Left Flopping

[Nerita Gotaff]

So, just half an hour ago I was dealing with an incident involving my curfew and how I really...did not have one on July 4. Land of the free indeed, mom and dad..

Anyway, upon returning home I found that they'd forgotten to leave a door open for me and I hadn't a key to let myself in. So I proceeded to call them for the next half hour, which did not work well. They did not respond...

After complaining to my friend and explaining that my iPhone charger was inside the house (they don't have a charger I could borrow) and probably used a total of four dollar-swear words to describe the charger I needed to get, and I apologized, I rang the doorbell... At least fifty times.

Thankfully, dad came down and let me in, and surprisingly he was not mad or angry and he did not yell. He did ask why I hadn't called and I calmly explained that I had, which was responded to with a 'must have been on silent mode', I went upstairs and got into bed and told my friend I was fine.


I'm not sure why I am even asking because I probably know the answer already, but I'd like a lot of input and affirmation in my theory.

Why is it that parents (human parents more specifically) tend to downplay our problems or treat then as though they are nothing, and they only seem to be nice if and when they can recognize their child is important is either when they do something bad or when they are in serious danger? Are all parents like this? Or is it just mine?

[Ventus Fall]

Sorry for the short response, I would like to elaborate further, but time is not my ally at the moment ^^;
But I wanted to let you know I read your post and wanted to reply to it.

So here is my 'short-version'.

I'm guessing, and this is very likely, though anyone is free to correct me if I'm wrong: your father in this case realised you couldn't get in. You had tried to get in and did everything you could.
I'm sure he understood this and that is why he wasn't mad at you in the first place. If he would be, that would have been because he would have been worried. How cliché that even may sound, it's most likely true.

This problem isn't that big honestly, at least not as how I see it, so I see no need making it any larger than it is. You tried getting in, it didn't work, so you tried different methods to solve the problem. I'm sure parents also treat you nice if you're not in danger or if you don't do something bad.
Not being in the house on curfew because you couldn't get in isn't you being bad, or a bad child, or puts you in serious danger. But that's the way I look at it.

Hope this answered your question

[anoni]

I believe the reason parents make an action when you do something bad or are in real danger is because those are abnormal situations in which there assistance or direct intervention is needed. If you do something that they feel is bad they have a need to try and discipline you. If you do something that puts yourself in danger they have a need to save you. However, if you say, lock yourself out, to them there isn't really a need to directly be involved, it'd be a hassle for you sure, but it wouldn't be life threatening, a half an hour to two hour wait isn't seen as extremely threatening. When you are doing something good, they don't see a need to intervene, they will probably give you support and so on and maybe praise, but that isn't really required, positive reinforcement is important but it's not as important (to some parents, not to me though) as negative reinforcement for doing something bad. That would be my explanation.

  You should try and think of ways to solve the problem you just had, the easiest one would be to ask your parents for a key to your house, so you can let yourself in if that happens again. After the situation that just happened, I'm sure they'd oblige!-