Incredibly Stressed

[Aakosir]

I've been in an incredibly hard situation for the past two years now and it's getting worse. Two years ago I had to move back in with my mom because my ex, who I was married to at the time, was not able to re inlist. I am incredibly lucky that I was able to move back in with her and had plans of moving back out once my ex found a good job and same for myself. But our relationship had been falling apart since day one... We never really knew each other and I thought he would grow up and start taking care of his family, especially since we have two girls together. Well... After we moved back he was jobless for three months and was barely trying, all the while he slept and played video games ALL day every day. He slept till I kicked him out of bed at noon then was on his computer almost immediately. Never helped me with the kids and never helped clean or do laundry. I think I got a job before him and I was pregnant at the time!

So after a while I got fed up with it and kicked him out. He took everything for granted and was a selfish jerk. IS a selfish jerk! He has absolutely no work ethic and could care less about getting a good job. 2012 was a horrible year. I kicked him out in the beginning and was trying to work with only one babysitter because he told me he would not babysit the kids anymore. They are his kids! He is the biological father and he would not watch them so I could work! Didn't pay child support either! And the only time he ever took them was on the rare occasion when his mom and sister wanted to see them... I tried to work it out with him off and on through the summer, through other stressful crap, but he was still the same lazy jerk. Finally I realized he is never going to change and after his millionth chance I filed for divorce.

Well... That one stress is out of my life, kind of, but now my brother and his wife are being pieces of work... My brother has a career and is making at least 40k a year. His wife made 20k last year as a server. Yet they bitch and complain about never having any money. Maybe if he had not bought that huge flatscreen or $1k bow they would have money. And she is to blame too! With her $400 Frye boots and $800 laptop and manicures and pedicures every week. They have not had to buy food for the past two years since I stock the house. They constantly go out and eat and drink, I'm sure the drinks cost more than the food, yet they complain about how they have no money and are trying to get a house... They have NEVER had to pay rent anywhere and only have their phone bill and car bills to deal with. Electric and heat and food is all paid for... And now they are complaining that they can only get $40k for a home loan. They do not have a down payment and all of their credit cards are maxed out... Um... How have they not figured this shit out!?

Meanwhile, I've lost my job because my boss is a sexist prick and threatened to fire me and my boyfriend because our work has been effected. Yea right! He only sat down and talked to me about it. Didn't say anything to my boyfriend. My boyfriend has been there for 10 years... So it was rather clear that I was going to be fired because I've only been there 6 months, therefore I am a lot easier to replace than a shift leader, which is what my boyfriend is. So I took the fall and am now jobless with bills piling up and a credit card that is almost maxed out... Oh, but I was supposed to stay working there and let them fire me so I could go and sue them, says my brother. We actually got in to a fight about it... I am 22 years old. And here he is telling me what to do. Like that is going to go over well! The manager already had his ass covered because he would come up with some other bullshit reason as to why I was fired. He's done this shit before! And he's gotten away with it before too!

Ugh! I'm just so pissed and stressed at this whole thing! Especially my brother! They act like they have it so hard yet they are the cause of ALL of their problems! It really hurts me how they act and just ignore everyone who has real problems. Yea, I know there are others who have worse problems than me, which is why I do not constantly bitch and complain about my problems, but lately I've been under WAY too much stress and here is the result... And I have a bill due in 4 days which I am really stressing about because I have no clue when I will get a job...

I've applied at 6 places... I've heard nothing yet. So now I get to call and ask if anyone has seen my application. The website said they were hiring!

[Bayzan]

Wow... I... I don't know how to help, nor say about this. Yeah I'm 15 and got my whole life ahead of me. But this... Reading this, just shows me what most young adults are going through everyday. I can't begin to understand what you're going through. Looking for a job to pay the bills, handling the constant whining of your brother and his wife, and probably some other things that you didn't mention here.

All I can possibly tell you, is I thank you for opening my eyes to the true reality. I also hope that things get better on your behalf. Just hope that you get atleast one or two jobs of those six that you applied for.

[Aakosir]

It's funny, I've been getting in to a few discussions with my friends about how school has sheltered us from "the real world". Thinking back we were not prepared at all! Some people still are not prepared (like my brother). I honestly think there should be budgeting classes in school. I think Home EC was something like that, but I never took it since the main description was sewing and cooking, which I'm alright at. But it's rough! After graduation you're basically tossed off in to this foreign place. And depending on your parents it is sometimes better, sometimes worse.

[Bayzan]

Funny thing about this is. It's later on down the road that you realize that you haven't been properly prepared. I think the schools should stop treating us like mushrooms (keeping us in the dark and feeding us shit) and say, "Hey! It's this and this that you're gonna need. Not this or that? This right here!". But my question is... Why are they hiding the most important things from us? Is it cause they're afraid of scaring us or is it something else?

[Aakosir]

I honestly think it has a lot to do with parents. There are a lot of parents who have a "how dare you teach my kids that" mind set. It is similar to sex ed, I think. We have to get a permission slip signed for sex ed classes in middle school. School are always afraid of stepping on a parent's toes. The parents have every right to help teach their kids what they do not learn in school, but a lot of the time they are too busy or just do not think about it. My parents did a good job of teaching us responsibility and common sense, but, like with my brother, it does not stick. And his wife obviously was not taught responsibility like we were.

[Draco Vertolgr]

so Im not rly sure wht I can do except help vent rly. like bayzan im also 15 years old but Ive seen your situation before though. My Mom had 5 kids;me, my cousin, and 3 brothers. My oldest bro David was mixed up in drugs and had serious anger probs, Rob was..well Rob, Danny had a prick attitude like the world should be handed to him and my cousin was doing well, and me a kinda depressed but doing fine-ish now child. which was alot of stress on her

but my father was a real piece of work. To this day I cant stand him. He sounded alot like your ex LAZY. He Drank, Smoked pot and played video games all day and repeated it and had no job. My mom eventually did what any sane person would do and divorced his ass.

But she also lost her job shortly after so she had alot of trouble finding a job and struggled to take care of all us. She helped my brother get through his drug habbit and now hes a successfull artist, shes got my cousin through med-school, and got my Danny and Rob in college.

She met my step father and hes been an amazing help as well. Now her only issue is dealing with me lol.

shes not out yet but shes doing verywell and things are 110% better on her.

I guess what Im trying to say is you can do it. Im not exactly sure firsthand whts it like to be going through something like this but I know you can do it. I know the world can be hard but a true test of your character and who you are as a person is how you deal with your situation and make best of it and eventually reach your goals.

Im not sure if it counts but I can relate to going through hard times (not as hard as this though I think) Im dealing with depression right now which hasnt been an issue for the last 2 or 3 weeks but a few months ago I was on the edge of taking my life because I lost my mate and still miss him dearly.

I hope this helps I rly do, I hate hearing or seeing the probloms people go through and being powerless to help them.


If you ever need to vent or talk to someone just shoot me a pm or something. Like I said again I HOPE this helps and things workout for you

[Aakosir]

Thanks. It does make me feel better that there are people who understand and realize that I don't want their pity, just simply need an outlet and if they understand, even better! I've had situational depression for a while, which is understandable for anyone who goes through hard times, but I don't like medicine. I forget it half the time so it never works correctly and is doing more harm than good. Depression, anxiety and stress are no fun no matter what the cause.

My boyfriend has been a great help. I feel bad since we can only hang out here or at his house, but it's so nice having his company and knowing that he cares and supports me. Even with the issue of my brother and his wife, since he has worked with both of them. He knows them pretty well and provides a very fair point of view, which happens to be in line with mine and my mom's. And he's not just sucking up.