the ultimate standstill

[Kaprika]

(i did my best to where i think this should go. if its wrong, please move it.)
 
say you are in love. but not JUST in love, but completely and tottaly attached..and its not just ONE person!
say there are two men/women that you just cannot live without..the sheer idea of choosing just one breaks your heart and the idea of them ever being with another just kills you. youve known them both for a long time and they both love you dearly. youve been very close to them both and have a strong bond.
 
you have to choose one..how do you approach this? what process do you go through..how do you pick? HOW do you choose just one and let the other go?
 
not sayin this is something thats happening to me. it was just a question for discussion i thought of, cause i have something similar happening in my book and i sorta wanna know what OTHERS would do

[Rhett (Twister)]

Thats actually quite interesting o.o


I think what I would do is seduce them both slowly into a polyamorous relationship >w>

[[Sov]]

What kind of situation is this? A poly relationship or friendships that have moved beyond that with both with no serious commitment? I think the situation would sway my answer.

[White Wolf Guardian]

Well if you can't choose either one, eventually they both find out about the other and then it's over with both of them, so personally I would flip a coin probably, letting chance decide for me since it's too difficult to choose by reason.

[Kaprika]

What kind of situation is this? A poly relationship or friendships that have moved beyond that with both with no serious commitment? I think the situation would sway my answer.

 
its two friends..and youve fallen in love with BOTH..and they BOTH are madly in love with you as well. and at one time or another youve had intimate moments with them both (seperately of course)
 
and they both know about the other. its not a secret.

[Rhett (Twister)]

Well how is their relationship with each other? Because that plays a big part too.

[White Wolf Guardian]

Then... if they both know about each other, what's the point in choosing if you can all just stay together? Marriage only provides tax benefits and looks great on laminated paper o.o?

[Kaprika]

well. your scenario could be different but specificaly in MY scenario (in my book)
they are three good friends. one is homophobic and neither of them really believe in poligomy..so having them BOTH isnt really a choice
 
 

[[Sov]]

As heartbreaking as it would be for myself, and for them, possibly...I would personally have to distance myself from both of them, essentially breaking contact and do some serious soul searching. It would kill me, and I would probably leave it to fate, because I'm a sucker and believe in that.

[White Wolf Guardian]

But then the character puts themselves in a paradox situation, "I cannot live without both of them" but "I have to live with only one of them based upon the other two", one is homophobic so he can't work with the other person in the relationship, however the other person might. The issue being that polygamy is not within their norm whereas the main character I take it does want polygamy? Either way I agree with Katayida ultimately here, if you cannot have a solution with one person, then it can't work with either of them.

[WingedZephyr]

I feel it's important to note that polygamy and polyamory are two different things.

I don't know how much you know about polyamory, but I'd recommend all three of you researching it before you decide it isn't for you. The aversion to it that you and/or your two friends feel may just be due to a lack of knowledge on the subject. Because society puts so much pressure on people toward monogamy, it's easy to think you're against anything else, but not fair to say so until you fully understand what exactly polyamory entails.

That being said, I suggest you be as honest and open as possible with both of your friends so that you guys can together figure out the best solution to your problem. Honesty is key, and so far it sounds like you're doing fairly well at that, if they both know about each other and the situation.

If you do come to the conclusion that you must be forced to choose one, you have to decide based on what's best for you. Momentarily ignore whatever pleading they may or may not be doing and the possibility that one will be hurt. Just focus on who is better for you in your life. Who makes you happy, who can take care of you, who can respect you, who you can trust, and who you can count on. Write out a list of pros and cons about each of them if you have to. Forcing yourself to be logical is the best way for you to think through the feelings that can be overwhelming at times.

[Vine Tabris]

Would this book happen to be Twilight?

[Kaprika]

lol NOT TWILIGHT.
 
i said my OWN book.
the main character falls in love with a man..and a little later when she is together with the other she falls for him to.
 
both the males have had feelings for her for a very long time
 
 
@ WZ: this isnt something real. its a fantasy scenario, thats why i didnt put it in the advice thread

[White Wolf Guardian]

Right but what WZ suggested could work as a solution for your characters o.o;

It's a nice alternative to polygamy rawr.

[Kaprika]

what is it that YOU think you would do though??
 
thats the origional question that ive been imposing