stressed out!

[shadowfox]

so yeah... these past couple weeks haven't been the best.......

where to start... well a week or two ago i was laid off from work after only working there for 2.3 months. Now i'm back looking for jobs, which so far has turned up nothing. I'm only an apprentice so i need to work with someone with a certain license before i can get my full license and go out on my own... and of course everyone wants the experience but don't wanna take the time or the money to give someone that experience... i can see me turning this into a massive rant and end up making myself madder or more depressed so i'll end it here for now...

another thing that's been a problem is... it seems like a lot of my closest friends are kinda drifting away... i don't have many friends as it is, but they're the ones i know i can go to for anything and now it's more like they're distant relatives... so yeah now i'm kinda back to where i was back in high school... being a loner, keeping everything to myself, holding back my feelings.... I used to be a self-harmer and i've been getting cravings to start that up again... along with smoking >.< ugggggh

my only stress relievers are shooting and racing... i can't race because i can't afford the gas and i don't have a car i can race with anymore... and shooting i can't afford the ammo... why does everything always turn back to money? rawr!!!




wow i feel a little better already............

[✡]

you need better stress relievers then. whenever I feel like you do I just take a long walk in a natural place while listening to music and forget about the world for a bit. It helps first to forget about your problems, then come back to them later with a cleared mind.

[shadowfox]

well i am going hunting in a week or two so that'll get me away from a lot of it... my cell don't work up there and i'm out in nature for a good... however long the sun is up... an hour or two before sun-up to sunset.... so i'll be thinking about other things.... though looking back on the past years, it'll only give me that week of being stress-free.. usually as soon as i get back the stress just piles right back on again >.< i think it's mostly because i hold a lot of my emotions in and have problems trusting people... i usually don't open up to someone until i trust them, and it takes a long time for that to happen......

[Ares the Ram]

I hear ya man. Ive only got 2 real friends, the rest are just regular friends, and theyre off to college and other places. I'm more of a loner myself, but I use video games to relive myself of stress. Since money is a big factor for you, maybe go into the woods and break sticks. That sounded better in my head, but Im trying to say that by breaking sticks, you can direct your frustration with life/friends/anything else onto something that wont cause you to go to the hospital.

[shadowfox]

I hear ya man. Ive only got 2 real friends, the rest are just regular friends, and theyre off to college and other places. I'm more of a loner myself, but I use video games to relive myself of stress. Since money is a big factor for you, maybe go into the woods and break sticks. That sounded better in my head, but Im trying to say that by breaking sticks, you can direct your frustration with life/friends/anything else onto something that wont cause you to go to the hospital.

I used to beat on a heavy bag... but a few months ago it fell apart so that's out... i could start up my own demolition service lol I also fell back on my gym membership payments so i can't even go there to lift weights and take my frustration out with them, not like i went there very often anyway... I usually go and help a friend out on his farm getting it and the animals ready for the winter, but when i got my job i told him i might not be able to help him so he found another helper, so there goes another stress reliever with the animals... and since it's another long commute and he would usually cover fuel costs, it'd cost more money i don't have to go and visit the animals... wow money really does rule everything............... i do like the stick banging thing lol

I only have one friend i can talk to about anything and they're the one that's kinda drifting and we can only talk on the phone because she lives an hour away from me (the commute is actually 3 hours because of constant traffic)... the friends i can hang out with, i don't fully trust because of things they've done to other people i know (told secrets, talked bad about someone behind their back, etc.)... and one or two i do trust, tend to be a little selfish and like to ask for more advice than they give....

I used to play video games a lot but they've become boring and it's hard to stick with them long enough to vent i wish our pool wasn't out of order.... i miss swimming, that would also help me relax and relieve some stress.. and the only public pool i know of is at the gym i just lost my membership to and you have to pay to use it

[Jaggs]

Two words... Snare Drum, you needs a lot of time behind a drum kit. its what i use

[shadowfox]

Might not be too bad an idea ether... I should pick up my sticks again and see what i remember

[Jaggs]

and there designed and built to be hit so its not like your hurt any one