I can't stand this!

[Kodachi Devil]

   Okay, why is it that high school is turning out to be EVERY bad thing movies make it out to be and why is it that my parents INSIST on making it worse?

   Okay I don't want to sound like I'm complaining but I'm at my breaking point, and I think I'm gonna hurt someone or do some other stuff. I've done that before....

  First off, marching band has been hell. I don't even want to go there anymore. At this point I don't care if the band director fails me. I mean, like, the Senior Bass Clarinet player, who I have looked up to so much since day 1, has utterly degraded me and made me out to be worthless all the time. First of all, I have leg problems, and even though I had surgery they will never be completely okay, and the director said I can 'shortchange' the moves. And my senior idol, immediately puts me down for it. "oh, you're doing it wrong, you're walking too slow, now you're walking too fast, can't you do any of this right, don't you know how to turn right, youre doing it wrong!" And I took every single word he said to heart. After all he's the best one there how can he be wrong, RIGHT!? So finally I explained my problem to him, and he's gotten WORSE on me! I'm also super-ocd when it comes to lines and stuff, and so when my pal alyssa isn't there, I have to take up her spot and mine. I have apologized to him constantly for it. And today was pushed me almost over the age. I mean, I almost went home crying. See, we play the Bounty Hunter Theme from Advent Rising for a song in our half-time show. And alyssa wasn't there, so I went a bit OCD again. Cause it doesnt look right and it bothers me to no end. And plus, Adam, another band kid, was like, right up behind me, so I couldn't back up any farther. And Mister Senior Bass Clarinet, who I KNOW was wrong, bumps into me. Then, when we finished that movement and the director stopped things, he turns around and YELLS AT ME! "Listen! I'm sick of this!@ You turned wrong, can't you see that? Are you stupid? THERES TWO PEOPLE HERE. JUST CAUSE SHES GONE DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO SCREW UP ALL THE TIME. AND MAYBE IF YOU ACTUALLY LISTENED TO Mr. *omit* FOR ONCE YOUD BE USEFUL!"

and I'm like "I'm s-sorry.."

And he's like. "IF YOURE SORRY JUST FIX IT! DO SOMETHIGN RIGHT FOR ONCE!"

I almost started crying but for the sake of not making a scene I held it in.  And Geometry class is ALWAYS fun. I sit right near a total douchebag. and he's a mega-perv, that tries to make me LOOK like  mega-perv. And so he shouts out "Ew, kyle what the hell get your hand out of there!" And he grabbed my hand and pulled it towards his......area. I stomped on his foot of course, and then he just shouts. "Kyle wants all the boys to take their pants off, the perv".

I frickin' hate him so much. People laugh and point at me in the halls for god knows what reason. I'm constantly getting called worthless, especially since my friend audrey accidently Hit me in the eye today, and it really hurt, and now I'm not only a
"[Removed], idiot, fag, moron, worthless, [Removed]", I'm also a wimp. I understand, you have to put up with it., but the absolute worst thing happened today, in physics, first class of the morning. I almost burst into tears right then too. My closest friend EVER, (Who I mentioned earlier, but will not name again), sat with my in physics, see. Then, a bunch of girls call her over
"oh sit with us, don't waste your time with him! He's an idiot"
and she goes "Sorry kyle" and leaves. And I'm left all alone. Not a single person even offered for me to sit with them, and they just stared at me most of the class.

Oh and do you want a laugh?

Since appearently I'm not constantly checking out women, and have no reaction to breasts ( I seen a few movies with nudity and my ma happened to be in the room *Shrug*), but also don't bring in massive amounts of gay porn, my mother thinks im into BESTIALITY!
Doesn't help that she found some pictures I drew (not porn, but some anthros One with a open jacket so you seen his chest. Nothing majorly pornographic). But appearently I'm into bestiality. If my mom says so, it must be so, cause according to her, shes right 2000% of the time! Oh did I mention my dad decided not to talk to me for 4 days? Appearently I pissed off my mom by saying "I dont know" when she asked if my friend got to school on time (when she says she was asking if I got to school on time). I pissed her off today cause I asked if she could take me to school early for extra tutoring. Beleive me I did NOT hear the end of it on the way to school. Oh yeah, I was sitting with my friend Liza in physics last week. And this jerk in my class, says, (note Liza had a bad day, soooo yeah) "Oh liza, youre miserable with him I can see it, come over her. You don't need to suffer with him"

and I'm like. "Really andy? [Removed] you... okay, [Removed] you..." And he says "Oh look at her she's miserable with you can't you see it?"

OH and because of my 'attitude' which I do admit I give one, but only if you [Removed] give me one first, I don't care who you are. Anyways, cause of my 'attitude' I'm appearently gonna be banned from all music. And shes toldme on MORE than one occassion that she wishes she's never had me, and that she had a darling girl instead.

And I'm like "Excuse me for not being your [Removed] and actually having free will"

So yeah, I've been put through hell....and i'm being yelled at as I type this. Wonderful.


~ Watch your language. Partial censoring is not allowed.
~ Tezztor

[Ares the Ram]

Senior bass clarinet needs anger management. the director didnt intervene when he was yelling at you? youre better off not going I say. The geometry dude, if you explain the situation to your teacher, maybe you could switch seats? Everyone else? Forget them. I'm friends with 1 person from high school and thats because I knew him before. The rest are lower than you. You are better than them. You are a better person than any of them, no, all of them combined. As for your parents, Id reccomend getting a job and a roomate and get out of there asap, assuming youre old enough. if youre not, only thing I can think of is school counselor. Know that I, nor anyone else here will talk down to you. You are welcome here. We are your friends. I hope I helped.

[Self-sain]

Ummm, macid no offensive attended, but telling some one that they are better then every one else, is one of the worst thing. Yes I agree the way he describes them, they are useless excuse of a humanbeing, but still.

That pervert guy thing, that is sexual harassment. Most people forget that sexual harassment can be to the same sex, report it, if it continues and the school dose nothing, (make sure you get it in writing that you reported it) you then can threaten the school with a law suite for prolonged sexual harassment with out and actions.

The band thing, sorry, honestly I would quit, that some times is all you can do.

About the parents, I'm lucky I got a parent that understands, well I explained before hand, but I'm sure if I talked to my dad, he would be like that but worse, so I feel for you.

The Friends thing, I'm sorry, I kinda of know what you mean, you know what I say, heck with them, if they leave you when your all alone, the they aren't any kind of friend to being with. I'm alone at school, I have no friends, its lonely, but I'm not going to lie to myself, and let some, you know what, just treat me bad, just so I can lie to myself.

And about the people, I get called homesexual, emo, all that nonsense, I just say screw it, none of them will say it to my face, and none of them have any you know what's to do any thing about it.

I noticed you said wimp a lot, are you actually one, first that is a bad state of mind, thinking bad of your self, will only conflict with your self esteem further. What I meant is, your no good at physical conflict?


((P.S. sorry if this is bad but, if you don't want to report it to your school, next time that guy dose that to you, grab him where it hurts, see if he dose it again))

It helps if you talk to some one, I know what you mean with a lot of these things, so if you need to talk, sain is here for you

[Armalite_]

LOL senior clarinet player. xD

Dude, high school is a joke. Its a place where everyone poses as someone bigger than they really are to make an impression when really, they're just a bunch of dweebs and posers. Really all you have to do is be strong, expose them, and mock them for what they're doing to you when, really, they're in no position to be down talking you. I mean really. I wouldn't take any crap from some [removed] playing a clarinet. Sorry I find that humourous.

People in your school sound like they're looking for a fight and it's only because you're 13. Sad, I know. Really though man, words can hurt just as much as a fist. Throw it back in their faces.