Ridiculous Family Members

[Riyeko]

So... my mates sister, who has become increasingly stupid over the last six to seven years... had a baby about 4 years ago.
On the same day that I had my second child.
Not a problem right?

Well she goes ahead and plans her daughters birthday, didnt contact me, didnt tell me ANY of the details, nothing.

So I take off after a fight with someone today, to the animal shelter to volunteer, to cool off and to feel happy.
To be happy. Thats all i wanted today.

I get home and find this big [removed] message from my mother in law telling me that "im hurting the children" and that "im selfish and jealous of ALL the things that my sister in law is doing for her daughters birthday".

1. I dont have money for my OWN childs [removed] birthday party. Why the hell would I show up without one in front of other people I dont even know, without a gift, and eat her birthday cake?

2. She was the one who didnt invite me in the first place. The ONLY reason I found out about the kids birthday was those [removed] facebook updates on the upper right hand corner... it always gives me everyones "events" n [removed].

3. My sister in law is the one who didnt want to have the kids' birthdays together. Why? Because of those unknown people that she invited. They dont know me, they dont know my mate, they dont know my children. So.. it would be a horribly awkward situation.

I would love to have the kid's birthdays together. I would love to do stuff like this all the time.
But every time I turn around my sister in law sits there and tries to make her son, this fat little [removed] whos 5 yrs old, weights 208 lbs (omg he lost weight! *sarcasm*), better than my son.
I really dont care whos child is better at doing whatever.
I really dont give [removed] what youre doing at your daughters birthday party.
I REALLY DONT CARE.

The only thing I DO care about is the fact that both of those [removed] are making it out like im the bad guy.
I am not the [removed] bad guy today [removed].
I am not the evil brooding family member that hurts people on purpose!
[removed] and I hope that the birthday isnt as awesome as it sounds.

And for those that read this, that think I am jealous... I am a bit.
Shes having this HUGE party with like, 20 people, ornament decorating and a pinata... while I have.. a birthday cake, family members and possibly 5 presents.. and all of those presents.. come from my sister and my mother.
I cant afford to get my son anything but a [removed] cake, because thats the only thing that food stamps will buy.

[removed]

[Puncia]

Speaking from personal experience, my best advice is to take a deep breath and calm down. Kids are more understanding than most people believe and I am positive your family knows you only want the best, and you do whatever you can.

Think about it this way... at least you're not spoiling them to the point they can't appreciate the little good things in life.

Jealousy is a sour fruit indeed. But getting angry because of other people's stupidity won't change anything. Your mood might even affect those around you.

[Ares the Ram]

All they know is that you didnt go to the party, and thats all they care about. Youre a good person and your son is lucky to have you as a mom. *thumbs up* 

[unicorn]

When I was younger my parents didn't have much money therefore couldn't afford many gifts/expensive gifts for birthdays/holidays. I never really cared though, just the fact that my parents loved me and got me something was enough. You sound like a great mother and I think you should go on and forget your sister/mother in law and make your childs birthday excellent in the best way you can. You are not in the wrong, and they are just playing catty games with you. Let it roll off your back ^__^

[Riyeko]

1st.. oh good lord, all the editing makes my post colorful.
Sorry, if I did put curse words in there, I didnt mean to. I just copied and pasted it from another location, and thought I had at least edited out or substituted words in there for the cursing. Plus, i was angry and was seeing red at the time I posted it, so .. I might not have seen them at all.

2nd.. I found out that my lovely sister in law is really losing her mind.
She has three children of her own. Two boys and one girl (girls in the middle age wise). I guess this week they all had fevers (her youngest son is barely 4 months old), they all had ear infections, and they all were either puking or coughing or being sick in general.
So.. she took them to the urgent care, which of course, any mother would do. But the day after, she decides to go down to the city, which is an hour drive, in rainy, icy conditions, WITH her sick children, and run around with this married man that she thought was the father of her newest child.
Seriously. She took her children out into the weather so she could get a piece.
This just.. enrages me on a motherly level. 
What kind of mother would sacrifice her own childrens health just to see a boyfriend, that happens to be married?
And as I was talking to my MIL (mom in law), she told me that she had bought right into my SIL (sis in law), crap, and all the lies. and that she was sorry. They came by the birthday and everything, and I really was only angry at SIL instead of both of them.
*growls*
But, we were talking, and we both believe that shes got some serious mental issues that are cropping up. Shes irresponsable, she doesnt take care of her kids and puts them in danger, she puts them in enviornments that are hazardous to their mental health and well being, and she usually just does whatever SHE wants to do. Its all about HER. Not her children.
So we both think shes going crazy.
I mean, I knew her back in high school a few years back and she was NEVER like this. She had more common sense and more goals and aspirations than any one of my circle of friends ever had. We figured she was the one to become the high end, money making CEO of some big butted company up in like, New York or something.
*shakes head*

But on another note.
Birthday was great. My son, Haydon, had a great time, he ate all the frosting off of the cake and ate all his ice cream, got a couple huge toys with bunches of cars.
And because he likes that Cars movie, with "lightning mcqueen" in it, he probably has five or six of those cars running around my house now. 
Hes a great kid, I love him and hes got his own weird quirks, but.. we had a good time.
He did get sick last night, nasty tummy while my friends and I were gaming... and that was hilarious in its own right when he puked down my shirt and arm, I hear a resounding "oh god ewwwwwwwwwwww" from the living room.
Hes better now though, believe he got over the worst of it and is now running around the bedroom at the moment when he should be in bed lol.

And im not really mad at SIL anymore. I learned a while back when i went through what im calling my 'religious phase" that being angry and revengeful over petty stuff isnt worth it and causes me to bite my nails and stress out too much.
Im angry at the fact she lied, but not at her.
I even got her kids some xmas gifts with the little money my grandmother sent us in the mail along with the cards and ornaments for the kids.

But, yeah im also happy that Jones, my big fat orange cat is huge enough to block the santa gifts I got earlier today, cause theyre sitting in front of the coat closet in the living room, in walmart bags.

Have a Happy Christmas and Merry New Years guys!

[Ares the Ram]

Kudos to you Riyeko! As for your sister in law, maybe you could help her see a specialist. She can get in big trouble, I.e. lose the kids, if shes putting them in danger like that.