Am I too ugly and shy to love?

[Ottersmash]

People also can have very cruel attitudes, in which case you shouldn't bother with their bullshit. Being less than a Barbie doesn't make someone too ugly to love or mean that, physically and otherwise, there aren't things worth appreciating about them. Some people consider being condescending and gossipy a form of ugly, too.

As for your personality flaws, there are always going to be people who mind and people who don't. It's inescapable for even the most beautiful of people; the good and the bad. What we need isn't the personal approval of the world at large, but the love of people who think our set of pros are worth our cons.

[ArcticSkyWolf]

just dont care, if you find someone that really loves you for who you are, then that's the one to love. of course, you have to love him too.

[Black-Horse]

After everyone here just put great advise out here, I havnt read all of it.. But if your BF is ganna be like dat, then he knows nothing on compliments.. I personally do not look for attractiveness on the outside, its whats on the inside. I think the real ugly is those who arnt nice and judge one that isnt pretty, or whatever.. Ugly is what is on the inside, the outer shell of your looks is like an ilusion.. It may cover your true self.. or anything.. If I were that bf, id say.. you know.. no matter what anyone says, you are very beautiful.. But i mean it by what is about you. Dont feel down about yourself, I dont know you much.. but I just want you to know..

[x]

Thanks, Black Unicorn.

This is all great advice and I appreciate it and am really looking up latley. I'm using what I have to be beautiful, and I feel great every day.

[Black-Horse]

1 is glad to help  

[Taserwulf]

I'll start off by saying I only read the first few replies because I had to make one of my own!
 
First off, I know how you feel.  I fit almost all of the things you said about yourself.  Thing is, I have learned that the way others feel about you isn't what matters.  What you feel about yourself is what really matters.  See the beauty in yourself and let it show so everyone else can see it too.  Remember that the stuck-up, self-important girls of the world can never be as happy as a girl who has found her inner beauty.  It isn't who you know or what you look like that makes you who you are... It's what you do and how you think about the world around you.  You are loved and you are beautiful, no matter what.

[johnny hurricane]

Queen - Somebody To Love

Post Merge: October 19, 2011, 02:31:53 AMEven the greatest among us have these issues. Don't feel bad, though.

[Ziaki]

I'm going to start by saying that I know how you feel. I've wrestled with my self esteem my entire life and still do. I carry around a lot of self hatred with me for reasons that are not important to this particular conversation. But like others have said you have to look for the positive. You have to try to believe your boyfriend. My boyfriend tells me I"m beautiful several times a day and I have a hard time believing him.




But here's the part I'm probably going to catch some crap for but I want everybody to understand that this is the most honest advice I can possibly give and it comes from experience.


If there is something you honestly do not like about yourself that is fixable then fix it. Don't do it for anybody else. Do it for yourself, so you can be happy. I'm sorry if it seems harsh but it's the truth. I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with you as you are or that you HAVE to fix anything. But if there is something you can do for yourself to make you happier then stop making excuses and do it.


It's not easy work but if you truly want something you should be willing to work for it.

• I didn't like my weight. I did some research, changed my eating habits and started exercising. I went from 220 to 143. I have a little bit more to go but I'm much happier with my body now and it was worth the work, blood, sweat and tears. There is no such thing as not enough time to take care of your health and your body. It only takes 30 minutes a day to start getting on the right track with exercise and it will save your life.
• I don't like my obsessive compulsive behavior. So every day as painful as it is for me I expose myself to something that sets off my OCD. In three years of this I have come so far. I can now sit down and have a meal with somebody without wanting to punch them in the face for eating. I can now tolerate people chewing gum as long as they keep their mouth closed. I can now walk through my house without rearranging everything 'just right'. I still have some more things to over come but I'm working on it.
• I don't like my tendency towards selfishness. I am admittedly a very selfish person and most of the things I do, I do them because I'm going to get something out of it. So every day I try to do something selfless for somebody whether it's my boyfriend or coworkers or friends or strangers.

I am not special. I am not the only person in this world who it changing themselves for the better.


I promise that if you set small goals for yourself you will feel so much better and happier with yourself once you start achieving them. You just have to want to do it.

[Egan]

Well, I'm glad you can see some root causes of your idea that you are "Ugly". The people making fun of you because of your looks, everyone has that, even supermodels get that sometimes.
And I would assume that not 90% of your town isn't "Beautiful", but instead you look so far down upon yourself anyone but you is beautiful in one way or another.
And I doubt your boyfriend, if he is truly as good as a person as I would believe he is, wouldn't care if you were so unattractive, he would still love you.
And I know how this feels too. But the first step to having a problem is admitting you have one, or in this case, admitting your problem is THINKING you have one.
All I'm saying is, try to change your view. Focus on the postive. Look at how much better you look than others.