Hey so well I was just sitting at my computer mindin my own business, when all of a sudden I got a sort of idea for a story,
so I opened notepad and began typing. I think it MIGHT have some potential and it's got me interested enough that I may continue it, but before I do that I want to see what other people think of what I've got so far.
Oh also I should tell you that it's sort of a horror type story, I'm not really sure what to class it as seeing as it's barely started but... yeah anyways here's what I have so far.
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Sweat poured down Tom's forehead, his skin pale with fear as he clutched the rusty crowbar knowing full well that it would be useless against the monstrosity that lumbered towards him.
He cursed softly to himself, Why did he have to come here? He should have stayed where it was safe.
But he knew...he knew he couldn't stay at the safehouse anymore, Not when the truth was still out there,
He just needed to find it.
An old lighting fixture flickered on, casting a dim light around a small area of the abandoned parking complex, as well as illuminating the creature that shambled ever closer. It was close now, too close for Tom to make a run for it.
Tom gripped the crowbar even tighter and examined the creature, looking for a possible weak point.
The Creature was tall, easily over 8 feet high. It's skin looked similar to a Humans except that it was charred and had large gashes in certain areas. It stared at Tom as it lumbered ever closer, the head tilted off to the side and it's jaw dropped as
though it had no muscle to keep it closed. The creatures arms were long and spindly and seemed very thin
compared to the rest of it's body. Up until the hands they seemed just like human arms and then they tapered of into what looked like a very sharp spike, Tom could only guess as to what the spikes were for, but he was sure it wasn't pleasant. The Legs were the last part of the creature Tom noticed, they were small at the waist and grew ever larger as they reached down to the floor, the creatures 'feet' were simply circular ends to the legs with flattened out bottoms.
But the creatures appearance was not what made it so horrifying, it was the smell.
Based on it's looks, one would assume that it smelled foul and rotten, instead it gave off the scent of fresh roses, this was probably used to lure unsuspecting prey to it.
The creature was standing right in front of Tom now, it leaned in close to him until it's face was nearly touching his. The smell was very strong now. Suddenly Tom began to feel his side tickling, out of the corner of his eye he could see one of the arms moving along his waist, it seemed to be searching for something. Almost as soon as Tom saw the arm it stopped moving and began to increase the pressure on the spot where it stopped.
Tom gritted his teeth, preparing for the pain when all of a sudden the parking complex was rocked by a large exterior explosion.
The creature drew back suddenly and looked around as though it had been startled.
Tom saw an opening and made his move, lunging forward he struck the creature hard in the face with the crowbar, it reeled from the impact and Tom took the opportunity to run for the exit. So he ran, and he didn't stop running until he had made it outside the complex and onto the street. He stopped for a moment then to catch his breath, as he did so he looked back at the ramp that led down into the parking complex, the creature didn't seem to be following him and infact it seemed to have left completely.
Tom breathed a sigh of relief, he needed to be more careful in the future, if he hadn't been saved by that explosion...
He looked around, hoping to see the cause of his salvation, but all that was there were ruined buildings and abandoned vehicles.
One thing caught his eye though, a speaker mounted on the side of a street lamp.
Ever since the outbreak last week, the devices had been popping up everywhere, no sound ever seemed to come from them though. at first he didn't pay any attention to them, but now he wondered if maybe they have something to do with the outbreak.
Suddenly a loud growling noise filled the air, Startled, Tom raised his crowbar and looked around, franticly
searching for what made the sound. It wasn't until he heard the noise again that he realised it was him. He hadn't eaten since he left the safehouse and he was now starving, apparently near death experiences really work up an appetite. He assured himself that he would ponder the meaning of the speakers after he had eaten, and set off down the street in search of food.
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And that's what I have so far, so what do you guys think? Should I keep going with it? or scrap it altogether.
If you think I should keep going with it, do you have any feedback that might help me improve it at all?
If you think I should scrap it, could you tell me why you think so?
Any feedback is greatly appreciated, thank you : )
Topic: Outbreak(possible story? need feedback) (Read 1349 times)