How did the person above you die?

[?]

Purchased a pen bomb without knowing only found out right when it exploded  with a fast flash then 

[Michen_S]

Ate a pineapple. The pineapple, like any good fruit, exploded 5 seconds after they ate it.

[?]

Was his by a strange beam but nothing happened so Michen just went about his time without worrying about it at all as it must have just been a laser pointer or something so about five days later, Michen is walking along when someone else comes up to them and sniffs then Michen kinds out what the beam actually did . . . . it turned Michen into pizza     which was very strange as everything seemed normal but as they though about it they didn’t have time to react to the crowd around them that suddenly started eating them 

[Brisky]

Confused a half filled waterbottle for copious amounts of shaving cream wich resulted into the Somalian airforce coming to intercept him, wich was a problem, because the Somalian airforce didn't actually exist, so the time police came along and put him in custody next Adam Sandler, who's left shoe was an employee of area-51 who got infected by an alien disease wich turned his foot into the reincarnation of John F. Kennedy, wich proceeded to bludgeon Adam Sandler to death before offering Vee a job for the CIA...

And then a brick fell on his head...

[?]

Died from reading all of that instead of trying to dodge the world's slowest missile 

[Brisky]

THE SUN IS A DEADLY LASER!

[?]

Had the moon land directly on top of them . . . . couldn't play the ocarina

[Brisky]

Was the guy in the background of this video...

[?]

Went back in time to Arma: cold war assault and was exploded there instead   
 

Spoiler for Hidden:

[Sub-Zero Knight]

Didn't believe me when I said there was an angry monster behind them.

[Brisky]

Got her head stuck betwen exactly fourty-five-hundred-thousand-sevenhunderd-and-seventeen-and-a-half pancakes, wich resulted in the death star blowing up...

[?]

was a victim of the dead star explosion 

[Michen_S]

Brisky accidentally drove over them.

[?]

Then got hit by the shell 

[Firox]

caught in middle of a deadly accident