Barriers That Break

[Dr. Strange]

I have never thought so deeply about the barriers I tend to set up to keep out many people I know could help me. They do not interest me and iI bore easily of their maddeningly useless attempts at feigning sympathy to my problems or my situation. They are a constant annoyance and most of the time I leave before I must react in my usual way; screaming and ripping out my hair unsubstantial. I also tire of the games played to trick me into revealing my bizarre thought processes and I must say, it is a nuisance I would prefer not to bother with.

Alas, my sanity is slipping, as it must always when I need it most. These friends of mine, if they can be called such, are nothing more than my lonely attempts at normalcy. I just seem to not really need them around all that often... and it saddens me to realize they weren't really there for me to begin with. I have become a ghost of my former self; haunting the hallways of my youth, revisiting the sins I committed with still no explanation as to why, and generally making myself miserable on a daily/hourly basis. This chain of sorrow and hurtful resent is quite hard to break, I assure you...

My motives for action is this; I am no longer able to hide behind my cold facade, I must retreat to where I am safest and immunize myself to the tricks and take baby steps until I am assured I have done everything in my power to ready myself for the coming fallout, the world's reaction to my silly games. This boy I am infatuated with is my only weakness and for the sake of keeping secrets just that, I will refrain from saying his name or any of the names that belong to our associates. Everything I have worked so hard to protect is being left out in the open. I am beginning to understand why so many of the older artists preferred the solitude; this constant need for help from the madness is sickeningly familiar and I fear I will do something irreversible.

..... Recovering files 459218C, 6839241a for reconstruction. Continue? Y/N

Y

Downloading.....

....

Error occurred. Download aborted. Keysearch other data Y/N?

N

Aborting....

...

Mission aborted. Program detonate.

The files I wish to show you, the words I wish to share are corrupted, it seems. I must return to my archaic ways and site them by mouth....

[Dr. Strange]

I am deeply sorrowed by the fact that the kind of behavior I display is void where I am alone... No lies or false leads can hide that fact, if only they could look past the face of content to what's really there... Although I would guess it's human nature to assume things are all right, unless there are major signs. So sad to have come this far and have to turn back...

I have on idea where this is going... it's a random written thing that popped into my head..

[★Kuro★]

Hun, if that's a true story, then I'm seriously going to cry.....
But if that was for fun, I applaud you.
You really know how to dig your claws into the truth and show what lies underneath.
Truly moving, and definetely true about humans.

[Chrono Blackwyng]

I recently went through that moment in my life, so I kinda' understand where the poem is going.

Curse my lack of expressing all feelings grr

[Dr. Strange]

it's fine. Thanks for reading and commenting. Part of it is true while there is some lies mixed in. I don't know which is which though...

The world as I know it is falling apart at the seams, mixing with my fantasies, my nightmares. My dreams of a happy life with the ones I love, ha! They crash and burn around me, falling where I continue to stand, fighting to save the ones I know cannot handle the bold truth of my existence and will buck at the thought.. I am sorry I didn't realize it until now.. But now that much of the strife is over, I will release my death-grip on you... Go your way and know that I have tried to finish what I started...

A gunshot heard in the distance.