Mom Drama...

[ZeTigre]

I'm having mom drama. She is going out with this doctor dude and she's been spending our weekends together with this guy. My mom works every other weekend. She gets together with him at least 3 times a week. It makes me feel left out. She never wants to hang out with me anymore, and now whenever I'm at a friends house she's always late picking me up!! I told her how I feel about him but she wants me to see a counselor. I kind of want to but also I don't want to. What do I do about my mom drama????? HELP!!

[Ketsuna]

You could see a family counselor, someone who would consult with both you and your mother and help you both better communicate how you feel.  Also, you could try hanging out with your mom and her new boyfriend, it'll either scare the guy away or get you all closer together.

[Righteousbro]

I sorta understand, I have both mom and dad so I don't know how it feels specifically, but I do know how it feels to be left out kinda. Well anyway, there's not much to do, and if your mom is truly happy with him you shouldn't want to ruin it for your own selfish desire. I understand how things can get but still, if she's happy you shouldn't want that to end. Now of course with this situation your not happy though. So just wait, its just like teen love sometimes, it gets through this time of them spending as much possible time together, then if there still together at all when its over it kinda quiets down usually. Of course being shut away has temporary workarounds to, a counselor or psychiatrist could help with this problem to. My advice is to try being less timid if thats a problem, I know whenever something similar happens to me I kinda shut up about it and just ignore it for a bit, but if you explain this to your mom she may try to find a way to get it to work. Don't say, "I don't like this guy..." or anything just because she spends a lot of time with him, say your happy she's happy but you want to make sure she can spend time with you. Hope I helped. And as previously mentioned hanging out with the two of them (if they'll even let you) can help.

[AirRaiser]

Here's a good question you need to think about. How long do you expect to continue living with your mom? If you expect to move out at some point in your life, look at it from her point of view. You leave, she's alone. Everyone needs a companion. Just like you have your friends, and will probably date people, your mom needs that too. You claim it's YOUR time with her, well what about HER time? You said you have told her your feelings about him, have you ever met the guy spent time with him? Or did you just make a judgment based on a one sided story? Maybe what you need to do is go meet the guy, spend some time with him, see what he's like. You never know you might like him. He might be perfect for you and your mom. Maybe he's not. You'll never know, but keep an open mind. And if your mom really likes him, she'll also want to see how he interacts with you, just be polite and see what happens.

As for seeing a counselor, maybe you should. It's a good way to just get your feelings out on the table with out anyone judging you. It's confidential, if you say so they will not say anything to your mom. But it might help give you a safe place.

Seeing how your mom probably has been out of the dating world for a bit, she's probably a bit rusty with the who time concept. If she continues to date she'll get better at it. Just keep in mind the world wont come to an end if she's late. If she's REALLY late in picking you up, give her another call, just as a reminder and to make sure she's okay. Now is the perfect time to show responsibility, show your mom your growing up, you never know what will happen.

And as always before you go making judgments try to see the whole picture, it might be way bigger then you think.

[juut]

I think you should just try to ride it out.
As I read your post, I understand that they haven't been together overly long? That would mean they are at the moment, in love. With time, that will fade and change into either just loving each other or realizing they don't fit together. In both cases, your mum will remember there is more in live than the guy she is in love with and you'll be back in the picture.

Try to be there when they spend the weekend together, even if you just read a book in the same room as them. Both you and the guy get a chance to get used to each other and perhaps you'll see you actually like him, or can at least accept him as a part of life.


The councilor could be a good idea, especially if you go together. Sometimes things need to be said out loud to someone not involved in the problem for a solution to show itself. It would also show your mum you are serious about missing her, rather than this being teenaged drama.