ROCORO: The story of the greatest!

[Rocoro T. Pup]

ROCORO
The Story of the Greatest

Aaaaauuughhhhhuuughh.

WHO ARE YOU? Oh! It's the forum users! Hello there, peasants! I'm so glad you dropped into this thread to hear of the great tale of Rocoro. Who be Rocoro? I be Rocoro! The great, the majestic, the... SEXY.


I have only just arrived here on the Furry Forums, and I enjoy this place so much that I have decided to take it as my home! And you, guests and users, shall be my slaves! Before I demand you to prepare me a feast of royal General Tso chicken and Speghetti O's, it is time to tell you the story of my current life. So sit... LISTEN. That is a direct order from your Commander in Fun!

Who am I?

Listen close my little birdies. This is the face of power, prosperity, and all your sexual desires. You are looking at the face of true power, and true beauty. You are looking at a very classy, and very knowledgeable dhole. What's a dhole, you may ask? Google it; I'm not an encyclopedia.

Now that you know how rewarding it is to be in the presence of The Most Classy and Knowledgable Dhole In Dhole-Kind, you may be asking yourself: "What kind of wisdom do you have to share?", or "How can I be a massive and dicking good sucess such as yourself?"

SILENCE! You are not here to listen to my wisdom. You are hear to honor ME! ROCORO, KING OF KINGS. Instead of telling you my advice, I shall critisize your existence while laughing at your lives because, well shoot, it's not in the forum rules.

(Is it? I don't think so.)

I am truly blessed to be among such a diverse and accepting community of furs!

Wait... NO I'M NOT. I hate all of you and you're all worthless! You tread on my lawn, throw toilet paper at my mansion, and complain about the weather! You're all just a lot of filthy humans! I am the true master of this domain!

You do not follow the words of the Gospel, therefore, you are all sinners and yiffers.

NO, I won't participate in the fortification of yiffing... at least not until I'm married to my super-hot vixen girlfriend who totally exists. Beastality is frowned upon by that certain someone up in the clouds. You know who I'm taking about: our savior ODIN.

Traditional furry values are paramount to restoring order in the United States or something like that. And Odin up there obviously thinks yiffing is a sin. If furryism is not restricted to awkward conventions, then the Earth held by the tree Yggdrasil and the branch Urðarbrunnr will plunge America into Mímisbrunnr!!

Duh.


Let me begin by stating that I am exceedingly brilliant. I graduated from high school at the age of nine, entering Smartsville University upon hitting puberty, and becoming a professor at the Furtopia Institute at age 16, lecturing those the properties of the "tantalizing" equation... MY equation to being cunning and quick-witted. When I retired at age 25, I walked out to doors to an array of flashing cameras and furries holding microphones to my lips. They all begged for the answer of what I would do with the rest of my "life".

My "life" overshadows your mundane routine between your dissolving relationship with your nagging fiance and the frustrating atmosphere at the office in every way imaginable. My life is FAR more worthy. I am known for making an ungodly amount of cash from my trillion dollar stock-trading empire. I sit at the end of a massive thirty person table, though I never use it to seat thirty people. Instead, I make those who enter my office believe that I really do have thirty investors who would sit here but don't, and you gasp upon this and applaud to how brilliant I am.

I live in my massive, luxurious estate on the freaking MOON. Every morning, I awaken to a row of well-dressed servants: those who do my every command, and some of which are there just to kiss the ground I walk on. But I do not pay them in cash, they are paid through knowledge. Their payment of servitude is simply for me to tell them that they're all worthless, and that I am a true gifted pioneer for humanity's push towards a dawning era of endless pleasure, and they all weep with joy upon hearing these words escape my lips and continue to clean my lunar manor around the clock for weeks, smiling as they do so. I then depart on my space rocket towards our mother-earth to purchase another vast number of stocks for my Fortune 500 company, laughing at flat-broke investors begging for change as I pass them by in my two story limousine.

Please click on this link to commence dramatic music as you read this inspirational text below.


Rocoros_National_Anthem.wav


Rocoro seeks adventure!! He's so adventurous... but not the bold type of adventure. No, more like the careless and kind of not-worth-the-time adventure. He's into the type of adventure that you'd rather put off, but realize that there's nothing on TV, and the Xbox is running an upgrade, so you might as well.

I will be tame around you common folk, but if you accuse me of wrongdoings, I shall be obligated to deny such accusations! Hhmph! If you claim that it was I who forgot to do the laundry, then surely it was one of my servants' faults because I do not wash my own clothes. And 'tis not I who produced that foul smelling oder in the back seat of the car, for he who smelt it, dealt it.

So fie, fie on you who critisize the blessings of Rocoro, KING OF KINGS. I bite my thumb at thee! And it is so... SO very nice to meet you. Now get the hell out and stop staring at my ass. I'm changing.

In your face,

Master Sir Dr. Rocoro the Dhole,

Attorney at Law, Heavy Weight Champion of the World, His Excellency, President for Life, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the Forums of Furries on the Internet in general and thefurryforum.com in particular, M.D., V.S.A.,  D.P.

 

P.S. I really hope I don't get banned for this. It is the random thread after all, yes? And 'tis not a joke? Think twice moderators, for banning the almighty Rocoro from your website shall result on unwanted doom!

P.P.S. Okay, that last part was a bit harsh. I'm not saying "unwanted doom" like in the form of a curse, or something. All I mean is like, a rant or a little annoyance. I can become that annoying dog that barks in the middle of the night!

P.P.P.S. Moderators... please. I beg of you!!! It's the peasants fault for my rage! Ban them! I think you need some persuasion. Would George Washington want an innocent furry to be banned? How about Abraham Lincoln or Andrew Jackson. Ahhh... but surely Benjamin Franklin would think twice about it, RIGHT? How about 50 Benjamin Franklin's?

P.P.P.P.S. Aaaaauuughhhhhuuughh.