I wish I were a lesbian!

[Rayane]

First of all I am a guy and pretty gay, but I so wish I were a lesbian because every guy I meet makes me CRAZY! Lock me up and throw away the key kind of crazy, murderous ideas crazy. I have been single for... ever. I cannot really say I was ever really in a relationship, all of my dating was online. So each and every time I try to get close to a guy... Do not get me wrong, I never "look" for a relationship. I try to be friends, I am not really desperate. So every time I meet a person of the male gender, they are nice for five minutes, then turn into a nightmare. Just now I got out of an argument with a guy. As soon as I started disagreeing, he started evading, insulting my opinions... We started discussing life in the 19th century. Anyone knows that it was a pretty dark era. Only a handful of people got to frolic around in their frocks, top hats, petticoats and corsets, then have a teap party. Asylums were packed, you got locked up at the slightest hint of a "problem". Women especially were victimised... Depression was a huge no-no. History lesson aside, the guy starts insulting everything I say. I clearly stated that I like period clothing and history. When you dislike something and want to voice that in the presence of a fan, what do you do? You certainly do not use words like sh*t or *removed*. (I apologise for the cussing.) That is so offensive! He has this idea of the 19th century and the Victorian era like he never read a single bit about it, but only based his impression on children's books and faerie tales. So that happens every time. Well, something similar.

So what if I maybe even want a relationship eventually? Is it so wrong to not want to be alone all my life? Am I a criminal for wanting some love, understanding and companionship? For hell's sake, I am already 23, I had a very trying life so far, so I deserved a little bit of something good already. >.< I was treated like a toy all my life. What do you do with toys? You play with it until it breaks, then go and buy a new one. I never allowed myself to be broken, though. Sometimes I just feel cursed, as if the universe or whatever force there is is just against me.

I have to apologise for this huge rant. I just have to let all this stress and frustration out sometimes, and this was the only place I could. If I said anything offensive to anyone who reads this, I want to apologise for that as well. I am aware that probably a lot of people here have serious problems, so I am not asking for attention or sympathy. It was either go scream like a maniac or sit down and write a rant.

Thanks in advance.

[Ares the Ram]

*hugs Rayane*  Its better to let it out on us than to keep it bottled up.

[iKero-chu™]

There is pros and cons of everything.
Only you can decide however, if the "glass" of the situation is half empty or half full.
If you know what I mean.

(:

[Rayane]

Thank you both.

What actually gets to me is that it always happens. So I go examine myself from the core. Sometimes I think it is me, something that it is them... I try to be nice, accepting, and tolerant. I have no idea what to really think. o.o Other people seem to have tons of friends and lovers.

[Puncia]

Maybe you're just searching in the wrong places?

[Goblin Cat 😸]

Thank you both.

What actually gets to me is that it always happens. So I go examine myself from the core. Sometimes I think it is me, something that it is them... I try to be nice, accepting, and tolerant. I have no idea what to really think. o.o Other people seem to have tons of friends and lovers.

Not necessarily. I'm 20 and have had a boyfriend once. Dated him for three years and he turned into an ass. Sometimes it happens.

[serpington]

i don't think its always you or them. it might just be that at first you seem combatable but as time goes on the parts that don't mix wear on each other. but thats just my opinion, and what would i know? never had a relationship and never really been looking. but it does seem like your searching in the wrong places try searching around your local area for poeple or you could try asking more questions before you meet them, as a way of lessening the chance of an argument. if you want you can PM me just to chat, i'll admit i don't know much about the 19th century or the Victorian era but i'll do my best.

[Rayane]

Well... The fact of the matter is that I am not even looking for either friends or lovers. I just start talking to someone, then keep talking.
As for my local area... Trust me, I would never, ever, in a million years resort to online dating or friendships if I had any choice. That is a long story...

[Drago Strega]

  Believe me... being female isn't fun, let alone a lesbian. Female humans bleed between 3-5 days of cramping agonizing pain, once per month, plus what men are there that you know of who actually listen to what women say anyway. Plus all women are scheming, crazy scary people, sure you've got a pair up top and lack a dangling pair down south, and you don't look as weird buying lots of sparkly, frilly stuff. But for the medical alone... it just ain't worth the trouble. Be happy with what you are...you don't even have to sit down to use the toilet. Plus in a job you would make way more than me anyway.

But joking aside, if you're looking for somebody to talk to. You're free to pm me whenever, and don't be down...you'll catch a break if express lots of confidence and self worth.
So go get them tiger, let nothing take you down.
  Mow.

[Rayane]

Thank you. That actually makes sense. I believe every gender has its ups and downs, pros and cons...

[WhiteTiger89]

Despite my being a straight guy, I can really empathize with the other guys making you the clinically insane kind of crazy. I was pretty small, quiet, and so not athletic when I was growing up. I was constantly being bullied and called "weak" because I wasn't as strong as a lot of the other guys in my class. A good 90% of my friends in school were girls, as the ones I met were much more sympathetic and understanding than almost all the other guys I knew. Even to this day, I'm much more wary and guarded around other men than I am with women. It probably doesn't help matters that I had a verbally and mentally abusive adoptive dad.

You mention that your local area plays a factor in your online dating. Is there a chance you could move somewhere else in the future?

And hey, if all else fails, you've got people here who will listen and understand. I've only been on these forums for a few weeks, but I have as yet to meet a single jerk.

[Rayane]

Well, thanks so much. I have actually had equally awful experiences with females. I go to a university where 90% of the student populace are girls. When I first started I got into a group of girl. About a month later I noticed they started really excluding me, then I got told to stop hanging with them for the sole reason of being... crazy? eccentric? weird? a jerk?
I wish, their reason was me being male. That had me baffled for months. I changed schools a few times, then I ended up in the same one after a few years. The first day I came to school wearing black pants, a purple shirt, and a black jacket, I got called a Satanist and asked to not talk to anyone.

I really should move. I just wish I could find a place where I could live without fear of anything.

[serpington]

why don't you try back near where you came from. then at least you might feel better being nearer a familure place. you could even jjust go for a holiday or something to see if you feel better.

[WhiteTiger89]

Well, thanks so much. I have actually had equally awful experiences with females. I go to a university where 90% of the student populace are girls. When I first started I got into a group of girl. About a month later I noticed they started really excluding me, then I got told to stop hanging with them for the sole reason of being... crazy? eccentric? weird? a jerk?
I wish, their reason was me being male. That had me baffled for months. I changed schools a few times, then I ended up in the same one after a few years. The first day I came to school wearing black pants, a purple shirt, and a black jacket, I got called a Satanist and asked to not talk to anyone.

I really should move. I just wish I could find a place where I could live without fear of anything.

Well hell. Move to Portland, OR if you can. There are a great number of us who wear our weirdness as a mark of pride!

[Rayane]

I heard that where I live will have free visas and whatever for the states in a year or two... My best friend is in the U.S.