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Author Topic: Is this illegal?  (Read 374 times)

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Is this illegal?
« on: May 28, 2013, 02:06:41 AM »
 I have a bank account with a good deal of money that was earned by me in it and it's under my name and such. The only problem is that my parents for some reason or other have full control over the account and are now using it to control me. They keep making me do things with the threat of withholding that money (that rightfully belongs to me) from me. And they say that if I try to go to the bank and access the account myself, they'll dump me off all of their health plans and stop paying my school tuition.
I don't know, it seems a bit illegal to try to coerce someone to do things with the threat of withholding THEIR OWN MONEY. Especially when it's your parents who won't admit to themselves that they can't tell their GROWN SON what to do. For god's sake, I'm nearly twenty years old and am living on my own  T_T                         
Because of this, I'm out about 4 or 5 grand that I desperately need to pay my bills.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2013, 02:08:51 AM by KangaDrake »
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Re: Is this illegal?
« Reply #1 on: May 28, 2013, 06:57:18 AM »
I would say yes, it is illegal for them to keep you from your money. However taking you off their health plans and not paying for your tuition, is not. Unfortunately. I'm really sorry you have to go through this. I just don't understand parents who will WILLINGLY ruin their child's life because their ADULT children do what they want.

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Offline WingedZephyr

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Re: Is this illegal?
« Reply #2 on: May 28, 2013, 07:11:42 PM »
I would be inclined to say that it isn't illegal as long as they, at one point or another, were given control over your account. For example, if they had control over your account when you were under 18 and that still carried over after you were 18, there's nothing (as far as I know) that says they have to give up control of your account after you're 18.

There may be a law I don't know about that would protect your right over your money, but even if there was, you'd have to go to court over it with your parents to actually enforce that law.

I just know that when my parents had control over my bank account when I was a minor, they still had control over it after I turned 18, and they would take my money to pay their bills. When I later went to the bank to try to take them off my account, the bank wouldn't let me take full control of my own account unless I brought my parents in to sign a paper saying they agreed to it. That was particularly aggravating, and maybe your bank is different, but it's something to keep in mind if you do actually go to the bank to talk to them about it.

Depending on the type of account you have with your parents, they might not actually have control over whether or not you take money out of it. They might indeed be able to, but just be careful not to take their threats at face value. Learn what rights you do or don't have with your account. It should be possible to just go to the bank to talk to someone about it without your parents needing to know about or be involved in the conversation. If you can't do that, Google it or look on your bank's website for information.

All that being said, it might be the best idea just to sit down and talk to your parents about their reasons for withholding your money. You didn't list a reason for why they're doing this, so maybe you don't know, and it would probably help to find out. Sit down, talk to them, act mature about it, don't start accusing or yelling at them - simply ask for their reasoning and calmly present your counterpoint for why you believe you should have access to your money. Parents may be unfair or irrational or flat out wrong sometimes, but usually they will have good intentions behind the things they do. Maybe they're trying to act in your best interest. Maybe you could come to a compromise and they could agree to give you part of the money now, or to set up some sort of allowance for you.

I do think your parents are probably going about this the wrong way, but I think that questioning the legality of it is the wrong way to solve your problem unless you're seriously willing to go to court over this. Just try to talk to them and show them that you are an adult who can take care of your own money.
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Re: Is this illegal?
« Reply #3 on: May 29, 2013, 04:17:57 AM »
Hmm  I believe that you should take Zephyrs advice and research how to take control of your account. Also the talking with your parents is very sound advice though it might be a bit nerve wracking it could yield good results.

It might also be a good idea next time you have some cash you wish to deposit to open a new account solely in your name and then use that when cash is withheld. Then just try to get the money from your previous account slowly transferring it to the new account if possible.

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Re: Is this illegal?
« Reply #4 on: May 29, 2013, 05:02:31 AM »
It might also be a good idea next time you have some cash you wish to deposit to open a new account solely in your name and then use that when cash is withheld. Then just try to get the money from your previous account slowly transferring it to the new account if possible.

That's a good point too.
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Re: Is this illegal?
« Reply #5 on: May 29, 2013, 05:03:22 AM »
well after some thought today I probably did overreact to this whole thing, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm out 5 grand because of this. My parents and I are going to be discussing things tomorrow night. They now say they want to give me little bits of the money as an "allowance" but the amount they're telling me is hardly enough to buy anything (like groceries) after most bills are covered.
technically the account is under my name and control but for some reason my parents have been able to finagle the password and account number away from me and won't provide me with that information :P


Post Merge: May 29, 2013, 05:04:11 AM
Hmm  I believe that you should take Zephyrs advice and research how to take control of your account. Also the talking with your parents is very sound advice though it might be a bit nerve wracking it could yield good results.

It might also be a good idea next time you have some cash you wish to deposit to open a new account solely in your name and then use that when cash is withheld. Then just try to get the money from your previous account slowly transferring it to the new account if possible.
I have a new account but it's pretty empty because I haven't worked in about eight months because of school. That other money I came up with because I've worked at different jobs since I was about 14 or 15.
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Re: Is this illegal?
« Reply #6 on: May 29, 2013, 05:21:48 AM »
Although it depends on how the talks go tomorrow you should still probably talk to your bank directly to tell them the troubles. It is possible to change passwords and stuff. If it is completely in your name then your drivers license and social security should probably get the bank to help you relatively easily. However see how the conversation with your parents goes first no use potentially causing a fight if you can settle it peacefully.
Anyway good luck KangaDrake I hope things work out well :) .
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Re: Is this illegal?
« Reply #7 on: May 29, 2013, 05:23:27 AM »
You could also show them your bills and receipts if you need to, to prove you need a higher allowance to cover it all.
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Re: Is this illegal?
« Reply #8 on: June 05, 2013, 08:34:15 PM »
Yeah basically what we've agreed on now is they're paying out for half my rent while I pay the rest of the rent and grocery costs. So I can expect to receive about $500+ per month, and half of that goes to rent. That being stated, I'm still looking for jobs.
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Re: Is this illegal?
« Reply #9 on: June 05, 2013, 10:57:34 PM »
This is kinda unfortunate to read. Withholding your own money from you is one of the worst things a parent can do to their kid. That being said, I would suggest going to the bank yourself with some photo ID and do some banking of your own.


All of that cash may be held in a trust fund put in place by your parents, in which case, yes the money is yours but it's to be saved until you're older and need it for housing, school, etc. and therefore is more difficult to handle. However if that bank account is your own, I would suggest emptying the funds either all into cash to hide somewhere safe or open a new account for yourself to only have access to.


You don't need your parents to come with you unless one of them is the primary holder of the account from which they're holding you hostage. Ask the teller to set up an appointment with an accountant and you're good to go.


Really dude, it's your money. Time to act like it is.
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Re: Is this illegal?
« Reply #10 on: June 11, 2013, 08:46:37 PM »
Call a lawyer and ask. They'd be happy to go over your situation and tell you what your options are.


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Re: Is this illegal?
« Reply #11 on: June 11, 2013, 10:59:25 PM »
My parents do the same thing, and apparently its legal, least in my case because my parents are still considered my carers due to some of my conditions. It started with them saying they'd take small loans out and now my mom's just spending it on ebay and stuff and not paying it back and makes out I don't contribute financially, yet she's spending it on her leisurely stuff and I do, my money is enough to pay for me I don't rarely buy things (I see most are like up to date with fashion and technology, any tech I have is student grant usually as I use that to study) and I'm not really bothered for high speed internet for what they use it for as they use as an excuse... I do my fair bit for the house, too, not like I don't do chores.
It's one reason I don't tell them about things like furry because stereotypes of furry might get me kicked out and all my money stopped and all my work destroyed.


I just try to keep my distance and hope for best this degree won't last to long, I'll get over phobias and stuff and eventually be able to live my own life without them deciding to randomly control me / restrict/take my money.
So I can somewhat associate with your situation.

 

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