What a load of...

[Aoren Deringer]

Well, ok, so I have some generalized ranting I have to get off of my chest.

First off, I kind of sabotaged a good relatioship (Damn!)

Most of my IRL firends are idiots, and for some reason one of them doesent believe a word anyone says which gets really iritating.

Nobody I know is online at the moment of writing >.< Can't help that.

I feel so... angry when I get up in the morning. Half the time I want to jam a Ka-bar through the head of most of the people around me. Make that all of the time. I have issues, I suppose (although until recently I thought everybody was as angry as me) 'cuz I'm beyond mad all the time, about most everything.

I can't sleep.

My headphones are broken

Theres no smiley for !

I’m dirt poor and can’t do anything about it.

Most of the people around me seem to find me irredeemably dim. Lovely.

I have a single mother who hates me being a furry and demands I don’t even acknowledge the fandom’s existence, then never shuts up about it and seems to think everything I’m interested in is furry-related. So now I go on here in secret, and feel all deceitful.

It looks like one of my better friends is going to be locked up in a juvenile facility for being a klepto.

I hate lying, yet I do it on a daily basis to appease people.  Mostly acting ‘Christian’ and ‘religious’ when I am so totally atheist it’s not even funny.

I feel run down, to the point that I don’t even get up in the mornings.

I’m bored with everything. Most all activities that used to entertain me (Watching TV, gaming, reading, etc.) seems mundane to me.

I barely eat, I exercise (I even do wall push-ups in the shower! ) yet I don’t lose any weight, I’d like to get back to a size 34.

I’ve developed many new vices (not narcotics) drinking, volting, etc. none of which I am proud of.

I don’t know anyone who suffers said vices, so I’m alone in it. G R E A T .

I barely eat anymore… Food just seems bland.

I feel bad about laying all of this onto you people (then again, I do need to put it out there somehow)

I’m a perfectionist… I do things and then I can’t stand them, I find a single issue and then it’s disgusting to me. And it’s only in my own work… Nothing is good enough, and I mean nothing.

People seem to get a good laugh out of my negative qualities- why, I’ll never know.

I’m not too sure I have any positive qualities, to be honest.

I hear things… A high-pitched, ever present ringing… (Tinnitus).

I want psychoactive medication, but am denied it

Actually the reasoning behind the medication… I’m kind of a junky, I suppose, in my way. I’m constantly loathing life, and I figure denying my brain the chemicals that cause ‘anger’ may help me out. In order to avoid this nasty conversation, I’ve told people I am depressed. I don’t actually think I am… I mean, that’s waayyy too strong a term… And I don’t want to suicide

Sorry to lay all of this on ‘ya people, I just needed an outlet…

[Nrein]

And that's exactly what this is for, letting it out!
This kind of stuff really helps.
Sorry for all your mishaps though =/

[Aoren Deringer]

Yea, well, thanks mate.

[Lumi]

i haven't told my parents about my furriness, i think they don't need to know since it has no impact on my behavior.
We all have out off days, before i met my girlfriend my life was a lonely and dark. No one to hold close when i felt sad, no one to share my feelings with, it was terrible.
I'm slowly getting better thou i still do get really really depressed sometimes thinking back on it.

my tip would be, try to find someone to talk to, someone you can trust. letting that out of your system 

[Aoren Deringer]

Yea... About that... I don't talk to people much, in fear of saying something I'll regret... Unfortunately I do get into some err... 'heated arguments' and would prefer to keep physical aspects out of it. I come gifted at being naturally tall and well filled-out, and unfortunatly I do damage, and would prefer to keep out of that. (I have ended up beating people down who I actually like, and I don't like beating people down... That and I'm a sore loser, which scares me more. Sad to think that I don't know how I'd react if I lost in a conflict... I honestly have no idea. One idea is that things would get bad).

Relationship wise. Refer to rant # 1.

[Lumi]

Hmm... well how about hobby of some sorts, beside the exercising?

[Aoren Deringer]

Eh, maybe...
I have been looking into getting a guitar.

[✡]

there's nothing you can do but sucker down and go through it, we're always here for you, you should know that everywhere there will always be someone who is there for you. things happen, but the world's always a-changin', for better or for worse.