Ok so, over the past few weeks, I've joined a string of Rps. (Medieval, Acention City, Revolutionary, and I think one more.) I love them and I am just having a total blast, but joining some of them was quite the struggle and still kinda is.
You see, I often times psych myself out of doing things by putting the thought in my head that everyone else doing the activity hates me or thinks I'm annoying. If I'm doing things like joining a club or roleplay with others that I have dealt with before, I start to get paranoid and start feeling out of place. For a while I have wanted to join a few new rps, but have stopped myself for fear that I was going to annoy the other rpers. This fealing of displacement is at it's worse when I am looking at an rp with people I have rped with before. Like for the games I listed above; The same four or five people have placed their character bios in all of them and I am always reluctant because I am afraid they are getting tired of me joining in and just wanna get away from me, but don't say anything because they don't want to hurt my feelings.
I was talking to my friend about it and she said the same thing I was afraid of. TT_TT Let me tell you, for the Revolutionary War rp, it took all I could to post my bio. I had it ready for a whole week and only said that I wanted to research a little first because I was scared of being a nuisance.
"No, you stalking weirdo! Don't bother them!"
"They don't want your lack of historic knowledge ruining their game!"
"Acon and Mongolia wouldn't fit in there!"
"You're a f**king joke and no one wants you on the forum!"
These are all the thoughts that run through my mind before I do anything on this forum. .er, anything anywhere for that matter. Am I just being an idiot for feeling this way?
