Strange emotions.

[Sij]

I must seem like such a negative nancy! I assure you things aren't as bad as they seem, even though I've been posting in this section a lot.

             As far as the strange emotions, for some reason, I've been feeling like I want to be in a romantic relationship again. But at the same time I don't, because I feel like a romantic relationship will hinder my ability to progress as a person. And what I mean by that, is when I end up getting into a relationship, I always seem to focus on the person I'm with, and somewhere along the line I end up forgetting about myself, and my passions. I don't want that to happen again. I'm satisfied with being single, but I feel like being in a relationship would be nice also.  Its strange, because my spiritual path is so important to me that I don't want to get into a relationship simply because I will focus too much on my significant other. Maybe I sound selfish. But right now my aspirations are very important to me. So I'm not really sure what to do.

             Also I feel like my standards are way too high. I would require the person I choose to have a job, and a goal. Also they would need to be intelligent and a deep thinker as well. I have very high standards, because I'm not look for mr "good enough" Im' looking for mr. "perfect".  Although I'm not naive in thinking that I'm going to get the boyfriend I want down to his teeth. Also I don't believe its possible for me to find a person that fits my standards at my age (17)

            I guess what I'm getting at is, what do you guys think I should do? I'm kinda lost at this point. Which is actually kinda rare.

[✡]

can't set your standards too high when looking for love. I had one potential boyfriend tell me I had to have "good grades" to be able to date him. you can bet I never called HIM back. you don't always need to be in a relationship, be comfortable with yourself and reflect on whether or not you're ready to deal with a romantic relationship again.

[Sij]

No no my standards aren't like that. I set high but realistic standards. I mean. I'm not READY to be in a relationship, however. My mind wanders, and makes me want to be in one. But then the logical side of me is saying that I should proceed with my life as a single person until I've reached my goals in life, but those goals can take a minimum of 10 years. It's strange, I've never been CONFUSED about what I want to do relationship wise. I'm just not sure what to do.

[✡]

just find someone who feels right, then you tend to know what to do

[Sij]

I've been in love before. (My last relationship) But it kinda really sucked. I'm not quite sure why I even feel this way at all. I usually don't do relationships at all, because like I said I end up focusing more on them than I do myself and my goals.