While at work yesterday, I had an interesting and reassuring thought. This doesn't happen very often, and it seems like a very important thing to take into account after a relationship ends, especially if the person you loved left you for somebody else or got involved with somebody else shortly after the breakup.
I'm sure many of us have experienced this before: the one you love ends up with somebody else, and you think about all the things the two of you did together—all the wonderful things they did for you; with you; to you; the gifts they gave you that were yours and yours alone... And they now belong to somebody else. The mere thought of the one you loved doing any of these things with that other person is sickening, heart-wrenching. You want to push those thoughts out of your mind, but they just keep coming back. You feel alone, betrayed, and replaced. Even worthless.
It's ok to feel these things, of course. It's only natural to experience them after a breakup, especially if it involves your partner going to another person. But the scenario I just described, in which they are giving away the gifts that were once yours... It works both ways. Never forget about all the gifts you gave to them. The way you made them smile and laugh when they were stuck in the deepest pits of despair; the way you held their hand while you walked that told them you were ready to face the world together; the way you took them out on dates and made them forget about everything else in the world; the way you held them that made them feel just perfectly comfortable and content, as if they could stay that way forever; the way you looked into their eyes that positively mesmerized them—made them sigh with a mixture of admiration and awe; the way you kissed them that drove them absolutely wild with desire, so that every thought in their mind was replaced with a single, determined statement: "I want you."
They gave all this up when they left. They'll no longer get to smile at the sound of your voice, or feel the gentle squeeze of your hand, or spend wonderful days basking in the presence that is uniquely yours. They won't get to snuggle into your loving embrace, or count the speckles in your eyes as they drift off into a trance just inches in front of your face. They'll never again experience that surge of passion that ran through their very being as you kissed them, or feel your special touch that can be found in nobody else.
They may get similar gifts from others. But yours are unique. Nobody else will ever give them the same experiences, feelings, and sensations that you gave them. And they may not even notice, or care for the longest time. But at some point, somewhere down the line, they'll remember. They'll think back to the wonderful times they shared with you, and somewhere, even if it's just in the tiniest, darkest corners of their heart... They'll miss it. No matter who they end up with, or where they are in life, they will look back on these memories with fondness and nostalgia—but also a hint of regret. For one tiny moment, they will wish they were there in your arms again.
But even more important is that these gifts... These amazing things that can only come from you—All these things that you did with them; for them; to them—are yours to give to whom you choose, and who will not only appreciate them for what they truly are, but happily return your love with gifts of their own—gifts that are uniquely theirs to give as well.
The point is that you are special. You are unique. And you have amazing things to offer to those who deserve them. No matter how terrible, hopeless, lonely, or worthless you feel after a breakup, I hope that you'll find reassurance in this truth. Because it really is true. You may not believe it at first, or even for a long time... But it is true. And even if you don't believe it, you'll find others who will.
Topic: They left you for another? Here's one way to think about it. (Read 337 times)