FURRY FRUSTRATION - A Rant

[Fawkes]

GRAWR! Anyone who has ever had to deal with a guy name Smegle will know what I mean.

I just introduced myself, and now he's yelling at me and saying all of these horrible things about the transgender and people who actually FEEL like the animal they are. He said I'm taking it too seriously, and that trans people are people with real issues who need to be cured and I shouldn't even talk about them.

I AM TRANSGENDER. I HAVE REALIZED THIS FOR A VERY LONG TIME NOW.

I get that not everyone on furry forums are fursuiters or yiffers, who just go to cons and role play online.

But what we CANNOT FORGET, is that there are people who take this VERY SERIOUSLY.

For myself, it means that this is part of who I am, and this is why I can't tell people CRAP about my life anymore because they always tell me "Oh, you're not this."

Like my uncle telling me I wasn't trans because I haven't had an operation, and that I'm not a lesbian because I'm too young to realize that.

I've been out for three years and in a relationship for the past year and a half.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to change you is the hardest thing of all."

I read this quote in this book about a psychiatrist who her herself was dealing with bipolar disorder, and in her introduction she said:

"I have no idea what the long-term effects of discussing such issues so openly will be on my personal life, but, whatever the consequences, they are bound to be better than continuing to be silent. I am tired of hiding, tired of misspent and knotted energies, tired of the hypocrisy, and tired of acting as though I have something to hide."

I have a lot of labels that fit me, and have my own problems and history, and this is something I face on a daily basis by my family and by my classmates. This dilemma that if I don't say anything about the things that bother me, I get yelled at and persecuted. But if I do say something, all of a sudden I'm the bad guy.

Now, I don't go raging into arguments, normally, unless someone REALLY pisses me off and they need an earful. I use "I" statements, and I try my hardest to keep my tone where it should be.

For now, I'm going to leave the FurAffinity forums, just let everyone vent their anger at me, and not do anything. Just walk away.

I am already limiting who I tell about being a furry, and so far it's just my supports from Gay Camp, my girlfriend and one other person who is very supportive.

I think what everyone seems to forget is that there are people out there who aren't the general stereotype, who actually consider themselves a furry who feels like the animal they are, who can be casually interested in sex without becoming the stereotype of a promiscuous pervert.

[anoni]

Eh, yeah.
Honestly, I don't understand why people hate other people for things that don't harm anyone. Even the furry fandom itself has a lot of continuing discrimination against certain people, no matter where you go, can you ever get a completely inclusive community? Well, if I ever say anything about myself and someone says "your not that" then I go "OH REALLY!? I didn't know that, thank you! Please, tell me more about myself, what's my favourite colour, what TV shows do I like? apparently you know a lot more about me than me so you should know these answers!"

I'm really sorry to hear all about this, but don't let them get to you. You know more than anyone about what you are, don't think that these people know more, no matter how much they like to act like they do. You must keep strong, know that you are what you are and that no one should be bothered by it. You do nothing to harm anyone and what's your business is your business. Some people will assume the worse, the people who are important to you and have some reason will change their opinions under the correct amount of evidence. They think the fandom is all about yiffing in a fursuit? Show them this site! Show them how they are wrong! For the people on the internet, that are too blind or trollish to really care about other evidence, they don't matter.

To quote a Dr. Suess Quote (often used)
  "Say what you feel, for those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter"

I hope all gets better for you Fawkes!

[MrRazot]

"In all things, a calm heart must prevail"
-Fawkes

[Luke White-Heart]

My mate gave me this GREAT quote. He said, "If it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, look beside you and you best friend will be there."

[Fawkes]

You guys are gonna make me cry :')

Thank you for the awesome support...I think I need to save those quotes somewhere. It's just so frustrating, and it's something I've dealt with my entire life. It just feels like sometimes just by breathing I'm pissing someone off. My entire life has been surrounded by people who don't do anything even when something is staring them in the face, asking for help. And when they try to talk about it, it just gets swept under the rug. I'm just tired of feeling like that. I'm tired of being silent.

I think this is going a lot deeper than it should. It's just a stupid internet argument, and I don't have to deal with it anymore.

"Listen to the MUSN'Ts child, Listen to the DON'Ts. Listen to the SHOULDN'Ts, the IMMPOSSIBLEs the WON'Ts. Listen to the NEVER HAVEs, then listen close to me -- ANYTHING can happen child, ANYTHING can be." - Shel Sylverstein.

[anoni]

I don't think you are taking things deeper than they should. Words are just words like bullets are just bullets. Bullets are harmless pieces of metal, they only get dangerous when they are pushed at high speeds, as words are harmless pieces of language, but get dangerous when we use them negatively. The point here is, from a first point of view a bullet seems harmless even though it is not and a word seems harmless even though it is not. Words hurt, they hurt a lot, whoever said "sticks and stones break my bones but words will never hurt me" was horribly mistaken.

  BUT you have a chance Fawkes, you have a chance to open up, to really voice your troubles. YOU SHOULD START A JOURNAL. I can not tell you how beneficial it can be, to just have your own little section of the forum where you type all your feelings, regardless of whether you think it's boring someone or you think it's over the top. Your journal is a place to post anything you want. It's a really good place to vent and a good place to really open up, it also lets us see more about you! It really helped me and a few other people I know, so maybe it will help you!

Lets just see the future

[Fawkes]

I've tried journals, and they don't really do me much justice if they're on paper. It's like talking to a wall. My psychologist also told me that not everyone likes journals because you can feel very stuck in them and get caught up in that emotion, especially since I have PTSD. My sketchbook works fine, usually, though I haven't really tried it. I have an "Angry Journal" that my mom gave me, but I haven't written in it mostly because I need to feel like I'm talking to someone about it rather than just writing it all down.

I've drawn pictures when I was angry, and it works well for me. I just wish my scanner wasn't broken so I could upload it all to deviantArt! I even drew my fursona, and I can't open it! It is maddening and infuriating.

I've started to paint a picture of my self portrait as a Red Fox. And right now, as I type, my wings are sore...I really do feel like they're protruding out of my back sometimes. It feels heavy and hurtful, and it always feels like that whenever I'm  upset.

I've tried blogging, but again, no one gives me feedback. It kinda sucks.

[MrRazot]

try the journal page in this site
you will always get feedback
particularly from Anoni

[Fawkes]

Thanks! I'll give it a try then 

[anoni]

Yeah, by journal I was referring to the journal on the website

[Coty]

For now, I'm going to leave the FurAffinity forums

There is a lot of hate on the FA forums. Ironically, most of it for things that are "too furry" so to speak. I get upset just watching all the rude comments get directed at OTHER people. I cant imagine having that negativity trained on me. People like that are not worth your time. Just keep on moving. A change of faces can work wonders.

Edit:

I found your intro post..... Those people are real f***ing a-holes. That entire board has a massive stick up its collective rectum about "coming out furry" They see it as some sort of personal attack. The fact of the matter remains- Being furry is seen as deviation. Deviation is usually kept secret. When something you enjoy is kept secret you eventually reveal it to those around you because it is nice to be open with people! PRESTO COMING OUT FURRY!!! I don't get why thy cant comprehend it.....
Not to mention everything else that was said there. Yeesh.

I am angry and I am not even the one who has been slighted. I feel for you and hope you find what you need to feel better......

I am now probably going to go start a flame war on FA and close my account out of principle.

[Fawkes]

That's another thing..you can't delete your account or ANY of the posts you have on there. Ugh.

But, I feel very, very at home here  And my mate has joined the forums! I feel like this is a place where I can just lay around and stretch my wings out without the fursecution.

You know what? FA Forums reminds me a lot of the /b/ section for FourChan. The whole "DO NOT POST ANYTHING FURRY." They're all like "EVEN THOUGH WE BELONG TO THE FANDOM WE ARE JUST HERE TO FURSECUTE OTHERS. BUT WE DO NOT USE THE WORD FURSECUTE, BECAUSE WE'RE TOO BIG OF PIOUS A-HOLES TO ADMIT THAT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WE'RE DOING."

[Bigieu]

One of the first things that become part of life later on is that people are going to view everything through the lens of their own bias, including you and including me. I've never met anyone truly open-minded in my life, just people coming from different angles with different things they will and won't put up with. It's not really worth fussing over until your right to live your life as you please under reasonable terms is violated, which is the fight to be worried about.

[[Sov]]

I just wanted to say this.

*hugs*

Because I think that it's a very courageous journey you're going on.

I, too, am a lesbian, and identify with my fursona on a deeper level. Sometimes I do things that are things my fursona would do and I don't even realize it. Considering I have two main fursonas (one a herbivore and one a carnivore) I sometimes find myself 'pawing' at the ground when I'm mad or bored. I growl at other things, and I yawn like a cat at other times. I just do these things, I don't realize it either.

So go you for standing strong. Keep strong. Keep forward. You know you best.