I've got to tell my friend, but it's... complicated.

[beaglebuddy5]

I'm pretty new to the furry community. I have some good friends who are in it, and I (would like to think that I) am pretty cool with them, but I'm not really that accepting of it in myself yet.

It's silly, really. I've already come out to a lot of people regarding my sexual orientation and gender identity, and while I know that being a furry isn't the same thing, it does seem like it should be a lot easier than it is. Coming out to people is old hat by now... except I still feel really odd about people knowing that I am exploring the community.

Well, one of my good friends walked into my room unannounced while I was working on drawing/fleshing out my fursona, and the way I nervously shut my laptop and my notebook made it pretty darn obvious that I had something to hide. She's a furry too -- even bought a fursuit recently -- so I'm sure that she would be cool with it if I told her. I just... I don't know. For some reason I'm not very comfortable with other people knowing, probably because I'm not very comfortable with it myself. I don't know why that is, really.

Anyway, do you think I should just tell her that I was trying to work on my fursona? I don't want to give her the impression that I don't trust her, I just can be very paranoid sometimes.

[✡]

I feel quite the same way.
I have a good friend who I've been friends with since 3rd grade. He became a furry back in middle school (when I was a selfish arrogant nerd and too busy to think about the furry stuff).  Now we're in high school and I became a furry and a few people here and there know I'm kind of a furry (though I'm a full fledged one) but for some reason he's the person I could never tell for some reason. These days he's a huge furry and I'm extremely secretive.
I'll play the hypocrite here and say you should tell other people, it feels so much better when others know

[Ares the Ram]

Maybe its just me, but if one of my friends told me that they were a furry, Id be ecstatic. If she bought a fursuit, you can bet she would be cool if you told her. If you're super uncomfortable with it, just make sure you're alone with her *nudge nudge  * and be sure to also tell her that you dont want anyone else to know. Having someone in the real world who shares your interests (besides us) can be really cool.

[serpington]

first of all hi, and welcome to the forum. second, you just need to trust your judgement, you know she's cool with the whole furry thing and you should know that she should accept you as a furry if you tell her. its just about timing really, and how you go about it. like i spent about half a year dropping subtle hints and clues (along with giant giveaways) to my friend before telling him. so just trust your judgement with this.

[beaglebuddy5]

She was really cool about it, saying that I didn't have to tell her what I was concerned about if I didn't want to, and that if I did, she would listen when I was ready. She didn't really have any idea what I was hiding.

So she came by a little while ago to ask if I was ok, and I figured I might as well tell her so she wouldn't worry. She was completely ok with it, and chided me a bit for being uncomfortable about discovering this part of myself. "Oh, god forbid you find new and interesting things to explore in your life." she said.

She even offered to lend me her fursuit some time, though I'm not ready for that just yet. But she was really accepting and awesome like she always is. Now I just have to work on being accepting myself.  I mean, it's really nothing to be ashamed about like people tease. Not really sure why it's made out to be such a big deal... or why I had such a hangup about it before talking to her.

[ZombiezuRFER]

You probably had some worries that she wouldn't be so accepting of your participation in the furry community, despite the fact you knew she would.  It may be because she knows more of the fandom than you, and you were worried that she, as higher authority, would view you as less than you are.  You just had a bit of low self esteem, you just need to shout encouraging things to yourself into a pillow when you get home.  Should help.

[Z1FF]

i can't suggest anything but this: talk about it the the closest friend you have. the one you are the most sure they will either say ''so what?'' or ''Aww! thats nice to know ^^ '' then look at yourself, was it liberating? was it stressful? and ask yourself, do i feel more comfortable now? if yes, then tell it to every one, if not... sit back some time.


i told my best buddy here and 5 minutes after i was running in school yelling ''i'm a furray!! If you have a prob with me, c'mon we'll deal ourself alone!! '' Nah i'm joking, wasn't like that a all... i've start writting my fiction and my friends were interested with it, they ask what it was, i said i was writting my first furry fiction and voilà ! =3

[Ho'ne Diheart]

Hey don't worry about it. I am pretty certain she would understand....I wish I had furry friends that were in my middle school :'(

[Z1FF]

I wish I had furry friends that were in my middle school :'(

well, it doesnt change a lot of things, i mean, oneof my rl friend is a furry, its not likewe talk about all this all day long an every day

[✡]

Me and my nervousness...

[Z1FF]

Me and my nervousness...

listen music, think about something funny =D

[✡]

Haha I can't even tell my RL furry friends

[Ho'ne Diheart]

well, it doesnt change a lot of things, i mean, oneof my rl friend is a furry, its not likewe talk about all this all day long an every day
[/quote]
I know but it would be nice to have a close friend that can go to fur meets and conventions that even live close too. All my furry friends live too far from me

[Z1FF]

well... we cant even go to furmeets... we live too far of everything... so... we just chill out...

[fishtank]

I think some dutch courage would do it.