A bunch of my poems

[Vee Katame: His Wolfy]

Well, it's supposed to be saying that we're all the same at the end of the poem.
I do believe that the first two parts are the best though. I kind of lost ideas at the end.
Of course, the poem I enter in the contest can only be 24 lines, so I could only have seven more lines if I expanded. Though I'd have more room if I figured out how to change the end.
I'm thinking about it though. Seeing what else I could come up with.

[Asia Kali Yusufzai]

Well personally, I would just chop that last bit off and write something more about being together with multiple heartbeats, but then ofcourse it is your poem and your message, and the message is important.

[Vee Katame: His Wolfy]

I know. I probably will chop off the end; probably tonight.
Thank you for your opinion. It does help.

[Vee Katame: His Wolfy]

A Heartbeat (revised)             written on 10/21/09
A heartbeat.
Calming, comforting sound.
A new life.
A new mother.
A heartbeat.
Two becoming one.
Beating three times.
Skipping once.
Then continuing.
It says 'I love you'.
A heartbeat.
Connecting families.
Keeping them together.
Making a strong bond.
A heartbeat.
Linking pet and owner.
They will be bonded.
Through hardships.
They will be each others' comfort.
A heartbeat.
Connecting all.
Through life and love.
The beginning of everything.
A heartbeat.


I hope it sounds better now.

[Asia Kali Yusufzai]

muuuuch better, I especially liked the bit about the pets, so that it's not just a family thing, not just a blood thing, but an all encompassing pull into friendship and love. It's great, and generally avoids cliche or anything like that.

Well done.

[Vee Katame: His Wolfy]

Thank you.