I don't know what to do anymore..

[✡]

Senior year is by far the most stressful year of high school yet. I've been working my hardest to get those good grades so that I can move out of my parents house by the end of the school year. But unfortunately the universe has different plans for me. Let's just say that no matter how hard I work, I'm just not making good grades...
My parents consider grades to be extremely important and they literally base their love on grades. That's how it's always worked. The particular sibling (i.e. My brother or I) who is doing bad at the time gets treated like the reject of the family. Unfortunately this person usually happens to be me. My parents are quite fond of talking behind my back to the rest of the family...I even got a call from my cousin saying my mother had been bad-mouthing me to my relatives. My parents also told me that if I don't make good enough grades, they won't send me to college and I'm not allowed to live in their house anymore. September 1, 2012 is the day I have to be out by, whether I have an apartment or not.
I don't know what to do...i really am trying my hardest but no matter how good I do i'm still screwed...

[WingedZephyr]

Consider finding a tutor, if you don't have one already. If you need help improving your grades - ask for it. Teachers are even willing to help most of the time if you ask them nicely.

[x]

Well, school must be easier for me or something because I'm getting good grades very easily. Just show up, do the homework, study for the test. But maybe they put a lot more on your back there, idk.
 
Anyway, I'm in the same position. I have to graduate with good grades or I'm getting kicked out of the house. And they aren't even going to pay for my college either way, so you're rather lucky that they'll pay if you get good grades.
 
I wouldn't put up with the badmouthing though, tell your parents that you're an adult now and they need to stop and treat you like one. Also, I agree that a tutor is useful if you're struggling.

[[Sov]]

What do they consider to be "good grades" anyway?

[✡]

Honor roll..high honor roll

[[Sov]]

Wow dude. That really sucks. 

Is there any way that you can have a sit down conversation with your parents about this? Acting maturely will, and should help you out of this bind. If not then I would start looking into scholarship programs, and see what you can do for college. If you are willing to take on the student loans, or can take on the student loans yourself, then you can go that route. Or you can try to get scholarships or grants to help you get through college. That's what I'm having to do until I'm able to get my loans professed. Grants are a little easier to get, IMO, because of the vast types of them, but they can also be a small dollar amount. Barely enough to get you through a semester let alone through a 4 year university. What I'm getting at is, try to reason with your parents, and then research your options anyway.

[Døvu]

if ur taking hard classes and not making the best grades thats okay. im a senior as well and all my years so far ive kept a 3.2 average...not that impressive, but i can write a good college essay and can do well on SAT's and such. What im trying to say is that colleges dont just look at grades, especially if they see that ur taking hard classes, or are going for honor roll. If you apply to places, and show ur parents your acceptance letters, im sure they wont say "no we wont send you."

[icy wolf]

your parents are taking the wrong atporch to this. talk to them and let them know that your doing your hardest. try to find a tuttor, a teacher or a friend that is good in the area you need help with, you tube can be grate way to find help on any subject. iam not sure how the highschools in the US work, but in Canada or at least Ontario there are 2 levels for most courses, they teach the same stuff just one goes slower then the other. if you have this then see about taking those class.

[ArcticSkyWolf]

my parents are like this too, if I do bad in math, they tell EVERYONEEEEEEEEEE. Then my dad bashes me for my horrible math. It's basically hell after they see the report card for about a month.

My math is bad, as in high school math. I mean, I know my basic math like add, sub, multiply, divide, powers, BEDMAS, stuff like that. It's just that I can't do stuff like equations with several terms, it gets messy and confusing but so far I'm doing well this year.

I also took computer science and realistically you don't need ANY high school math for it, AT ALL. I hand coded my HTML about me site using notepad++ with ease, simple 250+ lines of code. Then made a more complex one with pop-up images with 400 lines of code. it might sound a lot but it's not. Most of it is text.

Either way, I hate how grades are everything. This school year is important but the next is even more important, and so on.

[✡]

UPDATE: well things have managed to get worse, my parents now officially consider me a lost cause and want to force me to live at home next year and take some major that I'm not the least bit interested in. Let's just say living at home is not an option, I'm barely keeping myself from going insane living at home now and the only reason I haven't moved out yet (the age for living alone in Colorado is 17) is because I don't have a roommate to help me pay the bills.
I'm definitely not good enough for the university I want to apply to, I'm expecting a rejection letter around Christmas. I'll never be successful at anything..

[Sigcutio]

Senior year is definitely a stressful year. I just graduated from high school this year so I know what you're going through. It's definitely tough, but you cannot put yourself down like that. If you expect to fail then you may end up doing just that. However, try looking at things from a different perspective. What if you can get better grades? What if you can get accepted into that college you're shooting for? If there's a will then there's definitely a way. High schools always have a large support group you can look to for any help for classes. Even the teachers should be willing to help. Either way you're definitely not in this alone. Just ask; teachers and tutors are there for a reason after all. 

[icy wolf]

why not try for collage then? or a poprgeam that is smiller to that one. have you tried looking for a tuttor ?

[mulchardude]

they literally base their love on grades.

Doesn't sound like love to me...

My parents are quite fond of talking behind my back to the rest of the family...I even got a call from my cousin saying my mother had been bad-mouthing me to my relatives.

Have you called them on this?  That's not cool behavior.  Sure, they may be worried for you and whatnot, but they're not dealing with it properly - hurting you and holding you back instead of helping.  They're bullies.

My parents also told me that if I don't make good enough grades, they won't send me to college and I'm not allowed to live in their house anymore. September 1, 2012 is the day I have to be out by, whether I have an apartment or not.

my parents now officially consider me a lost cause and want to force me to live at home next year and take some major that I'm not the least bit interested in.

They can't even make up their minds.  They give you a move-out date, and now are keeping you there...

This is pretty much exactly what happened to me.  I left with my lover, to my dad screaming and chasing me, then pounding violently on the car window.  Before I had the opportunity to move out, I pretty much just half-dealt with it, hiding inside myself.  He could ground me to or *from* my room, restrict my activities, take my bedroom door, and say all sorts of demeaning bs, but he couldn't take that secret place inside me. 

I ended up stronger and getting better grades because I started *ignoring* him, doing things for myself instead of just because he wanted me to.  And I kept doing things behind his back to make myself succeed *in spite* of him.  I felt guilty for being 'a bad kid' and 'rebellious', but that wasn't really the case - I was defending myself.

Be your own person - you don't have control of that house or the resources they provide you, and they're holding that over you...so you have to try for their sake only to get what they're calling love.  But look for opportunities, find someone you can move out with, someone who'll give you a chance to get a job so you can help support from that point forward.

And pick schools and career directions you want to, and can.  You aren't worthless.  You've got interests and related abilities.  And when you're on your own, you'll probably be able to get financial aid, and you can always go to local colleges to find a good path - at least here, you get advisement before you register for any classes, so no charge - with the hope of getting you *into* classes.

And who knows.  For me personally, I'm creative and independant.  I probably should have gone the fine art route, but instead aimed for Graphic Design due to all the businessy career-based thinking that was being pushed at me.  Anyway.  It's *your* future, *your* choice.

You're a good person, and *nobody* is without skills.  You've just got to get past all this discouragement to find your strengths.  Else you'll end up thinking you can't to better than food service all your life, and I know people like that - they're miserable.  And they *are* capable of more, they just don't have confidence.

Sorry about the long rant, but situations like this hit too close to home.  I wish you the best of luck, but most of all - make yourself strong.
 

[Midnight Madness]

Drake, Mulchardude hit every point perfectly. You should really understand that by saying you won't amount to anything means you're empowering their bullying; which this would be defined as. Believing what they say only gives them the gusto to do it again, because even if you don't try to, you display your willingness to accept their insults as reality.


You're a human being, therefore you are given a choice to live how you please. Do you want to believe their belligerence? Do you want to accept their insults? Do you want to be treated poorly? I certainly hope none of your answers are yes, because after several discussions with you, I know for a fact that you are a happy go lucky person deep down. It's just buried under heaps of their derogatory statements and all the other crap you've had to deal with.


I live with a bully also; my Grandfather. He shows no faith in my abilities and mocks me daily. He treats me like an imbecile and never allows me my personal preference in doing things. It's his way or the highway, and that's hardly an exaggeration. He thinks I'm crazy for being different, and he considers me a hostile and belligerent person. He pins all his faults on others, and makes insensitive jokes. Know how I deal with it? I know who I am and what I'm good at, and I don't let other people convince me otherwise. Sometimes, being stubborn is a perfect way to survive. I've had more than my fair share of people wonder why I'm not depressed or into bad things; those people include every counselor I've had since moving here.


Drake, look at how many people are willing to chat with you. How many people who want to bring you up and suggest options. Look at how much fun you have when in a non-judgmental place. Grades are moot; so what if you're not an amazing 4.0 average student? Am I? No. In fact, I technically never attended a Junior High and just got set in a freshman class; only to flunk it and pass only three classes. But compare that to what I'm doing now; I am passing every class with at least a B, and will be going off to college, part time for free, in January. But get this; my Grandpa still treats me like I'm incapable. Does that mean I am? Not in the slightest. I am myself, not how some bigot sees me.


Keep trying, look at your options, do what you can; have you considered alternative manners of education? That's what I'm doing. I have a class I can do at my own pace, as it is an online class. I found out about it by talking to others about my options. Drake, look around; you WILL find something when you do. I know you, and you're no failure. You're a good guy with a good heart, just forget the haters. Like they say, haters gonna hate. And the haters can even be the ones you love.


Live for you, not for anyone else.

[✡]

thanks for the advice guys I'm trying my best to ignore the bullying and I am trying my best on my grades. i'm looking into alternative living conditions if worst comes to worst next year