Re: Looking for friends

[Thedrake]

Hello


Since the older topic is closed, I open another one about it.


so... I still don't feel able to find a group... still lost... nothing really changed in me...

[anoni]

You need to look in places you don't normally look. You have to be confident, you have to be nice and friendly to people. Some people may already have a bad impression, maybe see if there is a furmeet nearby and see if you can meet some friends there. Just be nice, friendly and happy. It takes time for to figure out where you belong, but you got to keep on searching and never give up hope.

*Hugs* You'll be ok, it will take time. You just have to be willing to do something about it, which might speed up the process. Hope all goes well.

[Thedrake]

You need to look in places you don't normally look. 

What do you mean? o.o

you have to be nice and friendly to people.

I'm always like that. Always.

Some people may already have a bad impression

but how...?

maybe see if there is a furmeet nearby and see if you can meet some friends there.

I did... 1... 2... 3...... heh, I haven't enough fingers to count. For a whole year, I only did furmeets again and again, in all the corners of the France, and even in Belgium! ((I live at the south of the France, so far!)) I always moved to meet people, going to furmeets and even seeing a good amount of furs in their home. However, I always asked, none asked me to see me irl once...

Just be nice, friendly and happy.

Done, done, and done.

It takes time for to figure out where you belong, but you got to keep on searching and never give up hope.

*Hugs* You'll be ok, it will take time. You just have to be willing to do something about it, which might speed up the process. Hope all goes well.

it's hard... I keep looking for it since almost 3 years, so how long it will take yet...? and how to speed up the process...?

[Dirtcopter77]

Find a group and stick with them if they seem like nice people. Assuming they're willing to tolerate you, you'll be friends before you know it. Aside from that, there are no real "tactics" to making friends. Just be nice.

[Thedrake]

But I'm always nice! Or at least try to be!

And... being months and months with a group like that knowing there are other who find their group of friends even faster than me... it's despairing...

[anoni]

Places you don't normally look means exactly that.
Go to something you wouldn't ordinarily look at, maybe not a furmeet, maybe say, if your interest in video games, join a gaming club, if you're interested in technology, see if there's a place for that. Maybe go to clubs or something, who knows

Also, just because someone doesn't ask to meet you in real life doesn't mean they don't like you, often asking to meet someone in real life can be a nervous experience, some people just don't want to ask it because they don't know how you'd react to that. Either way, the main thing is also, you don't belong "instantly". There is no group that you associate with and instantly think "this is the one". No, it takes time, it takes commitment. Sure, you may have to drag some people by the arm to go out with you the first couple of weeks, but sooner or later, they'll start to like you and, sooner or later, will start become really, really good friends with you. To be a good friend you need to have trust, you need to know about each other and you need to feel comfortable with each other and all those things take time. So it takes a while, but if you stick to one group of people, the people you like most, and dedicate yourself to them and going out to them, you might find you actually belong.

  Hope that helps

[Thedrake]

but how long it take can...?

[anoni]

I can't give you a definite answer to that. It's different for everyone under any situation.

[Thedrake]

because I tried since so much time... I can't just wait now... being next to a group without being include for a long while... ._.

[anoni]

Sometimes you have to ask, kind of get in there be CONFIDENT. Show them that you are fun, don't wait for them to come to you go to them

[Thedrake]

how do I ask...?

[anoni]

Well again, it's different for everyone.
But usually, just show them that you are confident. Just go up to them and say, "Hey, lets go out" if they so no, say "but it'll be fuuuuun " and try to convince them. If they keep saying no, then you'll have to try again, but don't give up on the first no, keep at it. Show them you're confident and strong.

[Thedrake]

I already tried something like that in a chat... I got a advertisement for that...

[anoni]

That's not being confident TheDrake.
You have to be confident, you have stop asking "how" you have to stop asking "why" you have to stop coming up with reasons why it won't work, you have to just DO IT. You can do it, you have to just be confident, go out there and not doubt yourself, not doubt your method and just try!

[Thedrake]

...
I'm sorry... I'm really scared of the no... >.<