Hi,

I don't know you're situation so I'm just gonna lay out my opinion from my knowledge and experiences.

Some people just prefer not to fight back.

There may have been something in his childhood that makes him scared to do anything risky, or maybe scared to be in a situation where someone else is dominating.

I'm not an expert but I'd say that may be the case? So just be careful with him and don't force him to fight.

It also sounds like he doesn't have a fighting personality. All talk and no walk.


Sorry, I hope that helps.

[Salakar Crocoli]

Different people express their emotions in different ways and you can't read their thought path that leads to that reaction, so everything I say is just conjecture. I for example used to cry whenever I was angry. It's possible that your friends also does it as some form of defense mechanism because something happened to them. If you really want the answer to your question it would probably be best to talk to him. The best solution is to talk to people, not about them.

Sent from my HTC6545LVW using Tapatalk

[Josh]

I think you were well entitled to headlock him. I'd get pissed if my friend did that. Idk him so I can't really tell what happened but there's not much you can do. If that's how he is then I guess that's how he is. You can't change someone but you can help them change themselves?

I hope that helped?
Sorry, I'm not that good when it comes to giving advice.

[John Red Beard]

I'm actually wondering why you care that your friend is a wimp. Is it hurting his life or holding him back in some way, like for example, not asking for a raise even though he deserves one and less deserving coworkers have gotten one? Has someone other than you been violent with him and he's unable to defend himself?


For that matter, I'm wondering why you're being violent towards your friend. Sounds like he says some pretty hurtful things, but does that really justify violence? Especially against someone who is apparently unable to fight back?

[MrRazot]

I'm rolling with John here,


What does it matter that he's a wimp. Just because he's not a fighter doesn't mean he's all bad
It sounds at the very least he knows how to take a hit.
As for the head-locking, you need to be careful. Depending on how you lock him, even the lightest amount of pressure can cause someone to simply pass out. This is because the blood flow to the head runs along the sides of the neck. Disrupt it and the lower blood flow will make them pass out or even die after an extended time.


I personally hope you're not forcing him to do stuff with you or that he's that deprived of friendship that he puts himself through this, because the way you put it doesn't sound friendly.


He's scared of cutting himself while cutting fruit? That doesn't sound irrational. As a chef I can see when someone is scared of knives and when they use them and it's nothing really to be ashamed of (no one like using my knives because I keep them shaving sharp ). What are you scared of?

[MrRazot]

As hair grows, it dries up. Because of the nature of keratin (the stuff that your hair is made of (and rhino horn too)), when it dries, it splits longways. This can cause hair to deteriorate and, I guess in some way, keep itself shorter. By getting a trim every now and then, you remove the split ends and that stops the splits from running all the way along to the root.


I believe that the shampoo Hair and Mane from Walmart for horses somehow actually speeds up hair growth.


Oh, also don't wash your hair every day. Maybe only every few days because washing can cause the hair to dry up and split faster.


Yes, I am a man 

[Lord Isscarus]

A major reason why I do these things is to help my friend toughen up and get used to life, I'm afraid he won't be able to fight back or defend himself when people jump him in the future, he has to know how to defend himself when I'm not with him, or else he could be hospitalized or badly injured, I care about him either way you know.


I can gladly justify why I put him in a headlock, he called my mother a slut and a whore, he has also slapped her one time, which both have angered me to a great effect, it's pretty normal to get angry and get violent if someone insults your family or hurts them in anyway.


He's a very naive and ignorant person, but he still has to know that talking trash about others is just not right.


The reason why I'm friends with him still is because he has disorders, such as ADHD and autism (I have no idea if those disorders lead to events like this, please let me know if they do) he is also suicidal, and I try to defend him from bullies, so I definitely care about him, but what if I'm not there? He has to know how to fight back.


It's just what I think, personally I think he has done some pretty dumb things in the past, but I'm much more mature and can handle more insults, usually I only get physical with other people if they get physical with me or my friends, back then I was way more sensitive.




Post Merge: May 07, 2017, 06:46:23 PMHonestly I do care about him, I never force him to do anything, I just want him to be able to fight back if he has to.

[MrRazot]

My "friend" took money from me to teach a lesson about leaving money lying around. He thought he was teaching me a lesson. I thought he was stealing my money (especially because he "lost it"). I personally don't care what justified the headlock, but I don't think anyone is justified to hurt anyone in any way. Let's ignore that you, being likely untrained, could have killed your friend. I hope you learn one day that there are better ways of dealing with things like this, and I'm not talking about talking to a parent, lmao.


There are more ways to helping toughen someone up than beating them up. Physical wounds may hurt, but it's the ones you don't see that hurt the most (not just internal bleeding, but mental issues). If you want to toughen him up, teach him by motivating him to want to learn. If you keep on failing Math, are you really going to want to actually try? I doubt it. Do you think that you go to the army and it's just all the officers getting to punch the hell out of each new recruit? No.


Hearing that he has autism explains a lot. I think you need to go do some research on that because yes, it has a lot to do with how he communicates with the world. If you're really his friend and want to help him, you'd do some research on this.

[Ventus Fall]

I want to state a few points on this.

1) Learning someone to toughen up by hurting them, be it via headlock, punching, yelling at them, etc. is definitely not going to help them.
It is, in fact counterintuitive. It might make them 'shut down' even more and thus you would have accomplished nothing but the opposite of what you wanted.

2) Just because someone insulted your family or anyone close to you does not warrant violent behaviour. If you are mature as you say you are, you deal with it in a mature way.
What's a mature way?
Talking about it, discussing. Why did he say or do such things? Regardless what the reason is, you can simply tell him and state it's not ok for him to say or do those things and it hurts you and the person he's talking bad about a lot.
If he decides to continue such behaviour, you need to make clear to him you can't be friends any longer.

3) Taking the previous points into account:
Friends do not hurt each other, friends talk to each other about their issues, friends help each other.

I was actively going to a class to learn How to stand up for yourself. Yes, there are classes and courses about this for every type of person all over the world.
If you want to help him, find something like that for him. Tell him you think he needs to be more confident. That you're worried for him and want to help him.
With confidence, with learning how to communicate to others, how to be clear what you want, you'll be able to achieve much more than by learning how to physically hurt someone.

Of course, martial arts and self-defense are always good hobbies and could -in the rare cases you might be attacked- help.
In martial arts they teach you not to fight, but to only do actions that prevent harm to you, and deflect the attacker.


That all aside, a few other points:

4) A headlock can kill, even experienced people -reported as accidental- kill people with headlocks. It's been really recent a few people got killed due to a police officer or officers performing a headlock on people.
Not only in the US, but in Europe too.
Maybe it's fun and games between you and others, but it's still dangerous. As for your friend, I would avoid doing that altogether with him. He clearly does not enjoy it. I think he's not a wimp. He has been showing you clear signs he does not appreciate that, that he does not see this as friend-behaviour, that it makes him feel bad and horrible. And yet you continue.

Once again, if you want to be an actual friend to him, stop hurting him.

5) Whether or not someone has autism does not explain his 'wimpy' behaviour or any of such things. However, he does experience certain issues which 'normal people' may not. But then, his autism might make certain things easier for him, which might be difficult for 'normal people'.
Indeed, I agree with Razot that if you want to learn and understand him, you need to learn about autism. Really learn about it and don't go to 9Gag or some website where they joke about such things, all people who clearly don't understand the condition.
BUT everyone is different, autism does not make someone more 'bad' or more 'good' than someone else. Autistic people learn things differently. They're not aliens, they are humans with brains that function differently.
If properly communicated, they can function just like anyone else. But doing the opposite will make them shut down to those around them.
Those suicidal thoughts you mentioned he has? You hurting him? For him, it might be connected. He might feel no one is really helping him, that he has no true friend.


So all in all: Don't hurt him, talk to him. Try to understand him and actually help him by pointing him in the right direction.

[John Red Beard]

What Mr. Razot and Ventus Fall said.


Did your friend ask you to help him toughen up? Because if not, all you're doing is bullying him, which live Ventus said, is likely to be counter productive. And if your friend didn't ask you to do this, you have no place forcing your idea of what he should be on him. Maybe he doesn't want to tough.


Insults are no justification for violence, even insults to your mother. If someone called my mother a whore, they wouldn't be my friend anymore, but I wouldn't lay a hand on them. Slapping her on the other hand does justify force in response.

[Lord Isscarus]

Might as well be mature and realize what I just did.


I was blindsided of what I was actually doing by the thought that I was helping him in some way, I realize that was WRONG and I should never force somebody to be different or to something.


Thank you for helping me realize that, I will apologize to him as soon as possible and accept him for who he is, regardless of his flaws, I'm also sorry for not researching enough about autism, I'm an idiot for being so ignorant.


I feel idiotic now for so doing this, I kind of hate myself now, but I guess I've learned what to do now, I hope you guys have a great day.

Post Merge: May 08, 2017, 06:44:51 AMI'm 14, and I would hate to stoop down to the level that most 14 year olds are on today.


John, your going to get to places in life, I like your reasoning, maybe we could talk personally sometime and maybe even RP.

[Ventus Fall]

I'm glad we could all help you with this. Don't hate yourself, you thought what you were doing was right. Sometimes someone -or a few people- need to tell you there are other ways of doing things. If you never heard of this from someone else before, it's easy to say and do things in the way you have always been doing.

Also, I hope I didn't come across as being harsh, I just wanted to come across as clearly as possible. It seemed to have been clear, but I just wanted to let you know

(Arguably John Red Beard, Razot and I all had the same reasonining, so I guess you like all three of our reasonings )

[Brigand]

I don't know this guy so I can't really answer to that. It's awkward as **censor** to call your mom a slut if he's your friend, that's for sure.
I think you did the right thing, you can't always solve everything with words and "maturity". Ignore his behavior once and he'll try it again and again.

Also someone who is mature will realize that talking shit about someone can quickly end up in face beating, or headlock in this case. I'd headbutt this guy if I were you.

I don't agree with others here. If he called you a retard or a faggot just for shits and giggles then violence would be a bit too much, but calling someone's mother a slut deserves a proper and quick reaction.

"I will apologize to him as soon as possible and accept him for who he is"
Apologize because you headlocked him when he called your mother a slut? **censor** no, dude. Have some **censor** balls and respect for your parents.

[saph the sergal]

ill say this and this only

[Content removed]

i have ADHD and aspergers [Content removed]

as for the violence: ive done exactly the same: arm near a bandsaw i just ignored it because i knew that my knee was not far from the emergency stop

having these mental health issues is something we need help with not having people sensly put us in headlocks

and oh yes: you can kill with a head lock very fast because both major arteries are down the sides of your neck one wrong movment and well thats a life sentence even possible death