relation advice

[icy wolf]

ok so iam sort of in a relation with a yax, hes a furry and a friend, we have done some "stuff" that can be said as " master and pet relation ". i dont want to leave him... i love him, and i dont want the relation to end even if the "stuff" ( cant really say what it is here) we do sometimes ends.

so now heres the problem, theres this girl at my collage who i think likes me and i have said this to my parents, they keep asking me about her, and i think they are oblivous to my relation with yax ( or what we some times do) . i dont know what to do, i dont even know if it for sure that she likes me. do i ingore what i fell for her or lissen to it ? and if some dose happen with me and that girl at school, how do i tell yax? if the relation with him ends and he dosnt even want to see me after ( unlikely ) i would be very depressed. 

i know he had some one leave him befor and he has told me about it, he sounds depressed when he told me. the persion who left dosnt even want to see him never mind even talk. if i had to leave i would still want to talk and see him even if we didnt do "stuff".

yax dose know that my parents are some what crazy especilay my mom, she keeps asking me about finding a wife, getting married and giveing her a grandchild.

any one know what i can do ?

[ArcticSkyWolf]

do your parents know your true sexual orientation?

does anyone else know your true sexual orientation?

do you think your parents are going to be mad or whatever if they find out about your orientation?

[icy wolf]

do your parents know your true sexual orientation?

No they dont, like ive said befor here, i told them i wasnt str8 and they think iam str8 still.

does anyone else know your true sexual orientation?

yes, yax dose, my furfrends and a few non furs who i meet at an lqbtq meet.

do you think your parents are going to be mad or whatever if they find out about your orientation?

yes

[Døvu]

Ill tell you right now, end one physical relationship before starting another. Follow your heart; if you love yax, give him and him alone your love. If you love the girl from school, give it  all to her. I thought I loved someone and knew they loved me too...but I guess she also "loved" two other guys at the same time. Dont become her in this situation, it causes a lot of pain, commit your loved wholeheartedly to one person. IF you are unsure if you love (or even like in the girl's case) either of them, spend harmless time with both until you know for sure. And it's only natural to be concerned about Yax's feelings too if you decide on the girl...its not an easy thing to do. I would just start to break things to him slowly, and tell him that any and all feelings for him have not and never will change.


Our expectations from our parents are tough and put some pressure on us, but your mom doesnt mean to cause harm because she doesnt know your situation, and if she knew she would understand (and no she doesnt need to know, thats completely up to you). If you find love she will be just as happy for you.

[icy wolf]

yes, but i love him to much to do that to him, i know and he has told me he wont date firends so where not mates, but close firends who have done some stuff. like i said befor i dont even know if she likes me. so i dont want to end the relation with him, iam to loyal, to submisvie to do that. i know he would be deprssed but he has told me befor as long as i still see him, talk to him, go places with him, he would still be happy, i would be happy if it was the other way around.  all though i think she likes me i havent been showing her the same reaction. i dont even know if yax knows i have these fellings for him.  like ive said befor  he dosnt want to date firends and i repect that, i have had experance befor where we ive dated a firend and things went wrong and now i dont even talk to her ( allthough there where other factors ) besides the girl isnt a citizen of canada, shes from some where else so iam assuimeing that she will be going back after school is over. as for my parents theor well most of my family are homofobes .... hertosexual realtions only. ive told yax about my crazy family and he agrees with me, hes told me about his crazy parents they dont know about it, yet he thinks they might its kind of hard to explain.

[Vee Katame: His Wolfy]

(Starting off with a side note: I'd suggest using the term "friends with benefits". It's less typing. Heh.)

If you don't mind never having a serious relationship (since Yax has made it clear to you that he won't date friends), then go ahead and stay with Yax. Just be prepared for the possibility of him getting in a real relationship and cutting off the "benefits" part of the friendship.
Though I honestly don't understand how someone can get in a serious relationship WITHOUT being friends first, but to each his own.

And even though it is hard (believe me, I know how hard it is), you might want to ask the girl if she likes you before making any decision. There would be no sense in "leaving" Yax if this girl didn't actually like you.

Yes, Yax's feelings matter, but no one should ever be stuck in any kind of relationship because they're afraid of hurting the other person's feelings. Your feelings and desires matter too.

In the end, it's all up to you though. No one can make this decision for you.

[icy wolf]

yes, i dont mind a serious relation, and iam fine if the " befits " do get cut off.when or if he dose find some one . maybe its just some thing to do with depression right now, just the thought that he or every one would leave me or stop talking to me, or even wanting to see me for some reason.

[Vee Katame: His Wolfy]

but he has told me befor as long as i still see him, talk to him, go places with him, he would still be happy

Doesn't this mean that he wouldn't leave you or stop talking to you completely, as long as you still spend some time with him/give him some of your attention?

[icy wolf]

yeah, i guess so.

[ArcticSkyWolf]

Well you have to tell your parents eventually because they will bug you about your partner for like ever. Or let them fins out some other way,  but since you think your parents will get mad,  then o say in this situatipn,  stay with whoever you want. If your parents ask,  say your no interested in a partner yett,  say your too busy with work.  That excuse helped a few in the past with this type of situation.

[icy wolf]

yeah i guess so.

Post Merge: November 07, 2011, 03:24:32 AMbut its not that eaey