Meep! I've been getting remarks that it's too repetitive, that it's just fine, that it's too bland, that it's very descriptive... I don't know what to think anymore >
Tell me what you guys think plz...
'Tis the prologue for a story I'm writing dedicated to my fursona
If there was ever a place where one could go sit down to gather their thoughts, I knew it. If there was ever a place where the grass grew in such a way that with every small gesture from your body, every minute movement, you were provided with the feeling that you were gloating atop the clouds, I knew it. If there was ever a place where the inhabitants who live in it were the friendliest furries that waved "hello" to any stranger that went by as they went about their usual, happy lives, I knew it.
If there is a place where chaos and ruin have torn it apart, I know it. If there is a place where all hope seems lost, I know it. If there is a place where the once happy people that inhabited it now lay on the ground, their usually bright and happy dresses drenched in dried, crusty blood that, if not theirs, belonged to whomever was nearest them, I know it. If there is someone in a place where, amidst all the pain and sorrow, he still stands strong, and fights to survive, I know him all-too-well.
These two places, they are the same. They have both influenced my life with conflicting emotions, emotions that run deep within the confinements of my heart. You see, I was born there. As much as I hate to say it, Candoris is my home. Battered and decayed, it is what it is.
My home, my real home, was a wonderful place. Heh, I still remember my street address. 249 Judix Street. Oh yes, good ol' Judy. Man I loved it there. I might not have realized it then, but now I see how much that place has influenced my life for the better. Man, I really miss it there. I bet if I went there right now, it’d be a massive pile of rubble and dead bodies, though. Besides, there are way too many memories there, some good, and some bad. Watching my friends, my family, all of the people closest to me die was just…
Topic: Prologue... too repetitive? (Read 2133 times)