I'll get right into this, I suppose. Yesterday I went on what I thought was a date. It was with one of the Japanese students studying at my university over the summer. I was almost certain that she liked me, and everyone else I'd spoken to about it—and even some of the other Japanese students, it would seem—was quite convinced, as well. She and I had already gone on two late-night walks together that both lasted until roughly 2:00 in the morning. She would give me longer-than-normal hugs. Whenever my group had to be split up between cars (yes, she is actually in my group), she would always want to ride with me. She also requested that it be just me and her last night when we went out, rather than inviting the rest of my group. The icing on the cake came a few nights ago, when I sat next to her on a couch, and she leaned right up against me without missing a beat. We cuddled. My arm was around her, she placed her hand on my knee at one point, I placed my hand on hers, and everything. I told a few of my friends about this, and they were all so sure that she liked me. One friend—I see her as my big sister—was even worried that this girl would try to kiss me when we went out together. Even the other Japanese students apparently noticed a significant shift in her body language whenever she was around me.
So I took her out for dinner and a walk downtown last night. Everything went so well, until we got back to school and I sat her down to talk. I told her how I was surprised that she had gotten so close to me on the couch that night, and I asked her how she felt about me. She said that she only saw me as a friend. She apologized for confusing me, and as we went up the elevator to the dorms, she thanked me for asking her. After a minute or two up there with the other students in the game room, I told her that I had to go, and she hugged me the same way she did every night when we said goodbye. I don't know if she feels awkward or not, because she definitely isn't showing it if she is. I, on the other hand, felt very awkward for that couple of minutes in the game room. I have a feeling that they started talking about me when I left...
I know it wasn't her intention, but I just feel so led on... She and the others are here for the rest of the summer, and she's in my group. I'm still going to have to look after her and do things with her. I just hope this awkward feeling goes away quickly.
At least I didn't go with my initial plan... At first, I was planning on actually telling her that I liked her, rather than asking how she felt about me. I planned on just saying "daisuki desu," which, according to my big sister that I mentioned earlier, means either "I love you," or "I like you a lot," depending on context (in this case, it would mean the latter). Now that she's told me she just likes me as a friend, I'm glad I didn't go with that plan... It would have only made the outcome worse, I think.
At this point, I just have no idea what to do... I feel like I've royally screwed up, and just doomed myself to spending a summer pretending to be calm and happy while spending time with a girl I like who doesn't like me back—and a group that almost certainly knows it.
Topic: Disappointed/Led on (sort of) (Read 382 times)