Memory Lane: My Awakening
The steel blade of hope slices through my awaiting skein, tearing the very fabric of my being. Blood pools onto the muddy tile floor, mending the cracks between plates, beautiful. My eyes burn with a thousand tears I cannot shed for fear of appearing weak. You make me feel so horrid and I still long for your touch. Your hands leave ugly marks on my body and I want that touch, that pain so intimately. These hands fall into my lap, empty and useless. My fingers clench and unclench in anger, tortured beyond help.
This helplessness makes me so depressed but I cannot reach out to someone else... I will not wish this pain on any other today. It is my job to carry this heavy burden on my tired shoulders every day to remember who I am. Time and again I stop to rest my sore legs then I must somehow climb to my feet and continue on, no matter how long I've gone without food or water. This is my punishment, for my sins. And, my friend, I do not mind this one bit. I only hope when I'm gone that you look back on how hard I work and love me for being strong when I was so weak.
I love you, my friend, and I don't want to lose you so I will stay as far from your heart as I can so that I keep you from being punished the same as I. Please, forgive my sins... I didn't mean any of the spiteful things I said to you... Just don't ever leave me...