I can't gauge this...

[Nobi]

Thinking back, it's hard to tell precisely when this problem of mine developed. But I have this tendency to get really sad, worried, depressed, panicky, anxious, etc when I really want/need to talk to somebody in particular, but can't. Especially when they're far away. In the past, I have tried repeatedly to contact certain people to no avail, slipping into prolonged panic/anxiety attacks in the process. It has led to the people in question becoming frustrated with me, feeling uncomfortable, and has even been one of several deciding factors that led to the end of a 2 1/2 year relationship.

When it comes to people I care deeply about, I tend to worry so much... I want to know that they're ok, and I want the comfort of hearing from them. In the past, the people in question have been far away, and often in situations that made me uncomfortable to think about. And with the one who ended our relationship... she eventually told me that she cheated. And for all I know, it could have happened during the time I was trying to contact her.

With people that I'm especially fond of, who simply make me very happy when I talk to them, I just seem to feel sad when I'm not speaking to them. I can easily occupy myself with other things like work, school, drawing, reading, the internet, etc. But when I'm not doing anything, my thoughts turn to them, and I feel sad knowing that I can't currently talk to them because they're busy with something else.

I know I need to let others live their lives. I know they'll get back to me when they can, and I've gotten better about letting them. I have no idea why I'm having so much trouble with this problem of mine... But I suppose what is troubling me the most is that, at this point, I find it so difficult to gauge how much contact with somebody is too much. Whenever I'm talking to somebody I'm especially fond of, I'm almost constantly worrying about talking too much. When they're away, I'm always worried about leaving too many messages/comments/posts/etc for them to find when they get back. I don't want to come on too strong, and I don't want them to think I have no life, or that I'm obsessed somehow. People have always labeled me as some kind of creep, and I'm so f***ing tired of it! That's not who I am.

I just don't know what to do... I'm always thinking about what has happened in the past; how uncomfortable I've made some people, and how upset I've made others. I feel like an immature idiot for having this problem; I feel like I should understand people better. I feel like everyone else is capable of not giving a damn and being patient with others and concentrating on themselves and not freaking out when somebody special to them can't/doesn't talk for a while. I feel like I'm the only one who can't just shrug and think, "They're probably just busy; they'll get back to me whenever they can," and move on to something else until they do.

Am I the only one with this problem? It certainly feels like I am...

[Marcus]

You aren't the only one with this problem. I tend to do this to, and it led to the end of a 1 1/2 year relationship too. Sadly, I don't have the answer to it other than just keeping my mind fixed upon one goal.

[ST-84 Sahelanthropus]

Oh God I know how you feel, although I can't say I've ever had a real relationship with anybody. If a friend online drops out of contact for more than a few days, I expect the worst. One of my friends, CaesarofSalads, has been out of contact for months, although I think he's fine, because it says he's playing games on Steam. For some reason I can't add him as a friend, I miss him, and it's killing me. I hope he only blocked me by accident, I can't imagine why he'd block me on purpose, especially for this long. :c

I feel like there's 'nothing to do' when my friends on Steam are offline, even though I could play Halo 4 or something else on the 360 very easily just by turning my chair. At times my life seems to almost revolve around them, I'm bored and kinda upset that I can't just talk to them. For that reason I hate going places, because I don't have a laptop or phone that can go on the Internet and use Steam and keep in tough at all times. :s

Sometimes I make comments that are percieved as being overly-sexual, when to me it's just being humorously suggestive, and people berate me and sometimes block me. Thank you Fur Affinity for this 'creepy' behavior of mine. :|

[Ventus Fall]

I had this whole reply written down and then the page froze up


In which case, I want to let you know I've read it.

Basically my reply consisted out of the following things (sorry if it seems short, I'm a bit frustrated on that I lost my lengthy reply).
If you want a full, more worked out version, just message me on Skype and we can talk about it into detail if you want

I want to let you know, you're not the only one. I experience those thoughts/feelings/emotions too sometimes, my way of dealing works for me. Basically just locking them up in a cage. Doesn't mean I don't feel them, but at least I'm keeping them away from others. Also doesn't mean I never have those feelings to myself sometimes.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here, don't be afraid to PM me or Skype-poke me in some way if you ever want to talk 'bout anything at all. 

[Sirius]

You just feel more than most people. There's no reason to feel bad about having a heart. I know it's really painful and hurts the self esteem when people do this to you. It's weird the more you try to fix it the more distant they become. I've struggled with the same thing people labeling me weird or creepy just because i want to have someone to talk to and care about. I guess they don't understand it which i'm not sure if it's their fault or not. The worst part of it is the feeling you feel when someone chooses something else over you or an event over you. That sends me straight to a very dark place.

My best advice is try and find assurance in yourself. Sit down, meditate, and work out the reason why it bothers you. It will take deep thought and you have to admit some hard truths to yourself but it's always made me a better person. Noone can guarantee it will be pain free ya know? I wish you the most luck and i feel like i really can identify with how you feel.