Counting to 1,000,000

[Ara Av-Toa]

148,974
Uuhh...
Sorry. I don't have a single clue, unless it's demonic.

[Brisky]

148,975

I don't want to be your average "self proclaimed psychologist"...

But it quite obviously does seem like your're, for some external reason, just quite simply not feeling safe and/or comfortable in your appartament.

Now take the next part with a bloody grain of salt because I know absolutely nothing about your life and am not trained / educated for doing this.

But it sounds to me that you dont consider it as "your territory".

The most logical reasons to why you would feel like that there could be because you dont know and therefore dont trust your neighbours that well, Or just that appartement buildings are pretty crowded places in general, and that you just dont like all these people you dont know and trust walking around the place where you sleep. Especially since you're alone there,  you could feel like you dont have anyone to back you up incase a threat presents itself. Or you might feel like your appartement isn't safe enough, as in, that someone could easily break in.

But most likely a combination of all of this...

You would simply feel like the place "doesn't belong to you" and that someone could burst in your door anytime.

Obviously I'm not saying anything for you, rather I'm just stating something that I think could be the problem, and you should take a look at if this is true by yourself.

The symptoms of that would be:

-avoiding interaction with your neighbours.
-dont like being seen entering / leaving your apartement.
-keeping the blinds/ curtains closed where ever you feel like people could peek in.
-keeping the place overly tide / cleaned.

Does that feel like what's going on?

[Ara Av-Toa]

148,976


Yunno, that might indeed be the case.
But I suppose Cheza knows best...?

[Brisky]

148,977

That's litterally what I said in the post.

[EDIT] Hangon, it dissapeared...

[EDIT] It's back...

[Ara Av-Toa]

148,978


Oh. Looks like Cheza's offline right now.
Or at least inactive.
At least here.

[Brisky]

148,979

I'm starting to want some food but dont feel like I should leave in the middle of this whole deal...

[Cheza]

148,980


Most likely a combination of some of those things, as well as potentially a few other things.
I guess it all boils down to me having this feeling that if something were to happen when I'm alone there's absolutely nothing I'd be able to do about it, (and especially not if I'm asleep).
Which is actually true, not only for me, but virtually pretty much every other human being in existence.
So I shouldn't spend so much time letting that bother me.


I should, however, try to figure out some way to work on that non-existant self-confidence of mine... >->

[Brisky]

148,981

Actually, no.

You should absolutely bother with it and figure out a way to solve the problem, if you know what the cause is. (and again, reconsider what it is!)

First of all, I'd suggest you keep a working phone with emergency number within reach at all time. Knowing you can call the cops at any time should (SHOULD, depends on where you live) comfort you a little. Especially if you know how these guy's (SHOULD) do their job.
Remember you (SHOULD) have the posibility of dialing the emergency number and then tossing the phone away, and the operators can hear what is wrong and track it's location.

Another good way of getting rid of this is getting to know your neighbours.

Doesn't have to be much. If you just know who they are, what they do, and that they're (hopefully) reasonable people that will call the police, and come checking if they hear screaming coming from an appartement nearby, you'll feel a lot more comfortable!

Speaking about screaming.
If something happends, remember you can just scream for help. Even if noone's is gonna help you, in a crowded apartement building it'll likely scare off anyone.

And there's always changing your mindset...
Insteading thinking that your place is a risky envirement because people might break & enter to steal your stuff, or worse, think that it's your territory and that you're gunna mess anyone who dares enter it, up with a kitchen knife...

Taking a Ju Jitsu class WILL help.

And specifically Ju jitsu, because it's a form of UC that's not limited to being "fair play".
Ju jitsu will teach you the "dirty tricks" as well, just for those pesky muggers and such...

 

[Cheza]

148,982


Yeah, I know it's all a matter of "if stuff happens" rather than "when stuff happens", since I think my chances of getting hit by a car when walking to the grocery store are a lot higher than that of someone actually bothering to try and break in here.
Which is a comforting thought in its own twisted morbid way.


And yeah, my phone is usually close by, and I know the emergency number, but seeing as I have no idea how I'd react in a bad situation, it's kinda hard to find comfort in that.
If I -do- things like I'm supposed to tho, I guess things should be fine.


My neighbors seem to be reasonable.
I remember back when I had first moved here and somehow managed to forget my keys in the lock.
Someone was nice enough to just put them through the mail slot.
They also helped some other neighbor get an ambulance + police after there'd been a pretty loud fight.
I'm sure that they'd do that for anyone, if for no other reason than to regain their peace and quiet.
Which is good.


As for me trying to put up a fight, my best bet would be if the intruder ended up collapsing from laughter, as I'm fairly certain most people would be far bigger and stronger than me.
I also kinda doubt any form of self defence classes would really help all that much for that reason, but they do supposedly help with confidence, so there would be that at least.


And like mentioned earlier, I doubt bad stuff would actually happen, so I'd be a lot better off just trying to calm down and getting myself to realize I'll be just fine on my own.
After all, I've managed quite ok for these past few years, so I should be just fine at least.
For some reason, my brain just seem to have decided that it's fun to have me worrying about stuff like this for no reason.


Really appreciating all the help and suggestions tho, as already just talking through these weird things makes me feel a bit better.

[George]

148983
Funky how that works sometimes.

[HellEye]

148,984

Apparently I was supposed to get offended? Had to leave for a bit is all

[Michen_S]

148,985

Hi there.

[HellEye]

148,986

Hello kitty!

[George]

148,987



I love Hello Kitty sweets.

[HellEye]

148,988

Okay, didn't see that one coming.