Author Topic: Advice please! (Read 361 times)

juliet · « **on:** May 23, 2014, 10:20:01 AM »

My friend has been making a complete jerk out of herself! She has a boyfriend and yet she constantly hangs on her "friend" well this friend started having more unsavory thoughts and wanted to have sex with her, which upset me. So I went to her. I told her she needed to stop hanging on him, before people started to go around and start rumors and then other people went to her boyfriend and try to ruin their relationship.

She went and told her aunt I was trying to break them up. Her aunt jumps on me over Facebook calling me a horrible friend and saying I would never break up my friend and her boyfriend, but I never attempted in the first place. I'm so upset with her because I was trying to help her. I was trying to help her not look like a whore, and trying to help her keep her relationship intact.

What should I do since she feels this way?

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nixon/monto · « **Reply #1 on:** May 23, 2014, 11:42:11 AM »

When a person (friend) betrays you, leave them to rot. Just tell them "goodbye" and just leave them. She obviously isn't your friend so just leave. (Not saying you can't still help her but she if she hates you for helping her then don't be her friend because she doesn't trust you.

ShiroTenshiRyu · « **Reply #2 on:** May 23, 2014, 12:10:07 PM »

Nixon is spot on. That's the beginning of a bad, possibly abusive friendship. Its time to leave her to the dogs. You can't stop people from digging their own graves.

juliet · « **Reply #3 on:** May 23, 2014, 12:12:51 PM »

I can't say I don't agree because I do agree. I just don't want to do that to her.

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anoni · « **Reply #4 on:** May 23, 2014, 12:18:42 PM »

Let that be your last option, the one that Nixon suggested. I think the reason she lashed out at you like that was, perhaps, there was a bit of truth to your words and although you were giving helpful advice, she may of saw it as you telling her what to do or you saying she was doing something wrong. It's a case of where constructive criticism is taken as simple criticism, which isn't a good thing on her part. My advice though, it's a very volatile situation, so I think you should leave it, you have to be careful when you help someone and when you don't, some people simply won't accept help and don't want help. In that case there's not much you can do, you don't have to drop her as a friend, but it might be better if you leave the issue alone. Even if you see it going down a bad path, if she isn't willing to accept your help, then there's not much you can do.

juliet · « **Reply #5 on:** May 23, 2014, 12:20:52 PM »

Thank you, that sounds like a better option

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Salix · « **Reply #6 on:** May 24, 2014, 02:27:55 AM »

Yeah, I'll agree with that. While I usually dislike the term "wait and see" that's pretty much the option. Don't get involved and perhaps distance yourself. Not entirely, but enough so there would be no collateral damage if any were to occur.
And she had to learn from her own mistakes.

Trigahex · « **Reply #7 on:** May 28, 2014, 07:52:54 AM »

I imagine you just cant do anything. till she learns her lesson let her make a fool of herself.

NautilusWolf · « **Reply #8 on:** June 06, 2014, 06:48:34 PM »

Ultimately, those things are her choices, and I'm going to sound like the broken record here, just say, "see ya." Let her live the consequences, but if she realizes she made the mistakes and comes back to you, greet her with open arms and help if possible.

juliet · « **Reply #9 on:** June 06, 2014, 06:50:59 PM »

Update: we stopped talking. She admitted taking things too far. Now we just aren't talking for now. (To be honest I don't want to talk to her she pissed me off.) the situation is now contained though, thank you for the advice guys!

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White Wolf Guardian · « **Reply #10 on:** June 06, 2014, 11:20:18 PM »

My sister used to do this and it never ends well. Just let her make the mistakes, you can't convince them anyways, not at that age. If this is a good friend, she will come back when the next dark time comes up in her life.