Gender Violence

[Devon "[Aiwendil"]]

So, through my exploration of the interwebs, I read something about how it's fairly common (subjective truth) for women to hit men and even perhaps socially acceptable because men hitting women is hands down unacceptable.  Men should either walk away or take the beating "like a man".  Personally i find this sexist AF.  My question here is what is your opinion(s), dear reader(s), of whether it is ever acceptable for a man to hit a woman. 
A story:
When I was 19 and in the Army, I was casually dating a woman who was insecure.  She was 5'1", around 90 lbs at most and had Anemia.  Namely, that if i had hit her, she would have bruised so severely that it would have looked far worse than it was.  Well, we'd been out at a bar, i was sober, she was not.  A friend and his girlfriend drove us both back home.  She was in the backseat with me.  She was talking shit to me under her breath so only I could hear it about how I was looking at women on the streets and wanted them and blah blah blah.  She was obviously crazy but pulling over and kicking her out was not an option.  Needless to say, later that night, when she was home (at a bed and breakfast i put her in btw, because she was homeless and in need), she passed out.  i was dragging my stuff out of the place and she woke up.  I told her i was leaving.  Begging me not to go, i refused to listen to her.  She realized i would not listen and she straightened up and punched me square in the face.  i told her i would call the police.  Never was i tempted to hit her.  Not once.  For one, I was 5'11" (ten inches taller than her), and 150 lbs.  I weighed 60 lbs (27.22 KG) heavier.  Needless to say, i could have put her in the ground if i wanted to merely on weight and size alone.  Cops showed up, she claimed self defense.  I ended up being allowed to return to base.  Peers made fun of me saying "king got his ass kicked by a bitch" implying that he would have beat her up in return.  I disagreed.  I saw her once more but this was her sober.  She apologized. I left.  Never saw her again.


So to reiterate:  Why is it acceptable (to some) socially for women to hit men?  Disgusting.  I dont care how long we've been together, 20 minutes of 20 years; i dont care if we have children together or not, if you hit me at all in anger, i will leave you.  I will divorce you.  You will pay the consequences. 


I just want to know what the general opinion of people is in this topic.

https://www.quora.com/Why-can-women-hit-men-and-not-get-arrested

[anoni]

I think the Quora answer covers it pretty well tbh.

Factors for why it has become socially acceptable for a woman to hit a man and not the other way around was because of strength differences between men and women, historical social status of the woman (as being protected by the man) and historical injustices that women faced (legal to rape in marriage, women treated as property and so forth). All these combined create a stigma between a man assaulting a woman as very aggressive, it is seen as the stronger figure whose historically made several significant abuses among this weaker figure, hitting the weaker figure. That's the historical notion.

  Of course many of these are no longer the case, women are more empowered today and, in the eyes of the law, are treated equally. With social movements pledging for equity between the sexes, this notion that it's ok for women to hit men has been slowly becoming more and more taboo. So I think overall there is a movement that is suggesting it isn't ok to hit a man or a woman, it isn't ok to hit anyone.

  But these things take time to evolve! So at the moment we're in a transition period between what is and what isn't taboo.

  So that explains the historical context of why it was ok, a movement to try to make it ok and that we're currently transitioning from one viewpoint to another.

[Brigand]

Gender stereotypes mate. Vast majority will say that we're all equal, but many people believe that women are weaker. And hitting someone weaker than you is generally viewed as dishonorable. Can't really change their mentality.

I think that if she hits you first then you can hit her back. I'm all for equality. I got slapped a few times by women for saying something stupid, but it wasn't a punch in the face. If that would happen then she would get proper chinned.

I don't support calling the cops because of a fight, but that's a different topic and I don't want to start a shitstorm.

[Michen_S]

Oh hey, it's another one of those fun double standards I couldn't even understand if I tried my absolute best times two.
Seriously though, it's not okay to hit anyone like that. Of course I understand it if you hit someone out of self-defense, but then it's the situation and not the sex/gender/whatever of the person who is hit or that of the person who hit them.

[Captain Degenerate]

Lmao all I know is if anyone wants to act big they better be ready to play big.


I think it's more the view of a few really irritating females especially drunks as you stated in the story then the vast majority of both males and females.


Like I've seen some females who never got out of the high school mentality and think they can get drunk or just ass holeish and hit people without any repercussions but nowadays in my experience plenty of people have no problem hitting them then they get upset and start trying to cry and try and run the pity train and occasionally get some one to stand up for there pathetic ass but only because that dude is assuming he can get a quick screw and boost his ego not for any moral view that you shouldn't hit women.  The days of dudes caring about defending women no matter how bitchy are nearly gone and it's just something that drunken women or women who peaked in high school attempt every so often and occasionally it will work.


Oh and I wouldn't worry about what those dudes said they where prolly just teasing they know you could have probably killed her with you're bare hands.


As demonstrated here she gets knocked down and is trying to get pity for it but no one buys it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXxaYcvGvG4 

[Ventus Fall]

Hello again Devon

I would agree: The link you shared, it's overall "right".
Meaning: While we all want to see each other as equal, we are not. Women tend to physically be more 'weak', evolutionary. Which probably lead to societal norms, even still existing today.
Doesn't mean it is so that all women are weak, nor does it mean it's ok for them to hit men.

I just want to point out that you really seem like a good guy. You took care of her, and of others, and while you got treated badly you never once raised your own hand.
It's a sign you are strong. If you can get your point across without violence, you're showing a form of strength a lot of people don't have or don't know they have (or don't know how to use it).

I myself do notice it's become less and less acceptable for anyone to hit anyone else, regardless if they're male or female, and hitting the same or other gender.
At least around here.
Just keep doing what you're doing, you know you're the better person in the end.

[uhh]

It's a double-standard thing, I believe. It's not right for anyone to hit anyone unless they have too, but over the course of history, women have always been shown to be 'weaker' than the men. So, I think this translates into a literal sense whereas nowadays, if a man hits woman (even in self-defense) it's considered abuse but if a woman hits a man, it falls on the man for being 'weaker' than the woman.


It's fairly complicated. But gender stereotypes suck.

[Devon "[Aiwendil"]]

Hello again Devon

I would agree: The link you shared, it's overall "right".
Meaning: While we all want to see each other as equal, we are not. Women tend to physically be more 'weak', evolutionary. Which probably lead to societal norms, even still existing today.
Doesn't mean it is so that all women are weak, nor does it mean it's ok for them to hit men.

I just want to point out that you really seem like a good guy. You took care of her, and of others, and while you got treated badly you never once raised your own hand.
It's a sign you are strong. If you can get your point across without violence, you're showing a form of strength a lot of people don't have or don't know they have (or don't know how to use it).

I myself do notice it's become less and less acceptable for anyone to hit anyone else, regardless if they're male or female, and hitting the same or other gender.
At least around here.
Just keep doing what you're doing, you know you're the better person in the end.

I think perhaps a part of me did want to knock her out.  But another part of me (the part that always said to not hit women) kicked in.  Also, i was getting out in less than a month.  So, i really just wanted to leave.  I hate drama and stupid women who are a bag and a half of crazy.