help me, please?

[MinxKitty]

So, I was sort of seeing this guy, though the definition of what we were has always been blurred.. He didn't want a relationship, but we were always closer than friends with benefits.. We told eachother everything, as the closer we grew, the more I told him, stuff I'd never told anyone, and he gave me the confidence to tell others in my life because he accepted me for who I was and still liked me.. Things like, being a furry, wanting to be a guy, how depressed I am all the time..
So now we've ended things completely and are now strictly just friends, this is hard for me because I love him, but that's an entirely different issue..
I realised that no one could ever love a girl who wanted to be a guy, who was a furry, and a depressive weird person.. I wanted to kill myself, but he said if I did he'd blame himself and follow me.. Of course because I love him, if rather live through all my pain than see him hurt, so suicide is out of the question completely!!
I'm a person who lives for love.. I'm never single for long, and as much as people use me and hurt me, I've never given up searching for someone who will really love me.. However, now I don't see how anyone could love me, and I can't go back to pretending to be someone I'm not!!
Please, any help or advice would be very much appreciated!!
Xox

[Vosur Aekira]

The main thing is that you should not give up. If you feel love is so close to being unattainable, you don't stop until you achieve it. It's often that the most-desirable things are often the hardest to get.

[Gelidus]

My girlfriend was going through something similar (although not exactly the same) before she met me. Every time she told me something new about herself that she thought I would hate, she always pushed the fact that I might not like it and we should break up. But I never let her down. She needed me and I loved her so I didn't let her leave. She used to go from crappy relationship to crappy relationship but she stopped about four months before she met me. When she met me she thought it was too good to me true and she kept trying to ruin it cause she was afraid to be happy. I just wouldn't let her.

So basically what I'm trying to say is, just find someone who will accept all of those facts about you, and love you even more for it. Find someone who treats you right and doesn't think they are weird. Find someone who you just can't get rid of.

And try not to stay in relationships you know won't go anywhere. Make yourself hard to get so the good ones will work hard to get you. Just learn to love yourself and not need someone elses love. Because your not screwed up, your you. And being you makes you great, whether certain people think its great or not shouldn't matter. There IS someone out there that will love you.

Trust me, I know for a fact.

[MinxKitty]

Gelidus - thank you so much.. I've never been good at playing hard to get though, I feel I need to please everyone.. Plus, its hard right now to want to be with anyone, as I'm still unquestionably in love with this guy.. He's perfect, I don't know how to get rid of that feeling!!
Thank you both for your kind words
Xox

[Gelidus]

You don't have to play hard to get, you just have to test people before you get in a relationship. Cause I know if my girlfriend played hard to get I probly wouldn't have got her. I was too shy lol. And if you don't want to be with anyone, then don't. Its good to take some time away from dating. It clears your mind.

And the guy your in love with...well...that I don't know how to get rid of. Cause there was a girl I felt the same way about and it was just so hard to deal with the fact that she just wanted to be friends. I'm sure your situation is even worse for you since you have been intimate. So I don't have any advice on that except that it takes time. And it might be good to spend time away from him and try not to contact him...but thats just a theory to get him off your mind.

[MinxKitty]

Thanks
I'm trying not to see him so much, but I can't help it, were so close.. Just see how things go, and hopefully I can get rid of these feelings and we can make a good friendship out of all this ..
If you ever need anything, you know where I am
Xox

[Gelidus]

No problem. I'm here to help 

And if you need anything else, I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. 

[Goblin Cat 😸]

Honestly, I kind of know how you feel. Really you just gotta bite the bullet and keep going in life; be yourself, and don't worry about what someone else may think because all that's going to do is get you down. I have a similar problem (I have depression and I prefer to look.. Gender neutral even though I'm female. It's similar, but not quite because I don't want to be a male, I just don't want to look male or female, lol) because since I lost my last boy friend (not that he was worth the three years we had now) I'm finding it hard to find someone who will like someone like me the way I am in RL, I don't do online relationships -- I live in the south and it seems the only appeal around here are your stereotypical long haired bleach blonde girly girls, or your stereotypical brunette scene girls, ect. I am none of these things, and I constantly get confused or made fun of because I look like a lesbian or a gay boy... But I keep going because if there's one person out there that can tolerate me and accept me, surely there's more than just one since nothing in this world seems to be special snowflake material these days. So, keep your chin up, I'm sure someone will come along.

[Kaprika]

someone can and WILL love you for who you are...

..and sometimes sadly, the one we love most doesnt alwase love us back, its sat but it doesnt alwase work both ways.
but the wonder of love..is it can happen anytime, and it can happen again and again. its not just ONE person in the whole wide world. i felt the same as you, and id constantly jump from boyfreind to boyfriend...
but i finnaly have someone that loves me for being a furry, bisexual, a pervert, that i dress VERY excentricly and that i have some....odd fetishes
its not easy..but it can be done, all it takes is for you to keep wanting it.
put yourself out there..meet people..and your BOUND to find love, but get to know the person first..its good to see if they wanna be friends first

hope this helps!