How did the person above you die?

[?]

Poked to death 

[Firox]

was flopped on and got crushed from the large size fur

[?]

Slept over a bamboo stick and it grew into them 

[Ara Av-Toa]

Killed by a nerd saying: "Who do you calculate you are?"
(Cookie for the reference)

[Michen_S]

(I've seen something like that before at the Yogscast Crown Conquest a few years ago!)
Was a pawn on a living chess board, until they got crushed by the opponent's bishop.

[Ara Av-Toa]

(no)
The flop caused the whole world to end.

[Michen_S]

(Actually, yes I did. Who do you voodoo you do?)

Was told so many bad puns he exploded from anger.

[?]

Got turned into a potato and was made into a chip 

[Ara Av-Toa]

Sliced by a Memory Disc. They seem to double as deadly frisbees.

[Teo]

While time was frozen, was beaten up bad

[?]

Got hit by a staff 

[Firox]

a thick chunk of ice fell from the side of a building, falling at high speed onto your back of your neck

[?]

Ice started to melt and they fell into the ocean and a wave took them away 

[Firox]

fell into an ice cream churn, said it wanted to taste it

[?]

Hit by a super fast water jet