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Author Topic: The Random Thread  (Read 4386277 times)

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Mr.Mustard

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Re: The Random Thread
« Reply #76035 on: April 08, 2011, 02:17:15 AM »
Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!

Offline Fly Boy

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Re: The Random Thread
« Reply #76036 on: April 08, 2011, 02:17:48 AM »
Ah,now we see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!

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Offline Ares the Ram

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Re: The Random Thread
« Reply #76037 on: April 08, 2011, 02:19:16 AM »
That rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide!

Offline Alexei

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Re: The Random Thread
« Reply #76038 on: April 08, 2011, 02:19:39 AM »
Ah,now we see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!

Bloody Peasent!!
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Offline Kitt_R_Beesley

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Re: The Random Thread
« Reply #76039 on: April 08, 2011, 02:19:58 AM »
oh lord bless this thy hand grenade!

Mr.Mustard

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Re: The Random Thread
« Reply #76040 on: April 08, 2011, 02:20:37 AM »
The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead.

Large Man with Dead Body: Here's one.

The Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence.

The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.

The Dead Collector: What?

Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There's your ninepence.

The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.

The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.

Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.

The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not.

The Dead Collector: He isn't.

Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.

The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better.

Large Man with Dead Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.

The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.

The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart.

Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don't be such a baby.

The Dead Collector: I can't take him.

The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine.

Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.

The Dead Collector: I can't.

Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.

The Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.

Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when's your next round?

The Dead Collector: Thursday.

The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I think I'll go for a walk.

Large Man with Dead Body: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?

The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel happy. I feel happy.

[the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club]

Large Man with Dead Body: Ah, thank you very much.

The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.

Large Man with Dead Body: Right.

Offline Tim Siguire

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Re: The Random Thread
« Reply #76041 on: April 08, 2011, 02:23:35 AM »
lol ^

im a new tim longtail!!!
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Offline Kitt_R_Beesley

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Re: The Random Thread
« Reply #76042 on: April 08, 2011, 02:24:06 AM »
COMB THE DESERT! COMB THE DESERT!

have you found anything?

team 1 negative
team 2 negative
team 3 negative
team 4 Man we aint found S#*@

Offline Fly Boy

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Re: The Random Thread
« Reply #76043 on: April 08, 2011, 02:24:20 AM »
Ah,now we see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being oppressed!

Bloody Peasent!!

Oh what a give away. Did you hear that? That's what I was going on about.

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Offline Kitt_R_Beesley

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Re: The Random Thread
« Reply #76044 on: April 08, 2011, 02:27:09 AM »
use the schwarts

*hummmmmmm*

Ah I see your schwarts is as big as mine, but how do you use it?

Offline Ares the Ram

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Re: The Random Thread
« Reply #76045 on: April 08, 2011, 02:28:51 AM »
*juggles water balloons* what can possibly go wrong?

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Re: The Random Thread
« Reply #76046 on: April 08, 2011, 02:34:00 AM »
*falls in from a random black hole*
hiiiiii guuyyyssss!
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Re: The Random Thread
« Reply #76047 on: April 08, 2011, 02:36:28 AM »
didn't you miss me rob?? D:
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Re: The Random Thread
« Reply #76048 on: April 08, 2011, 02:39:22 AM »
oh, that. failed science fair experiment
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Re: The Random Thread
« Reply #76049 on: April 08, 2011, 02:41:30 AM »
*opens a second hole above it then jumps through the original falling from the one above through the one below in a linked cycle increasing speed with every fall* YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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