I need help, please

[Lord Isscarus]

I've chose to be mute, or at least talk rarely or only when I have to. I'll explain why.

I never really paid attention to how my voice sounded, I never really cared or even gave thought to it back then, but when I heard my voice on a recording, my jaw dropped in sadness and disappointment, and then I started to cry.

I know what your thinking, "oh, a thread about hating your voice? Piss off you wimp and go make something else worth reading." Well then go read something worth reading and quit wasting your time by reading this post.

Anyway, I'm 14 years old, I'm tall and skinny and my face has very chiselled and angular features, so I look very attractive and older for my age, but what I hate is my own voice then everything else in the whole world.

It sounds high pitched, nasal, I can only hear an 11 year old speak every time I do it, I sound childish and girly, and it's starting to give me depression.

I know, I'm 14, I still have about 4-5 years of puberty left to go, I get it, my voice could mature, and even if it does I'm still going to get a voice that doesn't match my personality or appearance at all.

[Removed] When I'm talking to people at my school, I have a very deep and soothing voice, but when I'm talking to strangers or my friends, my voice all of a sudden switches from 18 to 10 years old nearly instantly, and it's really bugging me.

[Removed] I just stopped talking and became mute so I don't ever have to listen to that horrible voice ever again

I need help guys, seriously, if you have any ideas I'll take them, I just REALLY want my voice to be at least somewhat deep, please help me, please, I can't live like sounding like a high pitched preteen my whole life, I just can't..........

[MrRazot]

Hey again dude,


I actually also hate the sound of my own voice. I think everything you've said in regards to your voice works the same way for me.
Sometimes I realise that I sounded high pitch and stupid, then I try and repeat it to myself to see if it's what I thought I sounded like. I get a bit ashamed about how if I sounded like that. Thing is though, I'm never able to actually replicate it?
Maybe it's in my head. Maybe it's in your head?


Either way, I highly doubt you have the worst voice there is. I was always told that one day you talk high pitched and then it suddenly breaks? That never happened to me, but I know I certainly have a more grown up voice.


Don't give up dude. The thing about your voice is that everyone knows that's how you sound and they accept that as being normal. You don't say if you've ever been teased for how you sound, so perhaps it's not as big of an issue as you think.
Feel free to message me if you want to talk about this more


If you're really concerned about this, then try focus on where your voice is coming from. the top of your throat (higher pitch) vs the bottom (lower pitch). I'm sure there are tutorials online to sound more masculine if you think that would help.

[Lord Isscarus]

I know that breathing from the diaphragm makes your voice sound deeper and gives it a growl (,if you don't know what I mean listen to master cheif talk,)


But you often forget to breathe from the diaphragm and it's very forceful to maintain, so you often forget to breathe that way and go back to your normal way of speaking.


Any way of maintaining this? It's very hard, ifs like forcefully breathing, it's uncomfortable, distracting and hard to maintain.

[guest22811]

Ok now so this probably sounds like the most ridiculous thing ever but


I recently started wearing my collar more often and I tend to wear it tightly so that I feel slight pressure on my throat but not enough to choke me.
It unconsciously forces me to talk in a slightly deeper voice as it's more comfortable.
defs don't try it if you don't feel comfortable doing it though, this is just what I do.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0X3FVnONVWW
Here you go *cringes away*


You're 14 though (about my age) and many of the people my age have voices that haven't even broken yet. Just wait it out is the best advice I can give you.

[Ventus Fall]

Hello Darwin
Of course your voice sounds different to you than it does to others. This goes for everyone. Even (famous) YouTubers who use their voices to narrate something happening on their screens or telling a story. People on the radio and elsewhere using their voice so prominently have this issue as well. Some talk about it quite openly how they feel their voice doesn't seem to fit them, as it sounds different to them than when they listen back to it themselves.

I think my voice sounds extremely heavy/low-toned, nasal, annoying and 'crude'. It made me worry that people would think of me as a full-grown man rather than (at the time) a young girl/woman (which I physically am).
Speaking to a few people about it, especially those who have been around me for years, if not my whole lifetime, I found out that what I hear myself and what they are hearing is a matter of perspective.
I hear my voice in a much lower and louder tone than others, as my ears are right next to my throat, my vocal chords. It sounds distorted and odd compared to when a voice has traveled to reach other people's ears. Think of when you listen to a song on the radio or a performance of a band playing. If you listen more closely to it (as in distance) certain tones seem louder and different than when you listen to these things from a distance. It is the same with your own voice.

The other main point which has to do with the previous one: Since you have heard your own voice your whole life in a certain manner, when confronted how it actually sounds to others, it usually is extremely dissapointing to people. Whether realising it or not people expect to hear their voice in a certain way, usually the same way they have experienced it themselves. When hearing it, it doesn't seem to be 'their' voice.

I would much more suggest to get familiar with your own voice. From what it seems you have more an issue with it rather than your surrounding, so it could be -quite literally - 'between the ears'
You can, of course, always exercise to make your voice sound deeper or higher-pitched, but your voice might already sound deep or when growing up will become more deeper regardless (whether or not your voice breaks).
Although it is very likely you already have a rather deep voice (or will get a deeper one) than what you experience yourself.

Thus my suggestion, as stated before, is to familiarise yourself with your own voice. Get to know it, understand that what you hear is all subjective to you and those around you

[Ori]

Well you see. (Unless you heard your voice on like professional equipment) your voice will sound absolutely horrid to yourself. I've taken up an interest in singing before, and I heard my voice and I felt cringe so bad that I felt like a xenomporph (The alien from the movie alien) was trying to crawl out of my body. But trust me your voice shouldn't and probably doesn't sound as awful as you think it sounds. In fact there's equipment made just so you can actually hear your own voice like someone else would hear it.
Don't believe me?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1_Fh1uZ5-8
And don't worry too much about your voice. I mean, it's not as big of a deal as you think. And my father is in your situation. And god almighty. He was a real playboy if that's what you're worried about.
(Mods if you think I went a bit too far you may go ahead and remove that comment).

[Fable]

If you want to try and train your voice I suggest YouTUbe, you can find a lot of good videos there to help you train your voice. It won't be a quick overnight change but you can train your voice to be deeper.

[Brigand]

You're only 14, your voice will change naturally. Remember to sound more deep toned when talking to people, you'll get used to it eventually. You'll be fine.

[Albie]

I have a speech impediment, so I think I can add something here.  When I was young, like you are now, I used to get made fun of a lot because of my voice.  I was really sensitive on the subject.  I used to try to do permanent damage to my vocal box so I wouldn't have to speak.  I didn't have the will-power to just stop talking one day and I didn't want the school or my parents to throw me into therapy or something.  But I figured an "accident" would work.  But everything I found was temporary.


But then age happened.  I got older.  I still hate talking, but the people around me started to mature.  I got myself more confidence and that reflected in my voice.  To get over it faster, I started talking more.  I worked on just talking to people.  Now I do tech support, so when at work, I talk through most of my day.  Got me over the fear of talking.  I still avoid it if I can, but I am no longer highly sensitive with my voice.


So, be aware when you are talking.  Rather than listen to your voice and be ashamed of how you are talking, try to learn why you are talking like that to strangers instead of your friends.  When you become aware of the reasoning, you have the power to change it.  So eventually when you talk to strangers there will be a tick in your mind guiding your speech.

[Captain Degenerate]

Everyone hates there own voice actually it's a combination of recordings the average person would use being low quality and not sounding exactly as you actually sound and the lack of reverberations in your inner ear caused by your head. Believe me no one else notices it dont worry .


I can only describe my voice as that of a drunken teenager who slurs his words half the time but no one cares lmao because people always hear your recording voice so it doesnt sound alien to them.

[Lord Isscarus]

Oh my gosh, I almost forgot I'm still going through puberty, I'm only 14!


I may be having a growth spurt, in the last couple weeks I've grown an inch, and my voice is fluctuating, most of the time it just sounds average or high pitched all day, but now it's going from high pitched to uber deep to average in the time span of hours.


Im probably going through a growth spurt, my family told me I should be having my peak growth spurts around 15-16, I may be having mine early, who knows?

[Albie]

Yeah, puberty is different for everyone.  Some people go through it pretty quick.  Others seem to take a few years to get through everything and all the changes.