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Author Topic: help in love  (Read 376 times)

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Offline MinxKitty

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help in love
« on: November 14, 2011, 01:54:39 AM »
So, I've been with plenty of people in the past, and I was sure I knew what love was.. But this is so much stronger than anything I've ever felt before! I can honestly say I've never felt like this about anyone ever! I've loved this guy for a year, and its only recently that I've been able to tell him because he had a girlfriend, and then I had a boyfriend.. We've been seeing eachother for about a month, and officially together for just over 2 weeks now.. Feels like SO much longer though... So no problems right?
Well, not officially... Its just that I'm SO worried about losing him! I've just talked for the first time, and it made me feel slightly better, so I thought I'd post on here in the hope of calming my paranoia completely..
How do I tell him exactly how strongly I feel? Is it clingy to say how much I miss him and that I want to be with him forever? What if he doesn't feel the same? What if I scare him off by saying everything!
Its so hard to believe that I'm actually with him, and yet so hard to think that we've only been together a short time because I've loved him for so long! I'm completely ready to move in together and I really don't want to waste time taking things slow.. And I know I sound crazy saying that, but I can honestly see myself marrying this guy and spending the rest of my life with him!!
What do I do? Do I keep all my feeling to myself, or do I tell him? I feel crazy and like if I say anything he's going to leave me, is this normal and just love.. I feel so new to this all, like this is my first relationship, but its not.. I'm so scared "/
Thanks for reading, any advice would be appreciated x
Just a cute lil kitty completely in love, but lacking any true friends :3 x

Offline ___

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Re: help in love
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2011, 02:01:35 AM »
Don't go and elope just yet. xD
Take it from me, the best thing you can do right now is take it slow, and don't worry about losing him unless he gives you reason to worry. Not clingy at all, if you enjoy his company and don't take it too far (Stalker-ishly far) then its a good thing (Why go out with someone you can't stand? xD)

 I don't know what else to say that would be helpful in this situation, but if he's the guy you're gonna spend your life with, NOTHING should scare him away. (Gross fact: Told my guy my bum smelled like tacos, and he's like "Really? Mine's too! :D")

Offline Vine Tabris

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Re: help in love
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2011, 02:59:24 AM »
Well, as much as you don't want to, you'll have to take it slow if you really want a lasting relationship.
You might want to marry him, but it's not really up to you alone, it has to be a mutual thing, and he might not be ready for something like that.
If you like him as much as you say you do, then the best thing to do would be to try to keep your emotions in check until you're absolutely sure that he feels just as strongly about you, and by the sounds of it, it doesn't seem like you're all that sure about his feelings towards you yet. 2 weeks is far too early to be moving in or anything along those lines. Moving too fast is the cause for many divorces and pre-mature break-ups. Plus, if you feel that strongly about him this early, it'll just be that much more of a let-down if he breaks-up early.
It's early in the relationship, just have fun, keep it loose, and don't expect anything too serious yet, that way you won't be left crushed if it turns out you guys aren't as compatible as you though you were. Once you know that he feels as strongly for you as you do for him, then you can talk about going to the next level.

Offline Vee Katame: His Wolfy

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Re: help in love
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2011, 03:04:31 AM »
If you've known him for over a year, I don't think the way you feel is too "out there".
I knew Shinzuu (my boyfriend) for a little over two years before we started dating, and I had very strong feelings for most of those two years. (Apparently, he didn't think my feelings toward him were serious and that's why we didn't date sooner, but that's beside the point.) It wasn't very long into our relationship before I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
Also, I'm naturally kind of clingy in a way. I like to be with him as much as I can, even though I know we need to have our "me times". And I worry about losing him all the time even though he always promises he will never leave me.
So it's understandable for you to feel that way, in my opinion.

I lucked out. Shinzuu had strong feelings for me from the beginning of our relationship too, so we were only a couple months or so into our relationship when he asked me to marry him (not an official, "got down on one knee" proposal, but it was a sincere one) and we've been together for almost four years now (and still planning to get married once we get things sorted out).
Maybe you'll be that fortunate too. Tell him how you feel. Don't be like, "I WANT TO MARRY YOU NOW!" but just say something to the effect of "I hope our relationship lasts a long time." Test the waters with hints of your stronger feelings to see how he reacts. As the other two have said, take things slow or at least at a moderate pace. Don't jump right into the wedding planning.

I know it's scary to express one's feelings when you're worried about someone not feeling as strongly as you, believe me. I really hope things work out for you though. :)
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Offline MinxKitty

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Re: help in love
« Reply #4 on: November 14, 2011, 03:29:32 PM »
Thanks guys..  I'm not stupid enough to beg him to marry me or anything right now lmfao..  :3...  Its all good..  I'm feeling a lot better today, after actually talking about it to people online :3.  Thank you for reading
MK
xx
Just a cute lil kitty completely in love, but lacking any true friends :3 x

Offline Vee Katame: His Wolfy

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Re: help in love
« Reply #5 on: November 15, 2011, 12:30:48 AM »
I know you're not that stupid. :P
I do what I can. ;)
I'm glad you're feeling better. :)
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