Rant.

[Kodachi Devil]

Ugh, where the heck do I begin? Well, at home it seems like I can't say or do anything. I'm an only child, so naturally you would think my parents pay more attention to me than someone with a brother or sister, but they're always mad at every little thing that I do! I can't say or do, or even LIKE, anything!

I've always been a screw-up, I admit it. I can't do simple tasks. I don't know why, I just can't I always mess up. I understand it's frustrating, but still. And like, we were at the mall one time, my dad got super mad at me because I said "Hey dad, can we get this CD? It's only 9 bucks!". It was a MUSE CD, and I really love them. I'd understand if he didn't have the money, but he just got all pissed off. Mom got me the CD, even though i didn't really care at this point, and I listened to it on the way home, but i kept trying to figure out what was wrong. My mom, forget it though! you can never do anything wrong or she's instantly yelling! And so what do I do, I don't shut my mouth, I admit it. Cause I don't like constantly being yelled at over little things. So I cleaned my room, and messed it up in 3 days, I CAN CLEAN IT AGAIN!

I've just been getting so distanced from them lately.

I know there's been alot going on (you know, economy wise, bills, I guess) but I don't get why they're always so angry.
My mom was kinda mad, but i guess she had I right to, when this happened. She asked why I needed to go to the library so I told her: I need a book on guns and swords for my comic. And she's all "Oh what the hell (i dont knw if thatll be muted) do you need something like that for!?" and I'm like: I just said, for my comic!

And then she get's mad sometimes, when I'm working on the comic. I don't really have anything else to do, and she blames my comics if I get a grade lower than an 85 in school. And my grandmotheris always pressuring me for hundreds. I just broke up with this super-jealous girl and my grandfather got all mad and started yelling at me: OH WELL YOU SHOULDNT HAVE TAKEN A IPCTURE WITH THAT OTHER GIRL. IF YOU GET A GRLFRIEND YOU REJECT EVERYONE ELESE! and im silently thinking: Im about to reject you leave me alone!

And my godmother is so objecting the other day. She's nice but she says things. When i was saying i'd break up with that girl she says to me: Oh what so you don't like girls or something what's wrogn with you?
I just clammed up, because most of my familyis like that, so how the hell do I tell them I like boys, too? It's all so confusing and darn it they were never this strict/questioning before!

I mean there are times when theyre really nice! I mean really really nice! It's just they get mad too easy...so i started distancing myself. AND FORGET SCHOOL!  Speaking of which i came out to two close friends of mine and one says "Look i'll still be your friend but you do know youre going to hell, right?" and im like "WTF!?" I never dropped an F-bomb until that day. And somehow the entire school found out and wouldn't leave me alone!
I just hang out with my games and pictures and CD's now, and tend not to do anything else, and I know that's not good for me but what else am I to do? Am i over-reacting? I'm just a 13 year old boy, so maybe i am. It's just I don't know why people get so mad, and I acn't take it.. I think I have a problem or two myself, I just don't want to tell anyone.

Would it be wise for me to just clam up until school starts again? I'm going to high school in september, so I know this will be hell for me. I seriously do.
Maybe just  little advice is nice, pelase.

[Seko]

my advice would be not to just clam up and stay at home all day, because one; expression is important and two; you may become socially inept, and trust me, it sucks...

and high school aint that bad  , sure the lessons are a little harder, but you will meet awesome people 







....psssst.....the first month or two of highschool is awesome..... all the work is easy until they determine if u are smart xD

[Self-sain]

Ok umm what seko said... not trying to be a "man part" but... high school is not easy, it isn't always better. Yea you "might" get lucky and have all that nice little crap. Kee[ping to your self, is good..., to a point, you should always have someone to talk to, even if its only online. But don't be one of those people that think that they have to have a million friends to be happy. One or two close friends is all that you need. and also no your not going to hell, idc what those people think, there isn't anything wrong with you, it's natural, and it happens in nature... so you can't exactly get more natural then that >>... Sorry about your parents, and stuff, the best thing to do in my opinion is not to talk to them. Respond if they something, but don't waste your time talking to them. Yea they might be your parents, biologically, but if they are that horrible, then they aren't acting like parents then are they?  Clamming up isn't ever good, you should not do that. Putting a wall up, and clamming up are different, if you only want to let certain people in then that's fine. But always try to express your self, that's all you have, and that's who you are, don't let other people take that away.   

[Kodachi Devil]

They aren't HORRIBLE! Just it seems I get in trouble too much when I dont see me doing much wrong
And it's not so much Mom/Dad about the bi think (dad's just fidgety about it) its the godparents, grandparents, and a couple uncles.

Post Merge: August 12, 2010, 09:13:39 PMand thanks for the help, by the way. I feel a bit better now ^-^

[DatFox Coleo]

I think you need a hug ^^

[Self-sain]

I do *hugs dat* 

and yea that sucks idk why every one in the whole family always has to say something >>

[Righteousbro]

I feel the same usually, I try to stay out of everyone's way as often as possible but they still find something to complain about, and usually they complain that I try to stay out of the way, and if I don't they complain that I've messed everything up.
I don't have much advice and I really don't know how to handle this, I've always wanted to know what would happen if I just finally exploded, just let them know what's up and maybe they'd understand, I doubt it.

[Kodachi Devil]

I.....semi-exploded the other day, eh heh.
They don't understand, and now my mom thinks im faking a mental condition for attention! CAN YOU BELEIVE IT?

[Self-sain]

Actually I can, just like your gay, for attention. Its not always good to exploed. I did it one time over nothing, and I almost took someone out, so its not good...

[Morticia]

I can tell you deep down and truly from the heart-- I understand what you're going through.

All though I must say-- my story is a bit in the reversed. I was an only child for sixteen long and amazing years of my life. Sure, I had friends-- but we live on the far outskirts of town in the woods so I befriended animals. I grew up happy, I got whatever I wanted, I was well behaved and got amazing grades and was well praised and rewarded.

When my mom and dad split, it hurt-- but I understood. She got with my step-dad, and THAT'S when things started going down for me.
It was fine for a few years, but the constant stress upon my mom from her job and the semi-symbiotic relationship she keeps with my stepdad has really made her come down on me in the last year or so-- even this last week was a disaster. The economy is bad and with the price of getting me back into college this semester (dorms and textbooks are INSANELY priced! It's fine until your scholarships dry up-- ugh.) and feeding my three younger step-brothers, she's really been pushed to the edge.

I get yelled at for every little thing. Before I moved back into my dorm last Saturday, I'd become the target of her need for an outlet for her anger. She'd made snide remarks about the fact that I still play Pokemon (which I enjoy and has been a huge influence on my art and creativity today), my boyfriend (he's Native American and Puerto Rican-- both her and my dad are sorta closet racist ), the fact that I'm "lazy" (even though I have to police three young boys and clean her house every day for her) and just-- yeah. She even told me I disappointed her for the first time two days ago because I have no money saved up. It killed me a little-- but I know I have to move past it.

Anyway-- I kinda started to rant there. xD In a nutshell-- I just want you to know that you're not alone. Keep drawing those comics! Art is my passion in life, and a great way to express one's self. Don't let your parents get you down. One thing I realized is that they may crash down hard-- but sometimes it's just the fact that they don't understand the differences from their generation to ours, or they don't understand you totally as an individual. (That was and STILL is a HUGE problem for me.)

High school can be really fun, so look forward to it and make the most out of it! I often wish I could go back! I'm 19-- 20 next March, and this is my 3rd semester in college. Work really hard at school, because it'll only get harder-- but it will also get so much more fun and enjoyable for you. Don't be stuck without social skills-- it'll make life much more hard! Try to make as many friends (or as few) as you need. Friends are the best support in your life!

Hope things turn around for you-- I know they will. Just soldier on!

[Kodachi Devil]

kyaah~ something great happened! I finally let everything off with em in a long 2-hour talk (gosh 2 hours is a LONG time)
things lookin gooooooood.
well, for now, eh heh. Im gonna see how this goes for a month or so.
*hoping everything will work out*
oh and high school SERIOUSLY isn't that bad ..well, mandatory marching band camp isn't.
I made friends with a senior. and apparently my new name is "Phillip the Freshy" and I'm not even a Phillip. my names Kyle O_O