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Author Topic: Rolling up Windows  (Read 266 times)

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Offline MrRazot

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Rolling up Windows
« on: May 13, 2013, 06:00:21 PM »
Yes, the title is an elaborate ruse to gain your attention, but please stick by as I convey my thoughts and seek advice upon them.


There are a few who I've shared my plans for life with for the sake of bringing on conversation and the odd tidbit of advice. However now I feel like that world is collapsing and I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing. My recently discussed life plan was to go to South Africa and apply to study Animation in 2014, do well enough that I get hired by one of the school's partners, gain extensive experience, move to America where I have friends who will support me, apply to work at a major animation company, be amazing, etc. This however is falling apart as I start to question not only the world around me, but my intentions and my motivations.

This is where I want you to start thinking.

I've been spending the year in the Netherlands and I've been meaning to do a few things recently like applying to the animation school I want to go to. For this I need 6 finished paintings in any medium and bloody hell... never have I found myself procrastinating as much as I am when it comes to doing those. My mind tells me that I can do it in a matter of moments if I wanted as I generally have a very quick approach to doing things like that (art teacher always said I painted expressionistically) so what's the problem? Do that and the get on with it, apply for everything else you need for next year as well! Will take 10 mins at max! Well I've been thinking about it for the past month and I'm just doing bugger all instead. However a new way of thinking about it has come up which I don't know if it disturbs me or not because it mixes with an interesting logic.

Why bother?

wowowow what????

Well think about it. Do you reeeeeallllyyyy need to go to an institute to learn Animation? no... I'm doing some now infact and I think it's quite good. There's a helluva load of online resources to help and I could pretty much teach myself like how I taught myself guitar... right? So why aren't I animating right now and trying to better myself in this art? I tell myself it's because it's an effort and I don't have any real ideas. Well that's what learning is for and... well I know all the basics and the rest is all just the actually doing bit and developing your skill from that. So am I an animator? Maybe... maybe not... I don't want to do it right now so why will I want to do it in a few years from now?

Dear god I just realised!
Another excuse I've been pulling over my head and choking myself with is that I don't want to do it by myself because that's boring.
Well so far it is. I have no motivation to animate; to do the thing I've told myself that I love doing.

I'm really struggling to structure my thoughts here, but this all stems from youtube. I want to be big like all the other animators, video makers and let's play gamers. I want to make a living doing what I enjoy without any need for motivation. Is the motivation seriously money? That's sad... I don't want to do things only for money, I want to do things I enjoy and gain an income from that so I can continue doing that. That's where I fall envious of all those youtubers who do what they like and enjoy it and are living off of it.

Why can't I do that?

Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw is a Video Game Journalist who is famous for many things, particularly for his web series "Zero Punctuation" where he reviews games. I could do that. I could be a Video Game Journalist. I could do Let's Plays... I've met 2 video makes who have made or do make videos for youtube. Both do it as a hobby as they pursue simply living and the hope that one day they hit it big.
I just don't want to do it alone
It's dangerous to go alone
I am alone
No one got big by themselves

Yet here's another fun thought straight from my mind.

I want to run away from everything and live the life of a Vagabond in the way my mind has romanticized for the past while. I want to run away with the understanding that I have all the time in the world to do whatever I want in the way I want to do it. That's what's happened here in the Netherlands. I have tasted freedom, though I'm only just allowed to dip my little finger in for a taste.
I want to be alone and explore and have personal experiences. I once had a plan where I would play guitar around europe and try get enough money for the next train ticket at each stop. I wanted to do that with a friend. But here I am alone.

All my friends are in South Africa, though will I really be able to go and hang out with them? A year changes a lot.

All I want is a friend who will play Videogames with me, make Animations with me, start Videogame Journalism with me, become big on Youtube with me, play music with me.

My life is perfect, but flawed. I have money, shelter, family, fresh food, clean water, but I don't feel free. I feel like a bird in a cage. I'm always obliged to continue what I'm doing at the benefit of others or the procrastination of myself. I feel obliged to do what will make my family happy. Not running away and simply pursuing a career path.
I'm going to Paris to watch the Legend of Zelda live orchestra next Saturday.

I really don't know any more.

I feel like our pet Budgie at home
his name is Joe
All his friends have died over time and he's still alive, lonely, kept in a cage, it could be cruelty by now, I personally think he's gone insane by now, he's surrounded by people, but he's alone in his cage.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2013, 06:05:49 PM by MrRazot »
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Offline WingedZephyr

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Re: Rolling up Windows
« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2013, 07:08:26 PM »
Having gone to school for animation, completed the program, and looked around for animation jobs here in the U.S., I can tell you there is such a world of difference between working in a room full of other creative people to talk to and worth with, versus sitting in your room at home alone plugging away at your own personal animation projects.

From the class of 30+ animation students that I personally worked with, the ones who were always working on their own projects outside of school were the ones who have all gotten jobs (as far as I'm aware). Aside from those people, there were maybe two people who were just really talented at what they could do and who got jobs based on that. Everyone else mostly seems to have been working in fields unrelated to animation, though I can't say whether that was their choice or if they just couldn't find the job they wanted.

The animation industry is viciously competitive and small. It's incredibly difficult to break into, and you pretty much have to be in California (if you stay within the U.S.) to make it anywhere. You have to be ready and able to fight for that job. You have to do the work and spend the time on it. Because no matter how much you love animation, there are thousands more animators looking for jobs at the same time you are who will be making that extra effort to work on their own projects at home.

It's probably true that if you are able to teach yourself animation and work at it on your own, you don't really need to go to school for it. Most companies will focus on your work instead of your resume. I know I learned a ton at my school though that would have taken me at least twice as long to learn on my own, and the most important thing about going to school for animation is meeting and making connections with people who might end up in the industry with you someday. That part is probably more important than the technical knowledge you'll learn, honestly. Animation school should also teach you how to best display your work, because even if your work is good, an annoying or disorganized demo reel can get you thrown in the "discard" pile.

As for myself... I absolutely love animation. I've known I wanted to do it for as long as I can remember. I've never had more fun at school than when I was in my animation classes. My classmates were incredibly inspiring, and I would often be one of the few people in class who would stay at school for 12+ hours straight working because I just couldn't get enough of it. Ideas and creativity were so thick in the air that you couldn't help feeling inspired.

But then I graduated, had to move away from that environment and the people who inspired me, and found myself completely drained of inspiration. It's been two years since I graduated and I've hardly touched my animation software since. And, unfortunately, that has left me in the group of people who has ended up not doing what they wanted to do. My animation degree doesn't qualify me to do much else, and sometimes I wish I had studied something more widely useful. Everything I've previously said is true, and I know it, but I have trouble following my own advice sometimes. It's been a major struggle for me, I wouldn't wish it on anyone else, but I'm still working on getting better so that maybe someday I will have the job I always dreamed I would have.

So I guess what I'm saying is, give some serious thought to what you want to do and how you're going to go about doing it. If you aren't willing or capable of putting in the necessary effort, you might be better off doing something else and keeping animation as a hobby. If you want to work on your own projects at home, make or find a space for yourself that inspires you. Set goals or schedules or deadlines for yourself. Talk to other creative people and bounce ideas off others. And draw, a lot. Every day.

I've never seen your animations, so I have no idea what kind of potential you have as an animator, but it's not an easy road even for the best of us. Even once you get that animation job you always dreamed about, animating is a largely under-appreciated and underpaid field for the kind of hours people tend to put into it. Animation jobs are rarely constant and dependable since most people work on temporary contracts. It might mean moving around a lot and putting stress on the relationships you have with other people.

If you're ready for that, and if you want to do that, then go for it. I wish you the best of luck. Just be prepared for whatever may happen - be it the best case scenario or the worst.
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Offline MrRazot

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Re: Rolling up Windows
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2013, 07:13:42 PM »
Thank you WZ
It's greatly appreciated
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Offline WingedZephyr

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Re: Rolling up Windows
« Reply #3 on: May 13, 2013, 07:18:16 PM »
No problem. I hope you get things figured out. Feel free to ask me any questions if you want to; I'm always around.
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