Pea's Recovery

[Pea]

Hi! My name is Pea, and I am a recovering alcoholic.

My recovery is an ongoing process and may very well be for the length of my life. As of my typing this I am now two months sober from alcohol. And to my surprise it's been much harder than I ever expected it to be. I used to think to myself, "I can drop this at any time." But never did. Never even attempted. As my problem became worse and worse, I began to wake up. Slowly but surely. It got to the point where I knew I had made one mistake too many. Just one day after waking up, not knowing what I did the night before, I knew it was time to stop.

Now here I am. On the path to recovery almost entirely on my own. My main coping method is effective, but may not be the best long term solution. I walk every single night for hours on end, thinking to myself and listening to audio books. At this stage I should really begin looking for other solutions, habits, hobbies and even friends.


Perhaps you lovelies could help me there? I'd appreciate any kind words or advice.

[Vortex Cynbel]

You must be a really strong person


It's definitely hard to stop a certain habit especially when you getting addicted to it. One thing is for sure tho that you are making progress. You see I never had any strong addiction to break but I've seen others and I know the struggle.


I would suggest seeking help from a friend or a family member to kinda "monitor" your drinking behaviour and when they notice you are tempted to drink kinda help you take your mind off..


I am sorry I have no helpful suggestions to make but I wanted to say well done and keep going on . I am sure one day you'll get rid of this addiction and you'll be feeling much better .


Be strong! 

[Fable]

Good luck and stay strong!

I wish I had some sage advice but I don't, either way I wanted to leave a message wishing you well in breaking from your addiction.

[Pea]

Thank you so much you two. I've thought about getting my family involved, but as far as things go I'd like to tackle this by myself mainly. I suppose it's pride getting in the way of that, but I believe if I can't do this of my own will and action alone, then I probably never can truly get over it. That's why I'm looking for things to occupy the time I would have otherwise spent drinking. Ive kept myself very secluded from friends and family through the worst of it, and that's something I'll have to ease back into. I've been thinking of buying a cheap and small netbook to begin writing in while I'm out at night.

[Fable]

I think getting a notebook would be a good idea.
It's always been really helpful for me to write things down and write down different thoughts to help get through some difficult times so I think a journal could be really helpful.

[The Past]

DUDE!
Glad to see things are looking up, Pea! Good luck! I'm around all day if you wanna chat. And I still owe you for saving my ass.

[Pea]

You don't owe me a thing. Being your friend is as much as I could ever want. It's good to see you, and to be here on the forums again.

[Ventus Fall]

Hello Pea

I have seen you around here and there, and I have to say you seem like a pretty awesome person.
Especially now. You're acknowledging things have been really bad for you and acknowledging what was going on was wrong, and you have been trying and are still on your way to improving your life.

I see a few already posted a few suggestions. Asking others for help, writing in a notebook. All good suggestions already. The notebook I would definitely also put forth.
And as for asking friends/family to help, there is no shame in that. You'd still be doing it yourself. They can't be expected to have your back anyways 24/7. In a way, you could also see asking for help not as a weakness, but rather as a strength. It's another form of acknowledgement you have had and are having a difficult time. You need to have a variety of safety-levels to fall back on. Maybe not so much asking them for help to monitor you, but moreso that you are in touch with them. Communicate. Go with them when things are difficult. This is often a really good thing to have. Don't ask them or see them as monitoring-buddies (so to speak), but ask them and see them as friends and family. Places you can go to to talk to and with.

Since you asked for advice I'll give some of my own... I'm not sure this is helpful, but regardless, let's see.
Some people have indeed hobbies outside of work and whatnot more (unless sometimes their work is also their hobby). Things I think about as hobbies and fun things:
Drawing, painting, writing, roleplaying, talking to people (moreso in real life than online, I would suggest to you), making things like arts and crafts, gaming, coding (making websites, programs, games), etc.
I think, however, it's best you try all kinds of things. PFF EVEN POTTERY, I dunno! All kinds of things. See what is fun to you.
I think it's best moreso if the thing you enjoy is in some shape or form productive as well. See, gaming can be fun, but does it produce anything? (I mean besides achievements and whatnot.) Usually not. Whereas drawing/painting/writing can produce something. If it's traditional you have something to hold and touch. Something you can maybe put near your bed and wake up to it to see: You had made something.

I think that's important. Something you can see. Something that is tangeble to you.

Maybe this isn't for you, but maybe it is.
I hope it helps.

And take care

[kylethefox]

my only advice is to have someone with you for most of the day, you could tell them about it and they could make sure you dont drink! ^w^ ive never been addicted to anything (well mabye video games!) so im not really a good person to go to for advice! so you can ignore that! anyways i wish you the best of luck and i hope you pull though! ^w^

[Trixsie Vixen]

Hey Pea


You can't know how much I admire you.  You have chosen to do battle and even if the path is difficult you have already done the hardest part.


There are two elements I feel you should tackle.  Firstly, your approach so far is a good one.  The best way to break a habit is to replace it with another habit.  So walking is perfect for that and indeed taking on other hobbies etc is great too.  Especially if you ever find yourself unable to walk for a few weeks or something.


Secondly, there is a high probability that there was something in your life for which alcohol was a coping mechanism.  If that is the case you should do your best to identify what alcohol "helped" you deal with and address it.


The only other thing I'd add is that I genuinely hope you never relapse, but if you ever do stumble don't tell yourself that you're back at square one.  That is a common but false feeling. Sometimes it takes a few attempts, but quitting any addiction is a skill that you get better at with practice.


I have real hope for your success!

[kalan]

Id reccomend finding a local AA meeting. Im 5 years clean and sober and couldnt imagine being here without them


Congratualtions on 2 months dude

[Pea]

Thank you kalan. I've tried AA and it isn't the solution for me. I did used to go, and I still do to let the folks there know I'm okay

[Pea]

I'm sorry for taking so long to respond back to you Vixen. Something you said got me a little anxious and scared even. That talk about relapsing. I don't want to believe it can happen. I'm in total denial at the moment. I suspect it's because I'm terrified of it.

Thank you, however, for your words of encouragement. You've already helped so much to keep my head held high and had more of an impact than you probably think. Thank you so very much Vixen.

[Vortex Cynbel]

I helped my boyfriend to quit smoking so I am kinda seeing this the same way.


You see he was sometimes relapsing but as Vixen said, if you do happen to relapse that doesn't mean you blew it an you gotta start all over again. What I suggest is that if you feel like you are about to drink or drunk something tell it to someone that can help you kinda monitor it.


Also I am not sure how it's more proper to do this, but my boyfriend didn't quit smoking immediately but he did it little by little. Like there were hard moments sometimes where he needed to smoke. When he stopped smoking all together he started vaping and now he quit vaping as well. What I am trying to say is maybe find a way to compensate the cravings you feel on certain occasions. I think it's harder to give up on an addiction in one go..


Anyways I hope I helped kinda Please keep this updated because many people (including me) are willing to help you always

[Ventus Fall]

@Vortex: I just want to point out that for each person it's different. It's very dangerous to suggest to someone who is actively trying to quit with something they have a problem to take a little bit now and again and reduce it more and more. Sometimes it's best for people to quit it altogether (like in this instance). It really depends on person to person and what the substance is we would be talking about.
I've noticed from personal experience if people have the willpower to stop and want to stop (might be harder for some than for others), they will do so immediately and not drag it out until it's reduced. People who have more issues are more likely to not stop entirely, and if they do reduce it more and more, it usually won't last for long. That's just my experience, however (coming from a family of which both sides (used to) smoke).
While I understand this is an idea to quit in another manner and just a suggestion, which might help with other substances, it can be dangerous to suggest this in these circumstances and I'm much happier to hear Pea stopped with it altogether.


It is best indeed to find something else to do to keep your mind off of it. Such various suggestions have already been made in the thread as response to Pea's question But maybe (not sure, though?) if Pea would like some more suggestions? I'm sure he would appreciate all the help he can get.