So I normally hate venting/asking for advice on the forums and in general but I really just need to right now.
I'm depressed as hell and I know exactly why, it honestly hit me like an hour ago. For a while, I felt like I was just in a bad mood since I really have no obvious reason to be depressed. I have a steady job w/ good standing, a place to live, friends and a good family.
But at work one day, I ran into this girl I dated years back (that I honestly never got over). I was coming back from a smoke break and she happened to be ordering something. We talked and made plans to hang out, I was understandably excited since I hadn't seen her in a year.
Then she comes over. And it all hit me (I just didn't realize atm). She was still sweet and nice, things I liked about her. But I began to realize how much of an asshole I am. I was just constantly sarcastic and being how I thought I just was. I'm a terrible person is the conclusion I ended up coming to tonight.
I'm not suicidal or "I'm gonna be the best person ever!" about it. I just don't want to be depressed and so prickish anymore but it's kind of hard to figure out. I've started anti depressants a few days ago so there's that, I guess.
I don't know. I'm just rambling at this point. My bad.