running from the darkness

[MinxKitty]

You know when your internal organs shut down one by one and eventually you die? That's what it feels like my head is doing, slowly giving up, bit by bit..  I'm finding it hard to do the simplest of things.. Getting out of bed is the hardest, unless I have work, I can lie in bed for days.. And it just makes me feel worse for it.. I've stopped eating except for when I need to, I've stopped tidying my room, its even more of a chore to Bath or even go to the loo.. All the things I used to love and do daily, I've given up on completely, keyboard, reading, writing, having a laugh with friends..  I don't really see the point to anything, or indeed the point to life..  Yet, I don't want to die, I'm struggling like crazy to get back to being happy, but I can't.. I'm going to the doctors tomorrow to ask about going back on my antidepressants.. I've never felt this bad before though, I don't know if they'll help.. I'm not even really sure what's wrong with me.. Yes, there are things that have been upsetting me or making me angry.. But nothing that would cause this much of a reaction.. I'm just giving up! And I hate it so much!!
Thanks for reading this.. Just needed to get it out.. Still confused as ever though.. I just want to be happy!!
Xox

[Puncia]

Whatever it is, I hope you pull through it. And good luck with your appointment tomorrow.

[Ares the Ram]

I feel similar Minx. they say life's a journey, not a destination. Its as if the journey has been halted by extreme fog, where you cant see your own hand in front of your face. we need to clear the fog Minx. at least enough so we can see the road ahead.

[icy wolf]

You know when your internal organs shut down one by one and eventually you die? That's what it feels like my head is doing, slowly giving up, bit by bit..  I'm finding it hard to do the simplest of things.. Getting out of bed is the hardest, unless I have work, I can lie in bed for days.. And it just makes me feel worse for it.. I've stopped eating except for when I need to, I've stopped tidying my room, its even more of a chore to Bath or even go to the loo.. All the things I used to love and do daily, I've given up on completely, keyboard, reading, writing, having a laugh with friends..  I don't really see the point to anything, or indeed the point to life..  Yet, I don't want to die, I'm struggling like crazy to get back to being happy, but I can't.. I'm going to the doctors tomorrow to ask about going back on my antidepressants.. I've never felt this bad before though, I don't know if they'll help.. I'm not even really sure what's wrong with me.. Yes, there are things that have been upsetting me or making me angry.. But nothing that would cause this much of a reaction.. I'm just giving up! And I hate it so much!!
Thanks for reading this.. Just needed to get it out.. Still confused as ever though.. I just want to be happy!!
Xox

your just felling depressed most likely every one get this way around winter( that is if it is winter where you are) when there is less sun 

[MinxKitty]

I feel similar Minx. they say life's a journey, not a destination. Its as if the journey has been halted by extreme fog, where you cant see your own hand in front of your face. we need to clear the fog Minx. at least enough so we can see the road ahead.

Spot on!! So hard to clear fog though.. Its something uncontrollable!! ..

I'd like to hope it is just winter depression Icy!! But I'm really scared ill never feel happy again..

Thank you everyone
Xox

[icy wolf]

so have you got back from the doctors yet?

[MinxKitty]

Yeah.. He wasn't ever nice, kept saying things like 'no one will help you if your not helping yourself'.. Helping myself? That's why I was going back to the doctors.. He didn't really let me explain what was going on, just complained at me a bit and then put me back on my antidepressants.. Its something at least.. But he made me feel like crap because I obviously can't cope without help from tablets etc.. So not fair, I hate doctors!!
Xox

[icy wolf]

ah yeah most doctors only care about money its hard to find one that is not like that my new doctor is like that if you can try to get off the pills it could improve your life   

[WhiteTiger89]

Well Minx, if it helps at all, I think it's awesome your a fan of Jay Naylor. He was the first furry artist I ever started following, and was one of the things that helped me realize I am a furry.

I've fought with depression before quite a bit. I had some pretty dark moments in my life and it's never truly easy dealing with. But the fact that you consciously want to get better will help you in spades. The anti-depressants should also help. I know for me, they kept me from falling back into the really deep lows while I was on them. What helped me really get out of it was my writing. I would just channel all my darkness into my characters and it gave me something else to focus on.

I hope this helps and I hope you're doing better now.

[WingedZephyr]

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