So, today while I was in Ohio, I was on FaceBook on my computer and stuff, waiting for my boyfriend to message me.
He had gone camping Thursday and I hadn't talked to him since Wednesday. So I was really eager to talk to him.
I knew he was there so I messaged him and got no response.
So, while I was in the car, I was ranting about it to my friend Chuck. [Nekoforlife]
And Alex [My mate] messaged me saying he was sorry for not messaging because he was busy.
So, I was like fine whatever.
So, then we started to talk about some personal stuff like when I was suicidal and stuff. [don't worry, I'm done with it]
I said something like, "I felt like no one noticed me" and he said "I noticed you." And I said, "Well, it didn't really seem like it when we first started dating."
And he said that he was young and uncomfortable and the time. And said "Well, sometimes it still feels that way." He said he was sorry and didn't mean it. And that I was the most important thing to him. And then I said "If I'm so important why are you never at things that are important in my life? Like my birthday dinner, my karate promotion, that fricking dance I asked you to and you said you didn't want to go AFTER you said you would! You always seem to be "busy" and then I find out you did nothing!" He said he was sorry and that he'd try harder and stuff like that. He was begging me not to leave him the whole time. I was really pissed cause it's been building up and I finally burst. I told him I don't know what else to do.
He told me he'd try harder and be there for me and such. He said I was the most important thing in his life and he didn't want to loose me.
After I was done being angry, I felt soooo bad. I could never yell at some one like that, let alone my mate!
I said I was sorry and that I felt bad. He said it was okay and that I just needed to let it out.
I'm really glad he didn't get pissed at me. I was afraid he would.
I still feel AWFUL about the whole thing, I don't know what to do to make it up to him?
I don't know if I should? What should I do?
Our relationship is okay, it actually feels like it's better but I still feel just terrible about this whole thing.
We've been dating for a year and 5 months, so a little fight shouldn't ruin it. But I just hate feeling like this.
I hate being angry at him.
Any advice to what I should do to make it up?